Author Bufzookie Posted October 17, 2008 Author Posted October 17, 2008 Today I decided I wanted to get a few things for my New house. Its really bare in here so I thought I would buy some curtains and a few little things to make it look more like a home! Doing that really made me feel good. It took to me to another plan of comfort because I just wanted everything to be nice. I cleaned all around the house and fixed up a beautiful shelf full of things of my Mother. Then I went out to Wal-mart and had some pictures I had of her copies and enlarged so that I could make a wall hanging of her. It came out really nice. I have it hanging over my fireplace right now. She was so beautiful. There are so many things I think about when I look at a picture of her, I just want to hug her. Have her brush my hair (even though she pulled my hair a lot!) and to have her call me La-la and ask me to sing to her. I'm not very close to my Dad and no one in my family seems to connect with one another, so I'm all alone in my thoughts. My husband can't even give me comfort. Its been really hard. I know men are not emotional creatures, but I expect him to be available to me at this very hard time in my life. He asks like I want him to fix everything, when obviously, he can't bring my mother back, but I ask very little from him actually. Its very taxing to ask him to write me a nice email, it never seems to happen. He's off in his own world. He leaves for iraq soon and expects me to just understand that he is busy and doesn't have time for my "emotional needs". He even told me that I shouldn't sit here and feel sorry for myself because it doesn't get anything accomplished. so yeah, I'm trying my best. Its only been 5 weeks since she died. I'm overwhelmed!
Author Bufzookie Posted October 23, 2008 Author Posted October 23, 2008 I'm making a trip up to my Mom's masolium to leave her a flower and a birthday card. Her birthday is Halloween. She would have been 45. Anyways, I'm not sure if anyone reads my post anymore....if you do, Light a candle for her on her birthday if you want.
JamesM Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 We do read your posts. I extend my sympathy to you in this difficult time. Her birthday will bring up many memories again. My wife also turned 45 this month. I can only imagine the pain you and you family are enduring at this time. May God give you the strength to carry on.
Author Bufzookie Posted October 25, 2008 Author Posted October 25, 2008 Well, I'm driving up to the masolium tomorrow morning to visit my Mom. I bought a beautiful birthday card for her. I wish she was hear to read it..... On top of feeling very emotional over my mom...I haven't hurd from my husband since he got to kuwait...thats his stop before Iraq. I'm really worried and man oh man to i feel lonley. I want to be able to talk to him and tell him that I'm having a hard time and that I miss him.
Angel1111 Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 Aw, sweetie, you're having such a bad time right now. I'm so sorry. I know there's nothing any of us can say to make it all better but we're here to listen. Hugs.
Author Bufzookie Posted October 31, 2008 Author Posted October 31, 2008 My Mom's Birthday is tomorrow. Halloween.......she would have been 45.
Recommended Posts