V.Vixen Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Hi all.. this is my first post here. I have been doing the online dating thing (match and eharmony) for a long time, and love it because it keeps my options open. I haven't had anything long term come from it, but have had some good dates. My problem is this... I let off some kind of vibe that is, ohh, I don't know, maybe intimidating, in person. When I do the online thing, I feel ok about meeting them because we have already talked and so on... The problem is that men don't usually approach me in person. I think they can see that I am nervous about them talking to me or something. Basically the scenario plays out like so: Man glances my way. I look at him. I stare at the ground or look the other direction because I get so nervous. IF he gets the guts to talk to me (rare) after that, I fumble on my words and don't know what to say and find a reason to hurry away. This doesn't happen with the online guys because we are past that initial "getting to know you"/icebreaker phase, ya know? So, basically, I need to find a way to not be so nervous and know what to say to these men whom I have never met before! When i leave my apartment I am confident as ever, and then as soon as a man notices me I crumble under pressure and feel like I reverted back 10 years to an awkward 16 year old. haha I have the personality that is outgoing, but ONLY after I get to know someone. Sometimes I assume they think I am b!tchy because of it.
Trialbyfire Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Practice makes it easier to talk to people you don't know. Start talking to people in store lineups, maybe not with men you find attractive, at first. Talk to anyone. Make them laugh. When you're comfortable doing that, move to men, then to men you find attractive. It doesn't take long to get the hang of it until you realize that everyone can be a little shy inside and when they feel positive energy from you, they'll open up and return it. Good luck!
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