V.Vixen Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 I date a LOT. I have yet to find a man that I would like to be in a relationship with since I have gotten divorced, and it is even rare that I want to get to the point of having sex with a lot of them. Seems that I know SO many women who are attached. Are many of them settling, or am I being too picky? I think I am a good person, i consider myself attractive, smart, funny, and I think I have a good heart. I am not trying to be conceited, but I should be able to find a boyfriend who I don't feel I have to settle for. I am just getting tired of casual dating, but I don't want to settle because I would rather be single than with the wrong guy.
Vertex Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 I'm in the same boat, really. Haha, only in my case it's just because I'm really shy. Are you a fairly outgoing person?
Green Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 hello wrong guy here, and is that what you look like in the avatar... wowser!!!
Author V.Vixen Posted October 7, 2008 Author Posted October 7, 2008 I can be shy, but the thing is that I have been on quite a few dates in the past year. I keep trying to keep the fun in it, but the whole first date buildup gets old after while. I get to the third date at most, and that is usually when I know that things won't last.
Author V.Vixen Posted October 7, 2008 Author Posted October 7, 2008 hello wrong guy here, and is that what you look like in the avatar... wowser!!! and where are you from Mr wrong guy KMT? that is me in the avatar, and thank you. =)
D-Lish Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 I haven't found someone that has blown me away since my divorce 6 years ago. I've pretty much gotten to the point where I have given up it will ever happen. I get frustrated with the whole "approach me" thing. Men often stare, but rarely do they approach. It's the guys way too young for me that seem to have the balls to say something. I was in a mall today and some kid on an upper level yelled down at me "hey blondie- I love you!!"... he couldn't have been more than 16. I am possibly older than his mother... But guys my age- they just seem to stare and never do anything. Perhaps you're an "unapproachable girl"? Maybe too intimidating? It happens you know- really attractive girls don't get approached because of the intimidation factor. If that's you in your avatar... I could see that being the case.
Author V.Vixen Posted October 7, 2008 Author Posted October 7, 2008 Thank you for the attractive comments. I am flattered (btw that is just a REALLY good picture of me in my avatar, ocean wind does wonders for my hair! hahah) I know I am not unattractive, and I have been told that I come off as intimidating. I just don't see it. I think I am of average attractiveness and one of the least intimidating people I know.lol I guess other people do see you differently than you see yourself though. I thought confidence is sexy to men?! I am clearly just attracting the wrong kinds...
Konfuzion Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 I date a LOT. I have yet to find a man that I would like to be in a relationship with since I have gotten divorced, and it is even rare that I want to get to the point of having sex with a lot of them. Seems that I know SO many women who are attached. Are many of them settling, or am I being too picky? I think I am a good person, i consider myself attractive, smart, funny, and I think I have a good heart. I am not trying to be conceited, but I should be able to find a boyfriend who I don't feel I have to settle for. I am just getting tired of casual dating, but I don't want to settle because I would rather be single than with the wrong guy. I haven't found someone that has blown me away since my divorce 6 years ago. I've pretty much gotten to the point where I have given up it will ever happen. I get frustrated with the whole "approach me" thing. Men often stare, but rarely do they approach. It's the guys way too young for me that seem to have the balls to say something. I was in a mall today and some kid on an upper level yelled down at me "hey blondie- I love you!!"... he couldn't have been more than 16. I am possibly older than his mother... But guys my age- they just seem to stare and never do anything. Perhaps you're an "unapproachable girl"? Maybe too intimidating? It happens you know- really attractive girls don't get approached because of the intimidation factor. If that's you in your avatar... I could see that being the case. You are both beautiful women and probably intimidate most men that would otherwise interest you. Best of luck to you both... Oh and D-Lish if that's you in those pics I could see why you attract younger men you look 22-24 yourself but talk like your in your 30's.
All Star Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 Thank you for the attractive comments. I am flattered (btw that is just a REALLY good picture of me in my avatar, ocean wind does wonders for my hair! hahah) I know I am not unattractive, and I have been told that I come off as intimidating. I just don't see it. I think I am of average attractiveness and one of the least intimidating people I know.lol I guess other people do see you differently than you see yourself though. I thought confidence is sexy to men?! I am clearly just attracting the wrong kinds... You're going to have to be proactive and approach men first. That will knock down what ever perception they have of you being unapproachable. They probably think that you are already taken.
audrey_1 Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 You're going to have to be proactive and approach men first. That will knock down what ever perception they have of you being unapproachable. They probably think that you are already taken. Even though I'm no longer dating this person, in the very beginning, he asked me why I was still single, said he thought I'd be married. Then as we dated for a while, he said I was a good "catch" and that my independence was intimidating. He is now dating someone else, so....
Scottdmw Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 Two things come to mind. First, is it possible that you had a set of criteria you were looking for which your ex had. Following your divorce, you added to those criteria all the things which you feel caused the divorce. So now you have a more restrictive list than last time around, combined with being older and divorced which, rightly or wrongly, makes you less desirable. Second, is it possible that somewhere in your heart you feel like you really still belong with your ex? Most people promise "for better or worse, till death do us part. . . ." I don't know your situation, but I believe that many divorces in our society are far too easily decided on and only later do people find out that it's not so easy to put aside a marriage and find a replacement.
grogster Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 I'm doing the casual date thing, now. I'm not fatigued just yet. But give me time. I'm dealing with women in their 40's and 50's who are much more direct, assertive and "come hither" than their more diffident, younger counterparts. It gets less complicated as everyone ages.
tanbark813 Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 What are you looking for in a SO? And what about the men you've dated so far disqualifies them?
flc Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 My problem has been a few short term relationships, 2-3 months rather than serial dating. Long enough to get comfortable and in some cases pretty involved and then for whatever reason, hers, mine we break it off. Then you have to go through the agony of the breakup and knowing that you are starting over again. It may be easier being more picky and not getting into these types of situations but so far after dating 3 or 4 women I get involved exclusive with one and off we go. You may be better off than you think as we are mostly all looking for LTR anyway.
carhill Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 I date a LOT. I have yet to find a man that I would like to be in a relationship with since I have gotten divorced, and it is even rare that I want to get to the point of having sex with a lot of them. Define "a lot". How many unique men per month? How long since your divorce? Why would you like to be in a relationship? I am just getting tired of casual dating, but I don't want to settle because I would rather be single than with the wrong guy. Tell me about the last guy with whom you had chemistry but ultimately decided not to settle for. I'd like to hear about that process. Editorially, my instinct is that you're sending out signals contrary to what your brain is telling you that you want. There is conflict. Perhaps the "right" men for you are confused by this and we all know what the confused mind says
All Star Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 Even though I'm no longer dating this person, in the very beginning, he asked me why I was still single, said he thought I'd be married. Then as we dated for a while, he said I was a good "catch" and that my independence was intimidating. He is now dating someone else, so.... "my independence was intimidating" TRANSLATION: This mean's that you are being difficult and fighting him on bull$hit. Is that what you were doing? Perhap's ex hubby did somethings that pissed you off and now you're making sure they don't happen again and that behavior is annoying to the men you are dating.
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