rod_in_gtown Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 So I was just in south beach at a new night club and I met this really hot Colombian girl. I had a little too much to drink and one of my buddies pused me to dance with her (I'm a pretty damn good dancer of Colombian styles) we talked, she gave me her number and she was all over me. My friends kept pushing me to her and even her brother kept giving me drinks and winking at me and giving me the thumbs up. I still chose not to pursue anything further than just dancing and nice conversations. She asked me to come over with her to an afterparty and I said no. she was danging close to me even though the "close dance" was over and we were back to dance/trance styles. Why do I keep myself from having something fun with strangers? why do I keep sabotaging myself? I think I may just as well be a very yellow coward.
Art_Critic Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 In my eye you have not sabotaged yourself since you have her number.. Sure you didn't go and bang her but that isn't all that bad... in reality if you weren't looking for a one night stand then just call her and ask her out..
Geishawhelk Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 There's the distinct possibility that you might have resisted getting over-friendly infront of all your friends, because actually, you're more of a gentleman than they are? You said in another thread that you are incredibly close to your sister, and that you're going to be her 'Made' of honour. That to me smacks of someone who is open to the influence of Ladies, and has a good and healthy degree of respect for them. I read into this, that actually, you want to show her you have more respect for her than to go over the edge at a first meeting. .....Huh?
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Why do I keep picturing that scene in Scarface when Al Pacino's friend is dancing with his sister in a club...? Anyway, Rod, I think you sound like a gentleman, not a coward. If you had gone to that afterparty, I'm sure the late hour plus more alcohol would have meant a little roll in the hay at the hotel. It sounds like you respected and perhaps liked her too much to have an ONS. I agree with the other poster who mentioned your relationship with your sister as a basis for how you treat women. Why do you feel like a coward? Because you didn't "seal the deal"? Will you be in Miami again? Do you think there is actually a chance of seeing her again? Didn't you meet your first wife in Miami?
Ronni_W Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 I think I may just as well be a very yellow coward. Maybe....but there's no evidence of it in anything you posted, about this situation I agree with the others. Possibly your 'wiser mind' prevailed, and just resisted letting you go to the after-party half-drunk (totally blitzed?) and REALLY sabotage your chances with this lady by acting like an @$$ at said after-party?
Yamaha Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Why do u think u didn't move things to a physical level when she seemed more than willing?
vonerik012 Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Timing is very important. If you are brought together somehow randomly, with a woman you find attractive, and she finds you attractive, is it a big mistake to just cut it off, with the hopes of planning some future event. This is the rare opportunity to get to know someone without thinking too much, as it happened naturally.
Shygirl15 Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 I think it's normal. You can't get overly excited about every attractive female you meet out there. Maybe you just didn't feel any chemistry with her. I wonder why everyone including her brother/herself was so keen for you to make moves on her?
Jilly Bean Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 I fail to see how this is an example of self-sabotage. Sounds more like you had fun dancing, and that was all you were interested in. Just because the others wanted you to pursue it, doesn't mean you needed to. You maintained your boundaries, and what is wrong with that? A dance is a dance, and doesn't mean you have to take it further. Ever. (btw, welcome to the world of the shoe on the other foot. Now you know how a lot of women feel in dance clubs!) Never apologize for not being a man whore, Rod. You're one of the good ones, and don't let that change.
Star Gazer Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 You maintained your boundaries, and what is wrong with that? Never apologize for not being a man whore, Rod. You're one of the good ones, and don't let that change. I totally agree.
vonerik012 Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Perhaps some of the female responses are formed by what THEY WOULD BE DOING when they invite a man to an after party. Where did it say she invited him home??? They were at a club, and she invited him to an after party. How would him going make him a "man whore"? Or her a whore? After reading about some of your sexual lives, I fail to see how a man going to an after party with female would make him a man whore, lol. What should people call you after reading some of your threads???
Trialbyfire Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 My friends kept pushing me to her and even her brother kept giving me drinks and winking at me and giving me the thumbs up. Pressure like this would turn me off big time. I don't know about you rod, but it's almost like a need to perform. Perhaps it was a combination of this and your recent relationship experience. Relax and enjoy. No need to take it further than the pace you're comfortable maintaining.
Author rod_in_gtown Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 Ok I'm more level headed right now (and sober too). I'm glad I didn't rush into things, my friend where I'm staying told me that I did well, that the girl was being very attentive to me, talkative and flirty with me. I did get her number and I will call her soon. even though nothing is likely to come out of it, at least I made a new friend. After a quick search on facebook it all looks like she's a friend of a friend of mine from DC. I spoke to my DC friend and apparently they went to college together. She's going to send me pictures to see if she's the same one I met last night. though my memory is still very fuzzy. I do think you guys are right, it's probably not self sabotage, but when I wrote this post this morning (just getting home and still pretty smashed), I was regretting not having at least kissed her. I was also very attentive with my female friends from the group I was with, not because I wanted to give an impression of unavailability but because I haven't seen them in a long time. I hope she doesn't take it as disinterest.
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