SoundTribe Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 I realize that I have already posted but I really want to get everything that I feel about my ex-girlfriend off of my chest. Everybody on these forums gives tremendously helpful advice and I'm trying to forget about her ASAP. There are some things in this story I didn't mention in the previous one that I believe are critical to understand. Lets have a history lesson, on me and my ex's (let's call her Mary) history. We met at the beginning of 9th grade, I was good friends with her best friend (Whom we'll call Jane) and we met through her. Before I began dating Mary, I used to hook up with Jane all through 9th grade. The end of 9th grade grew to a close and I learned that Jane was not returning to my high school the following year. (We went to a prep school, and she didn't make the grades) I started to crush on Mary but her heart was elsewhere at the time. I obsessed over her and felt unrequited love for her throughout 10th grade. She was very attractive and had a guy who she hooked up with who went to a different high school. It was a very painful time, but things changed when I started playing Varsity Soccer. I was a striker and made the prestigious All-State Team as junior year began to close out. Around this time Mary and her hook up had a falling out and stopped seeing each other. I saw this as an opportunity to escape the dreaded friends zone and I succeeded. Mary and I began officially dating that spring and we announced our relationship in April. We took each others virginity in a public park at 2 in the morning. Everything was great. Our relationship flourished and it wasn't long before we began to tell each other that we were going to get married. We named our future children and hung out every single day for the six months. I went on her family vacations and she went on mine. Honest to god, I thought I was one of the lucky few who had found their future wife in high school. Everything was too good to be true, we never fought or anything. This infatuation period lasted approximately 6 months before we began having fights. These fights were rarely bad ones, and in the case that they were, we would always apologize and hug each other. We had mastered the art of compromise and had few problems. A turning point came on NYE of that year. Mary was in Africa with her family and my parents wouldn't allow me to go with her because of the cost and so I went to a party at a girls house (who we will call Jess) and ended up spending the night there. I flirted a little bit with the other female guests but nothing transpired. I ended up spending the night in the same room with another girl and one of my friends. Mary called Jess and asked how NYE was, and Jess told Mary that I had been flirting about and that I spent the night in a room with another girl and my friend. For the first time, Mary's jealousy surfaced. She felt hurt, betrayed and cried. I couldn't believe it. I had done absolutely nothing! Yet she was still hurt by this. Mary's friends were surprised by this and were shocked at her psychotic behavior. As a result, Mary's friends distanced themselves from her and I soon became Mary's only friend at our school. Next comes the dependence stage. Mary became absolutely 100% dependent on me from January 2008 until the last week of our relationship in early September. It went from being cute to being downright scary. She had gone from this confident popular girl to this insecure one who couldn't let me out of her sight. She made me wait on her everyday after class, and I did it. My friends made fun of me, but in my eyes, Mary was the girl for me, and even though she was annoying at time, I was willing to look past it because I loved her. Soon however, I fell out of love with her. I still loved her but it wasn't how it had been. And so we had our first break up. I confronted her in the parking lot after school and told her it was over. She began crying hysterically and begged me not to do this to her. I did what I had to do. I told her that we were done and left. (This is a significant moment, because when we broke up in college, she said that after I broke up with her for the first time, she knew that we would never be together forever) In the ensuing weeks Mary was an emotional wreck, she didn't come to school the following Monday or Tuesday and when she finally did, she could barely keep from crying. Everybody knew what had happened (there were only 80 people in our graduating class) and everyone comforted her. The next period we will call the LSD Period. I took LSD over spring break for the first time. (This was a few days after Mary and I had broken up) It completely eroded my mental state and drive and basically "fried" me. But it was my new toy. I had become a druggie. Little did I know that this would eventually lead to my demise. (Which we'll get to later) Anyway, one day after school I was waiting for soccer practice to begin and I was playing basketball in the gym. She came in and talked to me and we played basketball together. We started dating a week later, and got back into a relationship a month later. When we started dating again, I will still iffy about her. I didn't "love her" but I was very attracted to her physically and so I foolishly got back together with her. We had originally applied for separate colleges, but then last minute, she decided to attend the same college as myself. I secretly wanted this but I didn't want to tell her. Anyway, My LSD experimentation continued and I eventually introduced her to the drug. We took it together at the gardens I felt closer to her than I had ever felt in my life. I told her this and she agreed with me. After that day we fell back in love, like we had been when we first entered the relationship. She didn't use LSD again, but I continued. It didn't take long into the summer for me to get bothered by her clingy behavior and so we agreed to only hang out every few days, and that we should hang out with our friends. Mary rekindled her old friendships and started going to parties again, and I did the same with my friends. We would hang out every few days, and we would be that much more excited to see each other. College was approaching and we swore to each other that we would stay faithful. We truly believed nothing would tear us apart and that if we focused, we had what it took to survive college. We were high schoolers in love about to enter the unknown college realm. College orientation began. We began attending a small liberal arts institution with around 1500 students. We agreed that during orientation we would minimize our hanging out time, and try to meet new friends (I suggested this) Everything went well during orientation. Mary decided that she wanted to rush and begged me to rush too, but I declined. The first day of classes was approaching. The next period is where disaster struck. The night of the first day of classes, myself and some friends I had met were playing beer pong in my room. (I know stupid) A muslim "friend" of mine who I had known since 9th grade who we will call "Ahmad" knocked on my door and was startled to see us drinking alcohol. He seemed fine and said he was going to sleep and he left the room. 20 minutes we received another knock. This time it was the campus police. Now at this time I was "****ting my pants" for lack of a better term. Not because there was alcohol in my room, but because I had a small amount of LSD in the room. The cops entered, searched, and they found it. I was handcuffed and as they were bringing me outside, Mary opened my door to see me being escorted out of my room. Mary began crying and called one of her old friends(who had sold me the drug) and began yelling "THEY CAUGHT HIM THEY CAUGHT HIM" while she sobbed into the phone. I had to talk to the Dean of Residential Life that night and needless to say I was in some deep ****. I had to leave campus that night until my classes the next day while they tested to see if the LSD was indeed, LSD. That night I met with Mary at a strip mall near the school, even though I was forbidden to see or communicate with anyone from the school, and we hugged and cried and made love for the last time in my car. This was the last time that Mary loved me. The next week was the worst week of my entire life. I was invited back on campus to go to classes and I was happy to be able to see Mary and my friends again. The night I returned to campus I called Mary to see what was going on, and she said that she was at the apartments painting a sign for rush. She said that she would spend the night in my dorm with me and would call me at 12 am. Something happened that night in those dorms, because she didn't call me, and I eventually did around 2 am. I asked her if she was coming and she said she was too tired. I was angry naturally, I had just been caught with drugs and was likely going to be suspended or possibly expelled. It would have been the least she could do, after all she was my girlfriend. I convinced her to come up. I had previously put glow in the dark stars on the ceiling to surprise her when she came up, but when she did she was angry and in a bad mood. I pointed them out to her to which she remarked "Cool". The week continued. And progressively she began to ignore me. She started ignoring my texts and phone calls. I thought maybe it was because of rush but even at times when she didn't have rush, she said she was doing things with her new friends. She finally agreed to come to dinner with me and it was the worst dinner date ever. She sat there stoic and emotionless the entire time. We didn't touch, and we didn't talk about our relationship. She texted on her phone the entire time. Then the horrible day came. I went to the Deans office and I had been suspended for a year. "****" I thought to myself. I called Mary to meet with her so I could tell her what happened and she said "I'm suppose to meet with my friends soon, can they come too?" And I was absolutely furious that she would ask me this. I was her boyfriend and I was about to get suspended, and she didn't have the decency to meet me alone? Anyway we met alone in the quad and sat at the picnic table. I handed her the document, and she read it. When she finished, her expression didn't change. "That sucks." she remarked. I would have expected a little more from a girlfriend of a year and a half. At this time I began to suspect that she was cheating. I had no hard evidence, but all the signs pointed that she was. She was avoiding me, when she ran into me, we would barely talk. She was always in a rush. It just sucked. The day I moved out, I called her to meet up with her. I accused her of cheating and when I did she swore she hadn't. But then she broke up with me, right as I was about to break up with her. This made me furious. And so I did the absolute worst thing I could have ever done. I threatened to send her nude pictures that she had taken for me back in our infatuation stage to the sororities. She snapped and cried harder and harder than I had ever seen her cry before. She said "Why do you have to hurt me just because I don't love you anymore, Why can't you just respect my decision?" This remark hurt too much to handle. I told her I was sorry. I packed my things and left campus. She said she would call me later that night. She called me and said that she didn't want us to break up completely. She just wanted a "break" I was happy to hear this because i was very much in love with her. She told me she wanted me to get my life together before we saw each other again. I went nuts in anticipation. She would call or text every few days to see how I was doing (I would never call or text her. I didn't want to appear clingy) I genuinely tried to change. I got rid of all my drugs, I got a full time job and was legitimately doing all I could to get her back. Then 2 weeks after our break. I asked her out on a date on the wednesday of that week. And she said she couldn't make it and I asked why. She told me she was going to the beach that weekend with 3 Sigma Nu guys and 2 of her friends. I was crushed. Completely crushed. I felt betrayed beyond belief. I thought to myself, If she's going to the beach with frat guys, does she really have any intention of getting back together with me? I asked her, and she said that she still "didn't know" I had enough. I called her that friday and told her I was done. She didn't seem to care. I was great. But then that Saturday, a picture of her at the mixer showed up on my mini-feed on facebook. The mixer was thursday, when we had agreed to be faithful throughout the break. She was seated in a sigma nu's lap with her arm around him. I confronted her about this and she got angry and insisted that she was just "posing for a picture" I said whatever and I didn't talk to her for a week. This is when I got one of my more crazy ideas. I created a fake facebook girlfriend to make Mary jealous. It worked she became extremely jealous, but I insisted to Mary that I only wanted her, and that the other girl meant nothing to me. Somehow she found out the facebook was fake and she called me to taunt me. I insisted it was real and I told her if she didn't leave me alone I would sent her nude pictures all over college. She became furious and we cursed at each other and basically destroyed our relationship. Then her and my friend began texting and to save my reputation he told her that he had met the facebook girlfriend and that her and i had dated for 2 weeks. Mary was furious and called me but I never picked up. I was determined to not be in contact with her. Those were our last words to each other. I have taken every possible precaution to forget about Mary. I have disbanded my facebook account, blocked her aim, and I have gotten rid of every possession I have that reminds me of her. Everything was going well. I got a full time job and began to play soccer. I was well on the road to getting over her. But then the worst happened. A high school friend (William) who was at the same college as Mary gave me a phone call last night. He told me that Mary was trying to sleep with my former roommate in order to get revenge. Thankfully my roommate was refusing to sleep with her. Regardless it still hurts so much. It hurts worse because she is involved with one of the Sigma Nu guys and now she is trying to get with one of my friends. She was never like this in high school, and now she is becoming a slut. We took each others virginity's and it just hurts that she's throwing herself around like she is. William told me she puts herself out there at all the frat parties and it hurts me so bad to think about it. I was so close to getting over her. I just want to get over her and move on with my life...
Geishawhelk Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 This post is waaaay to long. Really for posts of this kind, you should use your journal. You need to let go, you see.... And hashing and re-hashing over the history is not going to make you really feel any better, or help you get over stuff. In my experience, posts like these aren't cathartic. They just prolong the agony. Truly.
JooLee Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 wow, this is one crazy story.. i really wonder, whats the use of revenge? it wont do anyone good. and its absurd how one moment u can be the closest and loveliest to someone and next you're hating each other's guts. how old are you?
Author SoundTribe Posted October 6, 2008 Author Posted October 6, 2008 i am 18 years old. And I turn 19 in june.
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