10000BC Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Hi all I'm quite new to this site but recently I have been quite disappointed by people at my university, whom for the most part come from conservative WASP backgrounds. There is nothing wrong with it, but I feel like because I'm not white, I'm automatically at a disadvantage. No wait, I don't feel, I know, because it can't any more evident. Let me explain it further. I'm 6'1'', athletic built, Asian, play musical instruments, speak 3 languages fluently (mandarin, French, English), and a little Spanish and German. With a very good finance job I worked very hard to get, good marks in school, likes to party, dress pretty well...etc, but it still seems that the vast majority of white girls here assign me to the backburner. (my school is 90% white) Even though I don't have any of those stereotypical traits. I mean, I have facial hair, non-slanty eyes...etc The Asian girls at my university are mostly into 2 groups. The newcomers from Asia I don't connect to at all. And the 2nd group mainly just stick together and do everything together, and just study. Therefore, I don't really fit in their groups either. I do like black and latin women as well, but my school has like 10 in total. The girls I have dated are all from Latin countries or grew up mostly in European countries. I didn't act any different with them but unlike many people here who seem to judge me first, they saw me a who I was. I had wonderful, fulfilling relationships with them - learning new languages, and new cultures, and improving in the sack of course! With girls here, many I've found out have found me attractive after a little bit, but will still not date me. One recent example: One girl who had a secret crush on me actually rejected me, saying she can't because of her family/religion. Others have told me they don't have anything against mixed couples, but they'd never do it themselves. (Some also said interracial couples aren't good). Some girls would just hookup, but never date... At parties, usually, I'm far more confident and sociable than my avg looking white friends, but they usually end up with a girl's number, and rarely me. (In Western Europe, it was much different, I was actually treated more as an equal in most cases). With each passing day, I am getting more and more disappointed in North America. When would people have the courage to do what is being unreasonably looked down on in society? When can this race-bull**** end?
norajane Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Where is your school? You'd likely have better luck in larger cities where the population itself is quite diverse, or more at more diverse schools. At my university, for example, you'd have been quite popular with women of all races. You'd be required, however, to be intellectually challenging by those women.
Author 10000BC Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 really, which university or city was that in? I come from a university in Canada. It is located in a small town. Good academics, but very un-diverse.
norajane Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 My university is in Chicago. NY, LA, San Francisco, Seattle...those kinds of places are more open to multi-racial, multi-cultural relationships. Small towns where everyone is white, not so much, no.
sweetnlow Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 I think most multi-racial relationships stem from a foundation of friendship. You should seek to make friends with these girls first, slowly reveal all your wonderful traits and you will most probably find they will quickly forget any superficial worries regarding your ethnicity. I'm currently dating an Asian guy. If he'd approached me directly, I would probably would have been put off by the fact that he wasn't white (I'd never dated between races before, would have worried about cultural/religious differences and hate to say it, but would have probably held some racial stereotypes). Fact is I met and became friends with him first, then when he asked me out, it wasn't a question of dating an Asian guy it was a question of dating the smart, funny and charming guy I had know up until that point.
Sks Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 I would never have an interest in dating or having intercourse with one who is not of my own skin. If they don't like you, they don't like you - they have no obligation to do anything for you or treat you in any specific way.
Suiyobi Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 I'm 6'1'', athletic built, Asian, play musical instruments, speak 3 languages fluently (mandarin, French, English), and a little Spanish and German. With a very good finance job I worked very hard to get, good marks in school, likes to party, dress pretty well...etc I'm Asian too but damn I wish I had all the other qualities about you. At my school, girls would fall head over heels for a guy like you. Sorry, I don't really have any sound advice but one thing I can say is to just continue to be who you are and eventually some non-Asian girl who you're attracted to will like you back and pursue a relationship with you.
Vertex Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 lol, suiyoubi = wednesday I'm all for interracial relationships. They're so much fun and very interesting.
vonerik012 Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Please do not start playing the race card, lol. They are not attracted to you. And no, many white men and women do not want to have Asian children. That is a preference. Not racism.
Krajt Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Please do not start playing the race card, lol. They are not attracted to you. And no, many white men and women do not want to have Asian children. That is a preference. Not racism. What about Bruce Lee and his wife? I don't promote interracial relationships or denounce them, to be me they're not a big deal and I hate those who like to advertise the fact they're in one just as I dislike the bigots who are against them. I had a brief encounter with a light brown skinned girl from Barbados and she was amazing, and I got used to be being with her and then things didn't materialise any further.
Author 10000BC Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 Lol, Sks, and Veronika... 80 years ago Italians weren't considered to be "white" either in this place (USA and Canada), but look now how many people are part Italian. Eventually you will swallow your words, but until that day, I'm just here to facilitate and speed up social change by convincing people to go for it, and not be limited by social constructs Take my Ex-Gf , who is a gorgeous, tall, natural blonde from Scandinavia with piercing blue eyes. However, the best part was that she was open-minded and didn't care about social 'norms'... PS. For non-blondes, don't worry, I love you guys just as much. And I also like black/hispanic/asian/indian women equally.
Sks Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 What about Bruce Lee and his wife? I don't promote interracial relationships or denounce them, to be me they're not a big deal and I hate those who like to advertise the fact they're in one just as I dislike the bigots who are against them. I had a brief encounter with a light brown skinned girl from Barbados and she was amazing, and I got used to be being with her and then things didn't materialise any further. How is it "bigoted"? I like being white, I want my kids to be white and their kids to be white. I will never hide that. I find the idea of the human species turning into a single homogeneous blob disgusting.
Sks Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Lol, Sks Eventually you will swallow your words, but until that day, I'm just here to facilitate and speed up social change by convincing people to go for it, and not be limited by social constructs I will change nothing, neither will most people. There will always be a few deviates but that will never be a representation of the whole.
Author 10000BC Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 Well, I mean, look, 100 years ago. It was considered just as taboo to date someone who isn't Northern-European/Anglo-Saxon... Meaning a white person from Greece, italy, Eastern Europe, Spain were treated like **** and with contempt because they either had darker skin colors, or because they were considered sub-human inferiors. But look at what happens now. Do you consider an Italian-American marrying an English-American taboo? NO!
Trialbyfire Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Where is your school? You'd likely have better luck in larger cities where the population itself is quite diverse, or more at more diverse schools. At my university, for example, you'd have been quite popular with women of all races. You'd be required, however, to be intellectually challenging by those women. I couldn't agree more. While there are personal preferences for certain looks, I think too many bigots hide behind personal preference. I can't say that all black men are attractive to me but then I find men like Obama, Colin Powell and Denzel Washington attractive. I also can't say that I find all caucasian men attractive. Men like Dennis Miller, Jim Carrey or Drew Carey, no thanks.
D-Lish Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 really, which university or city was that in? I come from a university in Canada. It is located in a small town. Good academics, but very un-diverse. I'm not sure where your uni is in Canada... North Bay??? The Uni I went to was so culturally diverse, and that was 10 years ago, in Ontario at Mcmaster University. I agree with you that Europe is way more socially advanced than North America! I am sorry you are having that experience. Switch Uni's! If you were at UofT or Queens.... it would be a much different story.
Nemo Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Maybe you're just a little too attractive, and all the girls think you're gay. Do you tend to make friends with girls easily?
Nemo Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Isn't Canada also called the Great White North? (For obvious reasons.)
Sks Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 But look at what happens now. Do you consider an Italian-American marrying an English-American taboo? NO! Somewhat but they all have European ancestry and have much closer traits, even then there are plenty of people who have no interest in marrying an Italian. To me the darker a female gets the more unattractive she becomes I also dislike Asian females faces. It would seem to be widely accepted that Northern European females are seen as close to perfection, if they were not they would not be so widely sought after by all races.
Author 10000BC Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 Yes, I do make friends with girls easily. I don't think girls think I'm gay. They pretty much all know I've been with girls...and love women. SKS, does ur name stand for the rifle?
IcemanJB Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Interesting thread. To the OP: some (most?) white girls will automatically not consider you the date-able type right away. That's just how it is. That racial "barrier" (used lightly) isn't what it used to be, but it's still there. But I'm a walking example that some people don't care about it. My gf is half Mexican, and I'm as white as they come. Most of her friends aren't white, and I don't think she's ever dated a full white guy before. What I'm trying to say is: So what? If there's attraction there, nothing else should matter. Just keep your head up, the girls aren't all unwilling to cross racial borders.
vonerik012 Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 I think Asians are great people. I think many of the women are gorgeous. I still do not want Asian kids. If that makes me a bigot, then so be it. If an Asian female does not want white or black kids, then so be it. Is she a bigot too?
Nemo Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 , and I'm as white as they come. I've always wanted to meet an albino.
allina Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Move to San Francisco or somewhere culturally open minded. You sound stunning, I'm surprised that your race is holding you back. But I may be a little bias, I had a long and successful relationship with a Chinese-American guy and my current bf is East Indian. Is it possible that maybe your race isn't as big of an issue as you think? Are you a little shy with women?
Lizzie60 Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 I absolutely love other races.. especially black men.. and I've seen stunning asian guys ... I love them all... but I am very much fantasizing about having a black lover.. it's been awhile..
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