Vertex Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 Despite having gone through hundreds of profiles, I'm getting extremely frustrated. It seems like 50% of them don't know how to string together a simple sentence. Everything's crammed with run-ons, horrifying grammar, and piss-poor spelling. Within the other 50%, about 75% of those don't look physically attractive at all to me. Finally, within that small subset, even fewer seem like they'd be compatible. A fair number of the ads also have either double-postings with contradictory information, or misleading stats. Too many liars. Is it really asking too much to find a cute, intelligent woman who's honest, open, interesting, and thoughtful? Am I demanding the impossible? Am I just suffering the same fate as Sisyphus, here?
Javelin Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 Despite having gone through hundreds of profiles, I'm getting extremely frustrated. It seems like 50% of them don't know how to string together a simple sentence. Everything's crammed with run-ons, horrifying grammar, and piss-poor spelling. Within the other 50%, about 75% of those don't look physically attractive at all to me. Finally, within that small subset, even fewer seem like they'd be compatible. A fair number of the ads also have either double-postings with contradictory information, or misleading stats. Too many liars. Is it really asking too much to find a cute, intelligent woman who's honest, open, interesting, and thoughtful? Am I demanding the impossible? Am I just suffering the same fate as Sisyphus, here? You're not looking in the right places.
RecordProducer Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 I feel the same when browsing the dating sites. Most people I don't like physically at all, not because they are not handsome, but because I can tell by their faces that they lack, for example, warmth or depth or kindness. But I am mostly disappointed by the essays. I want to get a feel of who the person behind the words is - not to find out that he likes a good meal with a good glass of wine (duh!) or a romantic walk in the moonlight (from the restaurant to the car). And if I read once again how much his family means to him and how he wants to meet that special someone to make his complete life even more complete, I think I'll throw up.
Konfuzion Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 Everything's crammed with run-ons, horrifying grammar, and piss-poor spelling. My spelling, and grammar are crap but that is not a sign of intellect. I was in France for ages 10-16 and missed a lot of basic English and math. Anyway just an FYI, you may not want to assume things about people based on that
RecordProducer Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 My spelling, and grammar are crap but that is not a sign of intellect. I was in France for ages 10-16 and missed a lot of basic English and math. Anyway just an FYI, you may not want to assume things about people based on that They don't have math in France?
sultry33 Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 My spelling, and grammar are crap but that is not a sign of intellect. I was in France for ages 10-16 and missed a lot of basic English and math. Anyway just an FYI, you may not want to assume things about people based on that My thoughts exactly.. damn my computer misses letters all the time. Just look at DRS handwriting:laugh:
sultry33 Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 Despite having gone through hundreds of profiles, I'm getting extremely frustrated. It seems like 50% of them don't know how to string together a simple sentence. Everything's crammed with run-ons, horrifying grammar, and piss-poor spelling. Within the other 50%, about 75% of those don't look physically attractive at all to me. Finally, within that small subset, even fewer seem like they'd be compatible. A fair number of the ads also have either double-postings with contradictory information, or misleading stats. Too many liars. Is it really asking too much to find a cute, intelligent woman who's honest, open, interesting, and thoughtful? Am I demanding the impossible? Am I just suffering the same fate as Sisyphus, here? There must be some that seem ok? maybe just go on a whim.. talk online for a bit as friends only or chat only instead of having high expectaions. We all have our pet peves etc and not everyone will tick every box . Online profiles are not the easiest thing to do:) Life should be fun not an essay. x
Javelin Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 They don't have math in France? They've never made a decent super car, so I'd say their math skills are pretty sub par, but they can make a mean soufflé. I kid, I kid!
Bells Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 Within the other 50%, about 75% of those don't look physically attractive at all to me. That's probably 90% part of the problem there.....no offense to you personally or not saying you're like this, but alot of people online are extremely shallow. I've actually seen quite a few women "update" their profile out of frustration due to the kind of men emailing them. They'd say, "Okay, perhaps I should even be MORE clear with what I'm looking for, I prefer someone who is 6 feet or taller, full head of hair, <insert more superficial unrealistic list of expectations here> You'd be suprised how many local women who are veterans in online dating.....you'd be suprised how many of the same faces I see come up in my search that have been there forever...of course these women had rejected ME already, and...suprise suprise 2 years later, they still are on there....I often wonder if they ever leave their homes. Ocassionaly, about 6 months to a year later, I 'd email them again...to see if they'd change their mind or something...but eh...they are still stuck in their ways. And chances are these "veteran" men/women will be single forever. IT's kind of a hint that will be the case.
Shygirl15 Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 I agree with Bells. Looks like there are no more new people with 30 miles of my zipcode. Same boring people I rejected the last time my profile was active(January), are sending winks and boring emails all over again , like I'm a new person. Is it true that they don't recognize me? Or they just too busy sending out winks and template emails without paying too much attention? Some would say be sarcastic and say "welcome back, so looks like it didn't work out the first time. Do I still stand a chance?". Well, sorry but you don't. My selection criterias are still the same. Sorry but poor grammar is such a turn off; to me it says a lot about someone's level of intelligence and education.
Bells Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 I agree with Bells. Looks like there are no more new people with 30 miles of my zipcode. Same boring people I rejected the last time my profile was active(January), are sending winks and boring emails all over again , like I'm a new person. Is it true that they don't recognize me? Or they just too busy sending out winks and template emails without paying too much attention? Some would say be sarcastic and say "welcome back, so looks like it didn't work out the first time. Do I still stand a chance?". Well, sorry but you don't. My selection criterias are still the same. Sorry but poor grammar is such a turn off; to me it says a lot about someone's level of intelligence and education. I figured you'd have more to choose from in DC. lol The thing is, the only thing that sets me apart from the gentlemen that elicit poor grammar and boring emails is that I do display a form of intelligence that above a packrat. lol. My area there's alot of rednecks and half-toothless people, not to sound conceited or anything, but sometimes I consider myself the cream of the crop in my neck the woods. lol Though, overall I would consider myself an average Joe, I am college educated, and actually do care about my dates when I'm well, dating them. So I don't know if it's the quality of men that are emailing you or something, but from the sounds of it, I sound rather different from them, so perhaps I would be the exception to the rule.
Shygirl15 Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 So I don't know if it's the quality of men that are emailing you or something, but from the sounds of it, I sound rather different from them, so perhaps I would be the exception to the rule. I bet they feel the same way..lol:laugh:
Bells Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 I bet they feel the same way..lol:laugh: Not sure what you mean, please explain.
Shygirl15 Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 Not sure what you mean, please explain. What I mean is that they (the men I rejected) probably also feel the same way you do; that they're different/exception to the rule. You can't be a judge of your own self.
Bells Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 What I mean is that they (the men I rejected) probably also feel the same way you do; that they're different/exception to the rule. You can't be a judge of your own self. Well, that can be true, but I do have friends that can say the same about me....that I have alot to offer a woman. I even have a female friend tell me that I am the kind of guy you can bring home to mom and dad. I would think having character witnesses would account for something. Kind of like the matrix, you can't just be TOLD about it.... you have to see it for yourself.
Shygirl15 Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 Well, that can be true, but I do have friends that can say the same about me....that I have alot to offer a woman. I even have a female friend tell me that I am the kind of guy you can bring home to mom and dad. Why are you still single, then?
Art_Critic Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 Are you on POF ?.. I would suggest trying a different dating site.. If it is free then I would say you get what you pay for.. but on the same token EH is pretty expensive and you really don't get your money's worth. the other thing you need to do is apply time to it all.. put down the online dating for a month or so if you get tired of it and then pick it back up... I have seen cycles of when people sign up.. there are times that nobody good is online dating.. like around Christmas time for example.. People just remove their profiles because who wants to deal with onlone dating during the holidays... Remember to apply time.. I once went 4 months without finding a single date on match ( I was busy and tired of dating and the people just weren't responding right..).. then I had 3 in 2 weeks.. and then boom a relationship that lasted a year.. You can't just put up a profile and search for 48 hours and expect to hook a guy or girl either.. it takes time to find the right person... Good Luck in your search
Konfuzion Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 They don't have math in France? Yeah they have math in France, but when you study only French for 2 years you kinda miss that.
Bells Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 Why are you still single, then? Why are YOU still single? lol Actually, there's a book on that called "If you're so wonderful, then why are you still single" Maybe that will answer our situation.
Shygirl15 Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 Why are YOU still single? lol Actually, there's a book on that called "If you're so wonderful, then why are you still single" Maybe that will answer our situation. No rush. I divorced less than a year ago. At least I have had that kind of long-term commitment with someone in my life. What about you?
Bells Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 No rush. I divorced less than a year ago. At least I have had that kind of long-term commitment with someone in my life. What about you? Same here. Though it's been a dry spell...as we all go through But I'm sure that does not mean anything.
D-Jam Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 I hate when people ask the "so why are you still single then?" question. I've had it asked to me many times before I met my current GF. Let's face it, I myself, or Bells, or Shygirl could be absolutely wonderful "on paper", but it's no guarantee that suddenly we'll have possible mates coming out of the woodwork for us. With most women I met in the past, I might have been seen as decent looking, charming, sweet, good job, stable life, etc...but I didn't have that "x-factor" that drove those women wild inside thinking "I MUST HAVE HIM". Yes most of these women found that "x-factor" in guys who didn't have stable lives and/or never treated a woman well to begin with. Looking past that, I still think nowadays too many people have their standards set unreasonably high, and guys like myself and Bells are the ones who end up chronically single because of this. I don't know about Bells, but this is why in my 30s I didn't take all this marriage, love, dating, and relationship stuff seriously. Why I found a happy balance in life if I ended up alone. Why I even chuckled inside at all the women I came across who keep ranting about how they want a decent good man, but yet they still never saw that in me, and yet think they can pull it out of someone who is far from that. I tell guys like Bells he's better off single and alone if the women around him can't seem to grow up and realize that "good decent man" doesn't come packaged as "exciting wild hot guy". In Shygirl's case, I don't know what her situation is. I don't know if her standards are realistic or not. I don't know if she's a bad boy chaser or just had some actual bad luck. I'd only tell her if it seems every guy she finds attractive ends up being someone bad for her, then maybe it's time to think outside of her usual standards. In the end though with so many MEN and WOMEN (not playing favorites) running around looking for echelons of mates they honestly can't get, looking for standards that are too high, and rejecting so many possible decent people because they can't get past themselves...asking "so why are you single?" is pointless. Some are the people who seem to think they can always do better or they don't know what they want...but many more are just the rejected who usually end up making someone a wonderful husband or wife when someone looks past many of the things that would make the "picker" truly shallow. All I seem to see out there are people who think no one is good enough for them, and many more who seem to be constantly rejected because they aren't David Beckham or Adriana Lima...but aren't quasimodo.
Bells Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 Looking past that, I still think nowadays too many people have their standards set unreasonably high, and guys like myself and Bells are the ones who end up chronically single because of this Great response! I was going to wait for a response like D Jam's I classify 2 types of single people 1. The ones D Jam just described...the single people with unrealistic expectations ie - must be 6 feet tall, must have all their hair, must have big boobs, must have this, must have that, I heard some woman was turned off by a guy who put on his seatbelt. lol..it's ridiculous!.... 2. And people like me (and D Jam) who MEET these people in #1) That's basically it. So, I'm saying, I'm single only because I meet those single people portrayed in #1. And, unfortunately, there are ALOT Of them...ESP when it comes to ONLINE dating.
4dviceJunki3 Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 I hate when people ask the "so why are you still single then?" question. I've had it asked to me many times before I met my current GF. Let's face it, I myself, or Bells, or Shygirl could be absolutely wonderful "on paper", but it's no guarantee that suddenly we'll have possible mates coming out of the woodwork for us. With most women I met in the past, I might have been seen as decent looking, charming, sweet, good job, stable life, etc...but I didn't have that "x-factor" that drove those women wild inside thinking "I MUST HAVE HIM". Yes most of these women found that "x-factor" in guys who didn't have stable lives and/or never treated a woman well to begin with. Looking past that, I still think nowadays too many people have their standards set unreasonably high, and guys like myself and Bells are the ones who end up chronically single because of this. I don't know about Bells, but this is why in my 30s I didn't take all this marriage, love, dating, and relationship stuff seriously. Why I found a happy balance in life if I ended up alone. Why I even chuckled inside at all the women I came across who keep ranting about how they want a decent good man, but yet they still never saw that in me, and yet think they can pull it out of someone who is far from that. Dude, are you me? I swear I feel as if I'm on your end typing because my perspectives are exactly like yours. To begin with, I wouldn't say it's the best choice to base someone's personality and their lifestyle based on how they write on the Internet. I mean this is the Internet, people try to get cute at times or comfortable when typing and could care less about their grammar and what not. I just would say that isn't the best approach to finding someone who you think you would be compatible with online. As for D-Jam, boy do I feel the same way? I'm only 24 years old but the women I've come across in my life can really turn a straight man gay. What I mean is that there are a lot of people out there that say that they seek personality in a person but yet will never give you the time of day because you don't meet their physical expectations. I myself don't consider myself a bad looking person because I've had my share of compliments and I also consider myself a very optimistic/positive person who's got somewhat of a thing going for myself. I hold a bachelor's degree and plan on going for my masters as well. I have nothing but good intent behind my actions and just to find someone who I can "give the world to"; however, I still tend to have trouble finding my significant other because the women I meet either are gold diggers, like to play guys, like to just have someone to only party with, have nothing going for themselves, or just have absolutely no character or class. And honestly, I'm not a picky person because I'm very open to meeting new people, especially outside of my culture. It could seriously just be the city I live in but I am yet to find that out. For me, I don't think online dating cuts it. Reason being is because you get these people who lie so much in their profiles (some who take those lies to the grave with them) and you just don't feel you're really meeting or reading about the person they truly are. Now, this is simply just my opinion on this and I really haven't given online dating that much of a chance but the amount of time I did put into it, that's what I got out of it. My preferred way of meeting someone is usually through mutual friends and what not. I cannot go to a bar or a club to meet a girl because you just get bad apples out of the bunch, at least here in Hollywood, CA you do, hehe! The majority of women here are into what kind of car you drive, or if you have your own place, or how much money you bring in, how good looking you are, etc. Overall, I personally think that online dating sites will find you no one. Or may find you somebody for a short period of time but then certain characteristics about the person will surface and you won't like what you're dealing with.
Author Vertex Posted October 6, 2008 Author Posted October 6, 2008 Sorry but poor grammar is such a turn off; to me it says a lot about someone's level of intelligence and education. I agree. I'm sorry if it's somehow shallow of me, but I want my ideal mate to at least be smart enough to have a profile that is readable -- someone who takes it seriously and wants to put their best impression forward. Given my personality type, I am just not going to find the kind of deep, intellectual conversation and compatible personality that I want from someone if they speak like "i think the bar scene is to skethy now i want a real man who knows how too treat a lady DONT WASTE MY TIME!!!!" Art: It's a service I actually paid for. I'm really upset that I did. I've been using it on and off for about a month. There was one girl who seemed to match pretty well, but then when we got to the emailing stage, *all* she did is ask what I could buy for her if we went out on a date. Clearly just after money. It's not like I'm after some supermodel -- I just don't want someone I'm not attracted to at all, and I think that's a fair statement to make. If it's considered shallow to want someone who is intelligent and caring... then that's a little disheartening. I'd consider it to be settling if I lowered my standards below those fundamental levels.
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