foster Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 I keep meeting the wrong women, or at least i think i do. im 34 have a good job been told i am attractive and are very sensitive towards women's and my own feelings! About a year ago i had a really bad relationship, i was treated very badly and haven't quite recovered emotionally yet. What i'm wondering is.... am i the one who screws my relationships up by being to open with them, i tell them if im upset about something, or if i'm having a bad day and arent coping very well, and need a bit of support. When i meet a girl i really like i love spending time with them and telling them how great they are and how they make me feel. but always after i've started telling them i like them and want to spend more time with them they either think they can manipulate the situation and use me as a puppet or they just finish things in a way that makes me think they didnt even care about me in the first place. Is there something wrong with me if i want to settle down have kids and be with the person i love and she loves me equally???
Ocean-Blue Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Is it possible you're unloading too much too soon?
Author foster Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 maybe, but thats who i am, should i change that??
Ocean-Blue Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 maybe, but thats who i am, should i change that?? It depends on what you want. Some people don't like such intensity so quickly. You give me the impression that your expectations come off in waves (perhaps I'm wrong). I have a friend who has the same complaints you do. He has no problem meeting women, it's holding on to them that's a problem for him. He gets attached too quickly and expects too much, too soon. If you think your behaviour is alright for you, there is no need to change it. Then again, if you place your happiness is another's hands, you have to be careful.
Author foster Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 thanks i think yr totally right about me.i do try and back off a bit sometimes but when i really do like the girl i think its nice to tell her how good she makes me feel. do some women like this? if they do then how the hell do i find these kind of women?
Yamaha Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Telling a women you like them lots to soon makes them uncomfortable and if they don't feel the same and makes you look needy. Look for signs they feel the same as you before you go opening up your heart. It will save you pain and you will avoid the ones that just want to manipulate you or use you.
Ocean-Blue Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 thanks i think yr totally right about me.i do try and back off a bit sometimes but when i really do like the girl i think its nice to tell her how good she makes me feel. do some women like this? if they do then how the hell do i find these kind of women? It's a fine balance, foster. Some might tell you to go ahead and lay it all out on the table. Others will tell you to play it cool and let them come to you. You have to decide what you are comfortable with. Don't play mind games, but don't be her little puppy dog, starving for affection. So you want to attract the kind of woman that will reciprocate, feelings wise, right? I'm not really sure how you'd go about "finding" such a person. Perhaps your time might be better used working on yourself? I know it sounds cliche, but the more you work on yourself and love yourself, the less you will "need" a woman to "complete" you (which, from what you've written, is what I suspect you are looking for). Women are drawn to men that seem to have it together. They are drawn to men who, at first, don't seem to need them. These are the coveted men (some might disagree with me, but I think it's fairly true based on my personal observations). Obviously, you want to form a solid bond with some over time. It's great to want this...BUT do not go seeking it right off the bat. To be honest, it's a turn off. Focus on YOU, foster. Everything else will fall into place.
Trialbyfire Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 There's a difference between someone who needs you and someone who wants to be with you. People sometimes confuse the two.
melodymatters Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Every single relationship that meant anything to me, started out quickly. It seemed like both parties were of the mind that It's rare to find somoene you click with this well, so why waste time and play games ? having said that, try and keep your pace "even" with the woman you are seeking. Good luck !
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