Bells Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Okay, there's this rather attractive woman that I know....when shes out and about she does, indeed have about 3 or 4 men kind of hovering around her, each one taking turns at trying to talk to her. I feel like Eddie Murphy in Beverly Hills Cop who said, "Whose the popular blonde?!" Next time she talks to me she goes, "These guys make me feel uncomfortable, they are so....'up in your face' wanting to talk to you." I've seen it...heck, some of these guys don't know what to say to her, so they just stand there lookin' at her while some other guy talks. She says I make her feel comfortable....so I guess I'm doing something right. lol. Anyways, I got an email from her the other night stating she had to deal with some peeping tom that turned out to be prowler around where she lived at her home. She didn't get to bed until 3 am. Now, I did believe her, not sure if she would lie about something like that.....but is it possible that this woman is so....well...stuck on herself....that she deludes herself like this?? That she thinks she's "All that" to the point where she has a peeping tom? Or...is it possible that a VERY attractive woman have to deal with fighting men off of her? Apparently , from the sounds of it...she gets way too much attention from men oggling her. But is it possible? Also, could this be a dangerous woman...could she be one of those women that calls cops on guys that are perfectly innocent. He's ugly, call the cops. He's cute....I'll do him!! Anyone?
Geishawhelk Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Okay, there's this rather attractive woman that I know....when shes out and about she does, indeed have about 3 or 4 men kind of hovering around her, each one taking turns at trying to talk to her. ....Next time she talks to me she goes, "These guys make me feel uncomfortable, they are so....'up in your face' wanting to talk to you." I've seen it...heck, some of these guys don't know what to say to her, so they just stand there lookin' at her while some other guy talks. Then you ask..... .....but is it possible that this woman is so....well...stuck on herself....that she deludes herself like this?? ...is it possible that a VERY attractive woman have to deal with fighting men off of her? Apparently , from the sounds of it...she gets way too much attention from men oggling her. But is it possible? Anyone? Yes, it is. If you read the first part of your post, it seems you've answered your own question here....
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 I have had the experience of being stalked, and trust me, it isn't pretty. The reason a person stalks, or prowls, or whatever has nothing to do with the victim and everything to do with his own delusional thinking. So please refrain from blaming this woman for having a prowler. It is not her fault. My question to you is, why does this bother you so much? If she is stuck on herself, don't go out with her. If she isn't, then take a chance. You seem to be really bothered by pretty women who know they are pretty. It is one thing to know what you've got, and another to be arrogant about it.
Author Bells Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 I have had the experience of being stalked, and trust me, it isn't pretty. The reason a person stalks, or prowls, or whatever has nothing to do with the victim and everything to do with his own delusional thinking. So please refrain from blaming this woman for having a prowler. It is not her fault. My question to you is, why does this bother you so much? If she is stuck on herself, don't go out with her. If she isn't, then take a chance. You seem to be really bothered by pretty women who know they are pretty. It is one thing to know what you've got, and another to be arrogant about it. I have noticed every post I make the response is "Why does this bother you so much?" When in fact, that response could be made for pretty much EVERY post ever started on LS, right?
Yamaha Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 She says I make her feel comfortable....so I guess I'm doing something right. lol. Can you say? " I've been friend zoned!!!!!"
Geishawhelk Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 I have noticed every post I make the response is "Why does this bother you so much?" When in fact, that response could be made for pretty much EVERY post ever started on LS, right? Does this bother you..? I never said that, by the way........
Angel1111 Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Unless you have reason to doubt her, I don't really know why you would think she's making that up or that she overracted. Seems strange you would think that based on what you wrote about her. The flip side of that coin is that if this is all she ever talks about, or if this is a constant problem in her life, it'll start to get on your nerves. Beautiful women need to learn to have very strong boudaries, otherwise they'll continually feel like a victim, continually feel hunted by men, and that their lives (and value) are only about their looks. It's one thing to know you're beautiful, it's another thing to keep it in perspective. It's all about what she projects. Because of her looks, she'll have to learn to be a stronger person and make sure that people don't take advantage of her or make her feel smothered. Of course, that's up to her, not you. It's only up to you to observe who she is and decide if you can handle it or not. Don't bother trying to change her. If you can't handle her the way she is, then don't get involved because it takes a man with a lot of self-confidence to be with a beautiful woman. If he can't handle it, it will come out through extreme jealously and many other ways. What most men can't deal with is that a beautiful woman is often very self-confident so if he treats her badly or if the relationship goes sour, she's more likely to walk away. If you think you can't deal with this, then don't get involved. Since you're already doubting her, I'd say you would have big issues if you dated her.
Angel1111 Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Can you say? " I've been friend zoned!!!!!" I doubt that because she's going to be more impressed with someone who can handle her looks, opposed to men who salivate around her and make her uncomfortable. She turns to him because he doesn't make her feel threatened or used just for her looks. These men who intimidate her and smother her are not friends and she's probably more in fear of them than anything. I think it's a very good sign that she talks to him about what's bugging her. I'm just concerned that he may not be able to handle her.
Author Bells Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 Unless you have reason to doubt her, I don't really know why you would think she's making that up or that she overracted. Seems strange you would think that based on what you wrote about her. The flip side of that coin is that if this is all she ever talks about, or if this is a constant problem in her life, it'll start to get on your nerves. Beautiful women need to learn to have very strong boudaries, otherwise they'll continually feel like a victim, continually feel hunted by men, and that their lives (and value) are only about their looks. It's one thing to know you're beautiful, it's another thing to keep it in perspective. It's all about what she projects. Because of her looks, she'll have to learn to be a stronger person and make sure that people don't take advantage of her or make her feel smothered. Of course, that's up to her, not you. It's only up to you to observe who she is and decide if you can handle it or not. Don't bother trying to change her. If you can't handle her the way she is, then don't get involved because it takes a man with a lot of self-confidence to be with a beautiful woman. If he can't handle it, it will come out through extreme jealously and many other ways. What most men can't deal with is that a beautiful woman is often very self-confident so if he treats her badly or if the relationship goes sour, she's more likely to walk away. If you think you can't deal with this, then don't get involved. Since you're already doubting her, I'd say you would have big issues if you dated her. Well no, I'm just questioning what are the "Signs"...she's a very positive person actually. I think this was the 3rd time in a few months she brought the "How some men make me feel uncomfortable" issue There was an instance where she told me, "You know how some people just "pretend" to be nice to you just so....you know" She gets that vibe from alot of guys. DOn't get me wrong these guys that approach her are indeed handsome men. She just gets weirded out by them...that's the vibe that she gets. So..that's how she is....<shrug>
Ocean-Blue Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Well no, I'm just questioning what are the "Signs"...she's a very positive person actually. I think this was the 3rd time in a few months she brought the "How some men make me feel uncomfortable" issue There was an instance where she told me, "You know how some people just "pretend" to be nice to you just so....you know" She gets that vibe from alot of guys. DOn't get me wrong these guys that approach her are indeed handsome men. She just gets weirded out by them...that's the vibe that she gets. So..that's how she is....<shrug> She is more or less altering you to the fact that she is a highly desired woman and that you should be lucky she's giving you the time of day. Isn't it obvious?
Author Bells Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 She is more or less altering you to the fact that she is a highly desired woman and that you should be lucky she's giving you the time of day. Isn't it obvious? How am I "lucky"? Shes no better than I am.
Geishawhelk Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 So please could you therefore tell me what the point of your question is. Nobody's suggesting she is either better or worse than you are. But you asked a question about what we think of her comments..... Do you have two or three women round you all the time, pestering you for attention? Are you 'the same' as her in that respect? And I'm not 'poking you in the chest' asking. I'm just trying to find out what your point is then..... Are you thinking of asking her for a date?
carhill Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Establish rapport; ask her out. Obviously not a female POV Try something novel. Ignore her beauty. Act like it doesn't exist. Know that it is irrelevant. Focus on the other parts of her reality. See what happens...
amymarieca Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Some women like to brag to someone they are interested in about how many guys are after them. Some men feed into this and like the chase. If I am personally in to a guy, I wouldn't be talking about all the other men who are after me, but that is just me. Maybe she is different, but that would certainly get on my nerves after a while. A woman should make YOU feel special, not brag about how special she is to other people.
Author Bells Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 Some women like to brag to someone they are interested in about how many guys are after them. Some men feed into this and like the chase. If I am personally in to a guy, I wouldn't be talking about all the other men who are after me, but that is just me. Maybe she is different, but that would certainly get on my nerves after a while. A woman should make YOU feel special, not brag about how special she is to other people. That' just it...I don't know if she's bragging or has a legitimate complaint.
Ocean-Blue Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 How am I "lucky"? Shes no better than I am. I meant that this is what she wants you to think. She may not be doing it intentionally (it's probably a habit of hers), but the end result is that you think she's got lots of guys wanting her and therefore, she is a coveted partner.
Green Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 I'm so confused what you need the female POV for???
Yamaha Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 He's asking women how to be a man His big mistake. You never ask a women. As I said she sees you as safe and therefore friend material. Quit being a wussey man and be a real man and she will respect you and wuit treating you like a male girlfriend. Face it....She knows yuo want her!!!!!! What are YOU going to do about it????? Be her friend??????? That's what I thought.......
johan Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 It's hard to speculate on what could either be her idiosyncrasy or just your perception. And in either case the problem is pretty minor. It would be a stretch to try to extrapolate whatever the problem happens to be to some interesting trend in society.
serial muse Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 That' just it...I don't know if she's bragging or has a legitimate complaint. Well, I'm a woman, so here goes. Just ask her out. You'll find out pretty quickly whether she's full of it or not. But I get the sense you don't want to do that, because you're taking her complaints to you about these guys as "hints" that the direct approach might not work with her. So you're backing off. And thus, the real reason for this thread (roundabout though it is) is to ask what approach to take (veiled in "is she worth it anyway" language). The answer is the same. You're interested, you don't know enough about her to know who she really is, so ask her out. You are in danger of being friend-zoned otherwise. It does not matter whether she's telling you she doesn't like icky guys drooling all over her. If she's interested in you, she will accept. If she is not, she won't. There is only one way to know for sure. And we certainly can't tell you the answer to that. People do get stalked, harassed, whatever. So yes, it happens. But if she accepts and spends your date discussing how much she hates men drooling over her, despite your attempts to talk about anything else, there's your answer.
You'reasian Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Some women like to brag to someone they are interested in about how many guys are after them. Some men feed into this and like the chase. If I am personally in to a guy, I wouldn't be talking about all the other men who are after me, but that is just me. Maybe she is different, but that would certainly get on my nerves after a while. A woman should make YOU feel special, not brag about how special she is to other people. Another gem....nice! If a woman is bragging about how many men chase her, she's self-advertising - if you like that, then go for it. Its kind of nice when a woman can just be herself and you come together naturally.
torranceshipman Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 If she's really beautiful then shes probably just telling you what happens to her on a day to day basis. This happens a LOT to beautiful women! And its very possible she had a peeping tom-I know a lot of women who, unfortunately, have experienced this. You know why she tells you? Because she thinks you're her friend. But if she saw this post I think she'd change her mind.
Lucky_One Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Well, she can't help that she is rather attactive, and she *could* be telling you the truth when she says that she prefers guys who are being insincere and "nice" to her just to get into her pants. I don't see much in the way of "friend-zoning" here (even though this is the first place I have ever heard that and I could be misreading that situation). But what I do see is a woman who offered you the perfect opportunity for you to come by and "protect" her in a "semi-dangerous" situation. To me, it sounds like she wants you to ask her out, but she isn't comfortable asking you out herself, so she is inventing an excuse for you to offer to drop by at night - and stay late.
Trialbyfire Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Okay, there's this rather attractive woman that I know....when shes out and about she does, indeed have about 3 or 4 men kind of hovering around her, each one taking turns at trying to talk to her. If she's really beautiful then shes probably just telling you what happens to her on a day to day basis. This happens a LOT to beautiful women! And its very possible she had a peeping tom-I know a lot of women who, unfortunately, have experienced this. You know why she tells you? Because she thinks you're her friend. But if she saw this post I think she'd change her mind. Ya' think? Bells appears to have this female phobia, looking for horrendous motives where a simple action or question to the person involved, would clarify it for him.
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