americanlady Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 Was with my boyfriend for about 6 years.. and it was a long distant relation. He broke up with me because i called him a wrong name.. and he was helping me a lot with finances. Not only calling him a wrong name he says he felt like a door mat and he got burned.. financially and emotionally. Its been time now I have adjusted the things that he felt uncomfortable with and I can see his point of view.. about 8mths have passed so some time..the last time we talked he did say that he misses me and that he does care and he does want to see me again.. but he says that what happen affected him a hell of a lot differently then it affected me and that hes never been so pissed off in his life before and that i lost a huge chunk of trust. I did ask him if he feels he can move past this and overcome this with me and he said if you dont bother me with it because the situation is annyong already thats what im trying to do..but i dunno 8mths...so i just give him space mostly he ignores me a lot of the time anyways so i just leave him be, if he wants to talk he knows where im at.. and ill respond if im around and available, but mostly he ignores me even when he sees that im online, but i know a lot of guys ignore when there angry and unhappy with someone might be awkward even or maybe just wanting to move on i dunno. I asked him before about the ignoring he says hes busy.. but thats partial true partial an excuse. But if hes angry i expect it, so i just leave be mostly chat rarely. I would like to work this out and I have expressed that to him at one point.. maybe i scared him off cause he ignores me a lot.. he says that "he doesnt want anything because he is burned". I am going on vacation to his area for thanksgiving and I asked him how he feels about coffee and he says he can do coffee. The hotels were too expensive about 100-200 a night and so I told him if u want to see me then I need a place to stay for the week.. and he said you can stay here. I hope that didnt put to much pressure... I would like to talk about this in person cause far away isnt going to help anything. Plus even if we did get back.. and he knows this we have to fill the gap of distance to make this work better.. six years is to long distant but i also understand it would have to go slow and it doesnt start where it left off thats fine for me again its really up to him at this point so far looks Dim. But he may still just say he doesnt want anything.. The coffee discussion was strange because I said well il lstay on the couch and its just to have fun and enjoy my time there.. and we can talk. And I said so its just coffee.. and he said well im sure it can be coffee and more.. but i quickly said well there is no sexual matters at this time he said well just dont expect much at first when u first come right but im sure itll get better.. i dunno... what to think here but hes back to ignoring me since this convo... What do you guys think here?? What can I do at this point? I am just trying to be friendly now.. and not pressured, but is the visit to much.. I do want his happiness and I am ok if things never work out.. I do admit though that I love this man and I have evaluated everything and still feel that this man is a good pick for me and the future.. if of course he felt the same. Again he does say he doesnt want anything ....I am respecting this and even if i go and hear the same thing I am respecting it.. but is it so bad to try.. is this to much of a chase... when u really believe in someone and believe in what u share..
BackonTrack Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 I briefly skimmed through your post but you called him the wrong name? The only time that has happen to me was when my ex girlfriend was confused and was having sex with someone else. Are you cheatting on him? It also appears that you are viewing him as a male as opposed to the person whom you love? Looks like at the time of the breakup, you were neglecting him and as he said, he felt burned as as if you were treating him like a doormat. I don't think you realize what you have done but you appear to realize that you want him but your not going ALL OUT FOR HIM. Doesn't look like you have much hope for the situtation either. The best thing you can do is play it cool and be nice to him and show him that u love him. Maybe bring a present or something, keep the conversation light and let him lead. Not sure what else to say, nothing much you can do until you see him face-to-face. I don't think the meeting is TOO much if he agrees to it. Seems he is UPSET at you for whatever unkown reason. OR, you can try to lure him back to a place and have sex with him. Not much I can really offer here in terms of advice, maybe the bridged is already to badly damaged for a reconiliation to take place, who knows but I'm just a outsider looking at the situtation.
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