IcemanJB Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Hey everyone. This is my first post in this forum, and I thank you for your responses in advance. I guess I'll just jump right into it...I'm pretty new to the whole exclusive relationship thing, as I've for the most part had off and on things with girls in the past. I've been dating my current girlfriend for a little over a month now. We met in December '07 through my sister, but she was going through a breakup at around that time. I liked her right away, and she liked me. We went on a couple dates (nothing too serious) over the next several months, but I had concluded, wrongly, she wasn't really interested in a long-term thing. We had still frequently chatted online though (mostly her initiating). She's from Chicago (about 2.5 hours away from here) and goes to school here, so we didn't see each other much over the summer. Anyways, she moved into her apartment here in late August, and we started hanging out. It was pretty clear right away that there was really something there, and after a few nights of hanging out, I asked her if she wanted to be exclusive and she agreed. We hung out almost every night, even during the schoolweek. I've never gotten along with a girl this well, or had so much in common. It's kind of funny actually; she was raised in downtown Chicago, whereas I was raised in a tiny Wisconsin town of about 4,000 people, but it's borderline WEIRD how much we think alike. Even our sense of humor is the same. We can make each other laugh whenever we want, and can both playfully make fun of each other and it's so fun. She's admitted that she's never been able to open up to a guy (or even close friends) before me, and that she had been hurt bad in her previous relationships - as have I. This week though she's seemed kind of distant - she said she had a really busy week. She said she'd stop by on Thursday before she went out with her friends, but cancelled that morning with a weird excuse. Nothing too serious, as we were just going to watch a TV show together. It really did annoy/bug me though, and I'm going to say something to her the next time we're alone. I hadn't seen her since Wednesday before briefly this morning and it was driving me CRAZY. My mind was going nuts, thinking all of these bad things (did she not like me anymore? she's going to hurt me like the others...). She so far has always texted me multiple times during days we don't see each other, but I'm still petrified of being abandoned. I have not in any way demonstrated this insecurity to her, or at least I think, but it is tearing me up inside. She and I are pretty independent so I make it a point to NEVER be overbearing or needy with her, and let her do her own thing. I do have a rather busy life, but even while at classes and work I think about those things constantly. I know this has to do with me being hurt in the past, so it's really tough for me to shake these feelings. Maybe I'm not ready for a relationship, but she really is special and I don't want to hurt her in any way. No girl has ever put up with my weird sense of humor and thought process before. - and she's said the same thing about herself to me. Are these thoughts normal this early in the relationship? Maybe we're moving too fast? Should I just calm down and stop worrying? Or is there a legitamate worry here? What do you guys do to cope with this stuff? Thanks!
Green Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 how old are you guys? Relationships can be scary you gotta stop driving yourself insane with the what ifs one week of her being busy is hardly the end of the world good luck...
Author IcemanJB Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 I'm 22, she's 20. I know I'm probably blowing it out of proportion, but I just can't help it...it's been better today than the last couple days though.
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