idiot Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 It's been almost 2 months since we broke up and there were no contact for 5 weeks until i sent her a message to ask how is she doing. She said that she just got out of a hospital because she had a epilepsy seizure which she has never had before. Well, week later i txt her again to ask if she knows why she got that seizure and she said it was stress related. I replied asking what she had been stressed for and she said that "things have changed". So i figured that she probably still have some feelings toward me even though she hasn't contacted me for the whole time. Then we continue to txt and she says that "she doesn't know why she freaks out sometimes ( i mean getting really angry because of some minor thing and breaking up with me ) and that it doesn't matter because she don't want to get back together." ( and i've heard that "i don't want to get back together" line from her so often that i've lost count. ) Then we wish each other all the best and i thought that would be the end of it. I thought i was healing pretty well. cause even when she said that she doesn't want to get back together it didn't hurt as much as it had hurt before. For the first time since we get to know each other i could just let it be and not try to "win her back". I even noticed that hours have passed without me thinking about her. Of course i missed every day but it was slowly but surely fading away. That was until last saturday when went to a bar with my brother. almost as soon as i got there my brother said to me "guess who just came in". I was devastated, all those feelings came rushing back. She acted like i wasn't there. I got pretty drunk and talked to many girls just to get my thought out of her. it worked kinda well for a while until i realized that i didn't care at all what the girls thought about me, ( which is good but i'm usually very shy and have trouble talking to a decent looking girls ) but not that night. I even talked to one girl that i had huge crush on when i was teen ( not that i'm very mature now.. i'm 21) and while we talked she just seemed ****ing annoying. i dont even know why. few years ago i would have given my left arm to be with her. There were not a single girl in that bar who i found interesting. I didn't have a clue that i was still so attached to my ex. well anyway at one point my ex did say hi and that was it. Now i'm feeling worse than ever. I don't know what has happened to me. I just think about her all the time and ask myself the same questions over and over. "she must still have feelings for me. why would she have had that seizure if she didn't?" I'm so confused at the moment i don't know what to do. Nothing seems to make any sense.
Geishawhelk Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 Put yourself in your best friend's shoes. What would he say to you.... Something along the lines of.... "man you are being such a jerk! This was over so long ago, man! Why are you doing this to yourself!? you gotta stop, man, this is just crazy! You're killing yourself, and for what? Young love is just young love! Snap out of it, and live a little, huh?" ....maybe? I'd do as he says. Wise friend you've got there...
Author idiot Posted October 6, 2008 Author Posted October 6, 2008 Put yourself in your best friend's shoes. What would he say to you.... Something along the lines of.... "man you are being such a jerk! This was over so long ago, man! Why are you doing this to yourself!? you gotta stop, man, this is just crazy! You're killing yourself, and for what? Young love is just young love! Snap out of it, and live a little, huh?" ....maybe? I'd do as he says. Wise friend you've got there... I agree. But i just can't get those thoughts out of my head. If common sense would rule over my feelings i would know what to do but now no amount of reasoning does make me feel any better. :S And it pisses me off that she can just turn her emotions off. She was/is my first love and i was hers so maybe it didn't even had a chance. It just doesn't make any sense that all was supposed to be good and then she just snaps when i say something wrong and everything is over.
ed-205 Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 I've had a few "Girlfriends" like this. Knowing what I know now, I'd stay as far away from them as possible, even to the point of leaving the bar if I saw them come in, and *NEVER* answering the phone if I suspected one of them was trying to call me. Breaking up over something trivial is seldom the real reason, just a convenient way of breaking up without disclosing the *real* reason, which in her case could be just about anything. If she's having stress related seizures, she's obviously got problems you don't need to deal with - Get over it, and move on with your life.
alwayssme Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 so many people hurting over love, it sucks. haha i wish we could just go out, have fun and forget about our ex'es who crushed our hearts:p...
sacg Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 You can, thats just the point, your really can, it's UP TO YOU! they are............
Crazy.S Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 nothing to be confused about. it takes time to get over the ex. yeah you could go out and try to have fun, but we all know in the end of the night it doesn't change anything
Author idiot Posted October 7, 2008 Author Posted October 7, 2008 I've had a few "Girlfriends" like this. Knowing what I know now, I'd stay as far away from them as possible, even to the point of leaving the bar if I saw them come in, and *NEVER* answering the phone if I suspected one of them was trying to call me. Breaking up over something trivial is seldom the real reason, just a convenient way of breaking up without disclosing the *real* reason, which in her case could be just about anything. If she's having stress related seizures, she's obviously got problems you don't need to deal with - Get over it, and move on with your life. That was the first time that she got any seizure and since she is not in school and works maybe once or twice per week, i really can't figure out any other reason to the seizure than us breaking up. I just want to know why she is acting the way she is. No way she would break up and get back together so many times unless she has feelings. Her father and mother broke up when she was a baby and she is very rarely in any contact with her father. on the other hand she is very attached to her mother. I mean she does almost nothing without asking her mother first. I don't mean that her mother is controlling or anything. Maybe it is just waste of my time trying to figure out why she acts the way she does. But i want to know the real reason. I just want to have some peace of mind! so many people hurting over love, it sucks. haha i wish we could just go out, have fun and forget about our ex'es who crushed our hearts:p... indeed. but as always it's easier said than done... And you wouldn't be hurting unless there were something good in your relationship, even if it lasted only for a short time and the rest of the R was crap. not really helpful... You can, thats just the point, your really can, it's UP TO YOU! they are............ they are what? nothing to be confused about. it takes time to get over the ex. yeah you could go out and try to have fun, but we all know in the end of the night it doesn't change anything Exactly and that is depressing, knowing that no matter what you do, in the end it doesn't make you feel any better. Only time will do that and that sucks... you might have fun for a moment but when that ends, you're just going to fall back down.
Sysyphus28 Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 It is a waste of time to figure out "why she acts the way she does". All of these folks have people that turned off their emotional faucets..........while our own were still dripping. I am hurting along with everyone here, and it is exciting to face the pain with a whole group of people rather than do it alone. I've done it alone before, and I felt .........I am the only person who feels this intense love....know one knows my pain. I would call and leave a message for an ex........."baby, remember what we had....or remember the time we.........or don't you care anymore....you said," blah, blah, blah) It was awful! How bout writing a poetic letter and thinking that they are going to get it and run back to you......... HERE IT IS They are either coming back or not(prob not) and the only way to take the ball and put it in your court is NC. Thats it. You don't have to pussyfoot around another persons terms of your contact or relationship. You make the terms.
Author idiot Posted October 7, 2008 Author Posted October 7, 2008 I don't know if she would come back or not. She has come back always before. If this was the first time that she brokes up with me i would take it more seriously. Only thing what makes this time different from the others is that i stopped contacting her. I think that her breaking up with me is to boost her ego when i beg her back and when i didn't she had that seizure. Anyway, there should be no reason for me to love her. But i do and that makes this whole situation hard. I feel so empty without her even when things were far from perfect..
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