Men are intimidated by women? I don't think so.

[Stockalone]

Some men admire 'strong' women.

(But here, we'd have to ask them what their personal definition of 'strong' is.)

 

When "strong and independent" is being emphasised, I think of a woman who is (highly) successful in her field of work but at the same time, is also an overbearing woman who is going to tell me what exactly it takes to be a "real man" (which usually means that she wants an alpha male who makes at least as much money as she does). Now, there is nothing wrong with wanting a mate who is your equal, including similar financial success, if it means that you want someone with a compatible personality and lifestyle.

 

Still, something about these woman doesn't sit well with me. I guess it's just a case of incompatible personalities, given that I am not really ambitious.

 

Am I intimidated by such women? No, but I also don't admire them, nor am I attracted to them.

 

 

Some men, on the other hand, do like a quiet, shy, reserved and un-opinionated lady at their side.....

 

That would suit my own personality a lot better as it is similar to mine. However, being a quiet, even a bit shy woman doesn't mean she can't be strong and independent, far from it actually.

 

I value a woman who sets me straight when I lose focus of the goals we set together. And I value a woman who is independant enough to bring her own ideas, her own goals into the discussion about where our relationship should be going.

 

And to be perfectly honest, I also need to be needed. A woman who constantly makes it known that she doesn't need a man, is a turn off. If I am not needed at all, I am easily replaceable and I don't feel like fully investing in a relationship where I am merely a convenience.

 

In a relationship, I do need the woman I am with, I do become a bit interdependent. Giving up some independence makes me vulnerable, but I don't know how I can love without that vulnerability.

[Geishawhelk]

..... being a quiet, even a bit shy woman doesn't mean she can't be strong and independent, far from it actually.

 

I'm in complete agreement.

 

 

And to be perfectly honest, I also need to be needed. A woman who constantly makes it known that she doesn't need a man, is a turn off. If I am not needed at all, I am easily replaceable and I don't feel like fully investing in a relationship where I am merely a convenience.

 

In a relationship, I do need the woman I am with, I do become a bit interdependent. Giving up some independence makes me vulnerable, but I don't know how I can love without that vulnerability.

 

I think this should be true of both parties.

My partner and I have our disagreements, and the occasional ding-dong....but they're getting rarer, because i think we've both established our boundaries and parameters... we both know what we need, what the other person needs, and what we need together.

Then he 'feeds' me, and I 'feed' him.

 

Good post, thanks.

[Rooster_DAR]

Most men love a woman who has true independence but women who constantly go on about how independent they are are a major red flag. Usually it is just a cover up for a nasty attitude that renders her intolerable to be around and these women are usually misandrists who are hostile to men in general. What man wants to subject himself to that?

 

 

Exactly!

 

Unfortunately I was the victim (I hate using that word) of one of these types of women. Beware and run as fast as you can when you experience a condescending or openly independent woman, they are bad news.

 

Cheers!

[Rooster_DAR]

It all went horribly wrong in the 60's.

 

Up until then, roles were pretty much defined, and a lady knew where she was with a gentleman.

 

Mr Darcy would call and present his visiting card, and ladies had chaperones......

 

Fast Forward to the 30's and 40's and we start hearing about suffragettes, emancipation and shorter frocks.....

 

Come the end of the war, and it all became a hooping great minefield, because the Ladies - given jobs in factories, in engineering, industry, agriculture and in haulage, were not so keen to suddenly abdicate it all, and give it all back up for the boys coming home.

The war may have done much to alter the face of Europe, the world and the economy, but less obvious changes - in the work-place and the home - were also taking place.

 

And then, the sixties. The Pill. Equality. Fair Pay. Burn the bra!

 

And since then, the edges have become blurred.

The roles that men filled for countless centuries were being fought for - and won - by women, determined to prove that they could out-men the men, and beat them at their own games.

Simultaneously, women sought better maternity conditions, allowances for family life, and demanding of their men-folk that they take over and perform some of the tasks hitherto traditionally ascribed to women.

 

(Have you noticed, incidentally how many public toilets offer nappy changing facilities in ladies' loos only? How's a dad to change his baby's nappy if he's out on his own with the poopy little mite....?)

 

So this fandango about Men being intimidated by women, has a point, if only to demonstrate that some men simply don't know how their roles are defined any longer, and some women believe that in order to get ahead in this world, they have to lose all sense of femininity and be a woman in a man's world, chew 'em up, spit 'em out, out-drink, out-drive and out-deal them and crush them underfoot.

Which is horribly, sadly and tragically wrong.

 

Of course, the above is extremely generalised.

Some men admire 'strong' women.

(But here, we'd have to ask them what their personal definition of 'strong' is.)

Some men, on the other hand, do like a quiet, shy, reserved and un-opinionated lady at their side.....

 

Women tend to prefer a man who knows his mind, is relatively ambitious, has a good sense of humour, and who respects her.

 

However, no woman I know actively seeks a meek, submissive timid and retiscent man.

 

Geish,

 

I think this is the only thing I have ever agreed with you on. I think much of what you wrote is true.

 

Cheers!

[Angel1111]

I don't think it's the independence that men are intimidated by. I think it has more to do with the woman's position, title, looks, or personality. I think too many times a career-minded woman thinks she has to lose her femininity to be successful and they learn to be agressive, which can carry over into their personal relationships - which is an incredibly bad idea. It's a fine balance but women have to learn to separate their work personality with their relationship personality. Personally, I find it a relief to be able to be a 'girl' with a guy, to pamper him, be loving, hold hands - all that silly stuff that doesn't fit in with the corporate world.

 

I think that's why Sarah Palin is so popular - she's very feminine and highly successful. I can see her being a fabulous mayor by day, and enticing her husband with sexy lingerie by night. She's a great example of a woman who has found that balance.

[Woggle]

Exactly!

 

Unfortunately I was the victim (I hate using that word) of one of these types of women. Beware and run as fast as you can when you experience a condescending or openly independent woman, they are bad news.

 

Cheers!

 

Luckily they are pretty easy to spot if a man doesn't have blinders on.

[Geishawhelk]

I don't think it's the independence that men are intimidated by. I think it has more to do with the woman's position, title, looks, or personality. I think too many times a career-minded woman thinks she has to lose her femininity to be successful and they learn to be agressive, which can carry over into their personal relationships - which is an incredibly bad idea. It's a fine balance but women have to learn to separate their work personality with their relationship personality. Personally, I find it a relief to be able to be a 'girl' with a guy, to pamper him, be loving, hold hands - all that silly stuff that doesn't fit in with the corporate world.

 

From my own personal point of view, I think a woman in the professional workplace should be treated in exactly the same was as her male colleagues, not expect any preferential treatment herself, and be on level pegging.

For example, she should no more expect someone to open a door for her, any more or less than she should be willing to open it for any other colleague, male or female.

 

However, in my private social life, I expect a gentleman to be a gentleman, not use profanities and not drink excessively to the point of falling over and drooling down my blouse.

I would like to think he'd open doors for me, and treat me like the lady I am.

 

I would add, people, that I am in my early 50's, so perhaps, to some of you, my ideals may seem very outdated and unfashionable.

To each, of course, their own.

 

Oh and the remark about Sarah Palin and the lingerie.....?

To much information..... I won't be able to think of her in any other way now - !!

[Geishawhelk]

Luckily they are pretty easy to spot if a man doesn't have blinders on.

 

 

The problem is that in your opinion, they're all like that. So that would insinuate that most men on here wear blinders.....

[Woggle]

The problem is that in your opinion, they're all like that. So that would insinuate that most men on here wear blinders.....

 

I don't think that all women are like that but after knowing a woman for a weeks I can usually see what she is about.

[Angel1111]

From my own personal point of view, I think a woman in the professional workplace should be treated in exactly the same was as her male colleagues, not expect any preferential treatment herself, and be on level pegging.

For example, she should no more expect someone to open a door for her, any more or less than she should be willing to open it for any other colleague, male or female.

 

However, in my private social life, I expect a gentleman to be a gentleman, not use profanities and not drink excessively to the point of falling over and drooling down my blouse.

I would like to think he'd open doors for me, and treat me like the lady I am.

 

I would add, people, that I am in my early 50's, so perhaps, to some of you, my ideals may seem very outdated and unfashionable.

To each, of course, their own.

 

Oh and the remark about Sarah Palin and the lingerie.....?

To much information..... I won't be able to think of her in any other way now - !!

 

I agree with most of what you're saying - except that I expect to be treated like a lady at all times. And I usually am. Men at work open the door for me just like men in my personal relationships. It has nothing to do with whether I can make a decision about a business matter. It has to do with manners.

[Geishawhelk]

My point is, that in the workplace, such behaviour can at times be seen as either patronisng or an attempt to garner favouritism.

I've seen it happen.

At work, I used to be a research consultant, and was on a par with both male and female research consultants.

Some guys opened doors for me.

But in a workplace environment, I would open doors for them too.

Courtesy and manners works both ways.

Chivalry is a man-thing......

[carhill]

IME, certain behaviors regarding the treatment of women are ingrained in a gentleman, and he (I know I) can't turn them off at will. It's just instinctive. IMO, a man can still treat a woman like a lady and also as a peer professional or whatever work status she holds. I don't see the two behaviors as mutually exclusive. Then again, I've never been intimidated by women of any sort. I like them, as a gender

[Trialbyfire]

IME, certain behaviors regarding the treatment of women are ingrained in a gentleman, and he (I know I) can't turn them off at will. It's just instinctive. IMO, a man can still treat a woman like a lady and also as a peer professional or whatever work status she holds. I don't see the two behaviors as mutually exclusive. Then again, I've never been intimidated by women of any sort. I like them, as a gender

Gents...in a nutshell. Are you listening?

[OpenBook]

I think that's why Sarah Palin is so popular - she's very feminine and highly successful. I can see her being a fabulous mayor by day, and enticing her husband with sexy lingerie by night. She's a great example of a woman who has found that balance.

 

And I think Todd has been way too often overlooked in the Palin Success Formula. How many men out there would be willing to run the household, take care of the kids, cook for the family, build the house, hold down a full-time job AND still be a "He-Man"?? Men like that are VERY RARE. Sarah could not have gotten where she is without Todd's support.

[Trialbyfire]

Overall, I don't think there are too many people who aren't intimidated by something or someone. To ascribe it to a subsection of the population, is generalization at its worst.

 

As for being feminine or being masculine based on stereotypes, forget that noise. Be the person you want to be, within the boundaries of good taste and personal moral values. Conduct yourself as you see fit within parameters of fair play. Pretzel behaviour is so not attractive because sooner or later, it comes through as a lie.

 

I have expectations of men. They have expectations of me. When our expectations meet, we have the potential for a relationship. When they don't, that's okay too.

[You'reasian]

Overall, I don't think there are too many people who aren't intimidated by something or someone. To ascribe it to a subsection of the population, is generalization at its worst.

 

As for being feminine or being masculine based on stereotypes, forget that noise. Be the person you want to be, within the boundaries of good taste and personal moral values. Conduct yourself as you see fit within parameters of fair play.

 

Nicely put, TBF.

[Krajt]

Older men tend to feel this way... but not the younger ones!! :bunny: There IS hope for mankind.

 

I'm only 21 and couldn't careless if my girlfriend earns more than me or any other woman for that matter. I have no problem with a woman buying me a gift, like sexy briefs or Obsession Night.

[Krajt]

Overall, I don't think there are too many people who aren't intimidated by something or someone. To ascribe it to a subsection of the population, is generalization at its worst.

 

As for being feminine or being masculine based on stereotypes, forget that noise. Be the person you want to be, within the boundaries of good taste and personal moral values. Conduct yourself as you see fit within parameters of fair play. Pretzel behaviour is so not attractive because sooner or later, it comes through as a lie.

 

I have expectations of men. They have expectations of me. When our expectations meet, we have the potential for a relationship. When they don't, that's okay too.

 

Why are all the clued up women too old for me to date.

[Geishawhelk]

Why is age a factor?

 

What are you - 12? Then I could understand....

 

But a couple of years (or so....) isn't going to matter.

[Trialbyfire]

Age is but a number...no? Actually, I'm equally as "bad" about age. I tend to date men who are five+ years older due to personal preference. It doesn't mean there aren't younger men who are mature. I just prefer a more lined and weathered face. Sexy.

[Krajt]

Why is age a factor?

 

What are you - 12? Then I could understand....

 

But a couple of years (or so....) isn't going to matter.

 

LMAO, It's not me concerned about age, I met this gorgeous 30 year old woman last year when I was twenty and she refused to date me because I was 20. When I am single, I chase older woman, I've always liked older women. They just don't like me.

[Geishawhelk]

Their loss.

I think a younger man is a good thing....!

 

(Not that I've reached the age of desperation, you understand!).... but I look younger than I am (or so I'm told) and I have met guys my age who unfortunately, do nothing for me....

[Krajt]

Well I'm not the most mature person you'll ever meet, I still laugh like a child at Monty Python and the Life of Brian and I still laugh at Mr Bean episodes.

[lovestruck818]

Yeah, I sometimes wonder if this is a cover up for the real reason.

 

I think men want to feel like they are needed so they ARE turned off by an independant woman. For example, I have fixed all the plumbing and electrical in my house and my boyf at the time, although not living with me, would get mad b/c he felt like he was not needed in certain situations b/c I am so independant.

[Krajt]

I think men want to feel like they are needed so they ARE turned off by an independant woman. For example, I have fixed all the plumbing and electrical in my house and my boyf at the time, although not living with me, would get mad b/c he felt like he was not needed in certain situations b/c I am so independant.

 

Whaa? You see I would look at like this...Less time fixing house, more time having kinky fun and mind-blowing sex that could generate enough energy to power a service station. Maybe, that's me. Fixing light fittings doesn't appeal to me.