sad_eyes Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 What is the point of NC if I keep talking to her in my head? I mean I go over what I want to say to her again and again. I rewrite it, I edit it, I start over. Sometimes I feel like if I just contacted her and told her, I could stop. Remind me why not just call her and tell her? Please. Thank you.
lofi_tokyo Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 On the coping forum theres a thread where you can write what you wanna say to your ex on the thread rather than saying it to them. It really helps, and totally alleviates the pent up emotions. Give it a try?
Author sad_eyes Posted October 7, 2008 Author Posted October 7, 2008 Thanks for the response. When will I stop talking to her in my head?
alwayssme Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 i wonder what's the point of NC...it's supposed to help you get over them, but i don't know
ahhhchooo Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 You won't keep talking to someone in your head if you stay NC. There are only a limited number of conversations you can have with that imaginary person, and after time you'll stop thinking of them so often. You'll never truly forget your ex, and there's good reason for that - learning from your mistakes.
lofi_tokyo Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 You'll never truly forget your ex, and there's good reason for that - learning from your mistakes. Nice explanation there ahhchoo I like it because I was bothered by the fact I could not just erase all memories of my ex from my brain - but I like that - learning! Why didn't I think of that sooner ;p
pr-girl Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 I think NC is supposed to help us forget them entirely. If you are still in love with them, you won't ever forget them. NC helps the urge not to contact; although, I'm very bad at NC, so I don't know if it works.
moby Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 I use to have the urge to break the no contact and call my ex all the time and now I'm not contacting him but I still imagine what I would say to him if I saw him and have those conversations in my head with him but then I think about how much progress I've made with not contacting him and I really doubt at this point that I would and I think thinking of what I would say to him in my head will pass eventually just like my urge to call him did. Also, I think debating what you would say to your ex and having conversations with them in your head is probably safer than actually talking to them because you can't anticipate what another person is going to say or do to you but you do control your own thoughts and so no conversation with that person in your head is unexpected and you aren't going to think anything that you aren't already experiencing, in other words you are in control of those thoughts.. I hope that makes sense and stick in there!
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