nama Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 Hello all, I've been stuck in a rut for a few years now; no real love life, career not taking off and just being generally frustrated and angry with life. I seem to constantly be moaning but not doing much. Also I'm very stuck in my ways and have no idea how i can get out of this. I can be very laid back and for some reason laid back in the areas i shouldn't be i.e. my career and i suppose secretely think that everything will work out somehow and land on my lap. On the other hand i'm very uptight, i refuse to change/ be flexible and see that things can be grey instead of just black and white. I want things to be my way. I can be very controlling maybe because i think i have no control over my life - it just seems to be spiralling out of control! Has anyone been in a similar position?? Or is/ was controlling but handling it?? Please help!??!??!
Geishawhelk Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 Sounds like you don't know whether you're coming, going, been, gone or went! I know it seems a bit daft, but maybe you need to find a counsellor and dig and delve as to why you seem intent on scuppering your own success.... you need to try to establish why you want what you want, why you don't want what you don't want, and where the two meet, and clash. Yes? I sure as heck have noooo idea!
Trialbyfire Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 If you're stuck in a dead-end job, are there courses you can take to improve your situation? How about looking for another job in the same industry but with a competitor? You spend 8+ hours doing something that must be mundane by now so why settle for that? As for being controlling in your private life, now that you realize it, can you not stop doing it when you catch yourself? Everyone is controlling to a degree unless they're true submissives. Having said that, true submissives use passive-aggressive means to control. Is there a way to focus that aspect of yourself by finding an intensely challenging sport or hobby? This way, you can bleed off extra energy, while still getting your way through a creation of a set goal.
SushiX Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 This reminds me of my friend who smokes weed all day and is super lazy. He complains all the time about how ****ty his life is and that he'll one day find that perfect girl and become rich just like that. I'm not quite sure how this is gonna happen for him if he doesn't get off his behind and do something about it..
Mr. Lucky Posted October 14, 2008 Posted October 14, 2008 As other have pointed out, I think we often undermine our own success because failure is comfortable. It doesn't challenge or ask much of us and doesn't bring the scary changes that success does. What if you do succeed in your field or job? You might get promoted or find a new position that may require a tougher aplication of your skills. What if you do meet the right person? They may have their own demands and a successful relationship will bring its own issues. You don't want any of those kinds of problems, right? Mr. Lucky
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