kitkat826 Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 So I'm 26 and I would say that I've only had two actual "boyfriends" in my life. The first was a mostly long distance relationship that lasted for four years, and the other was one year and involved us living together for half of it. I've dated quite a bit beyond that, say about 2 dozen guys or so. My definition of dating is quite broad here, and involves anything from one official date to a couple months of dating/hanging out. A little over half have included sex. I think that I have pretty high standards of expected compatibility when it comes to deciding to take it to the "next level" of relationship, aka serial monogamy and "boyfriend-hood". Yet I seem to have no problem going on a handful dates with some of them or even getting involved in a two month-long trist with full knowledge that this is not someone that I would like be with seriously long term, a.k.a marriage. I don't plan on getting married for at least another five years or so. It's not that there is anything "wrong" with most these guys; we get along, make each other laugh, they are respectful and not *******s, I feel comfortable with them, we have good chemistry, etc. And if I don't have chemistry with you from the first date, then I won't go any further. But I just know that they're not "the one", and to be perfectly honest some of it has to do with education level, intellectual stimulation and future lifestyle/career path. Is it weird or disingenuous to keep going along for the ride for kicks anyway? Of course, most of the times things don't end "perfectly"... usually one person gets somehow slighted or disappointed (And that person sometimes admittedly is me...even if you know they're not "the one", you still get used to the fun and special connection). So at what point do you guys (and girls) find yourself calling it quits when you know they're not your "soul mate"? I have a theory that men are more willing to enter into these types of limited-length relationships than women with acknowledgment of this fact...do you agree? Where do YOU draw the line?
Green Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 I have a theory your driving yourself crazy with your inner dialogue
Walk Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 I agree with KMT. Beside that... I'm pretty impressed that you can tell whether a person is (or is not) your soul mate so quickly. You're talking about guys that seem to have their shyt together, who make you feel good about yourself, who treat you well, and yet you already know they aren't "The One" after only a few months. You said everything else was there except the education level, and career path. If the intellect wasn't there, then you wouldn't be able to spend any time with them and actually have fun. You'd be bored out of your mind with them. So intellect wasn't lacking. Just education and career path. Interesting.... Personally, I think you're placing far too much importance on inconsequencial attributes.
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