lonelyandfrustrated Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 I was told that I am quick to point out my H's shortcomings, but don't own up to any of mine. So here they are, as I see them: 1. I am quick to judge. I make snap judgments of situations and people before I've taken the time to learn more, or at least enough to make an informed decision. 2. I'm stubborn as hell. I get something in my head and it STAYS there. I think I'm right? I AM right. Everyone else is just too dim to realize it. 3. I'm lazy. Yeah, I go to work everyday and my kids are clean and fed and I'd invite you into my home without embarrassment or apologies if you showed up at my door, but really? I'd rather be on the porch, like I am right now, thinking and dreaming and conversing. All the time. Manual labor (like dishes, laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc.) sucks. 4. I can go from zero to bitch in .0004 seconds. 4.1 Bitch to loving in .000001 seconds. WTH? 5. I tend to point out other's errors, while making excuses for my own. If someone points out my own errors, they're a pedantic jerk, it was just a mistake! 6. I'd rather cut someone out of my life than forgive them. 7. I tend to apply double standards. 8. I drink, and I don't see/recognize/admit it as a problem, although it has been pointed out to me as a problem for my H, off-and-on, over the years. 9. I can only come up with 8, but I know there's more. So, what's your problem? Anyone overcome one of mine and can give me hand?
Mr. Lucky Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Add them all up LaF, and they make you human, with the additional benefit of an introspective nature. Not a bad package . I try to take after my wife, who is self-deprecating but in a consistently humorous way. If she screws up, she's the first person to make fun of herself. It tends to rob other people of the ability to judge or criticize you... Mr. Lucky
moonmosaic Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 This happens when certain needs are not met; lack of love or belonging, lack of importance in your life, perhaps at home or at work, lack of time to have fun or to do the things you enjoy most or feeling stuck somewhere or in a situation undesirable. Just one of these can cause you to act the way you do. Cognitive/behavior therapy can help to overcome these things provided you see your attitude is being unpleasant.
Curmudgeon Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Quite honestly, you sound almost precisely like someone I USED TO be married to, except for #4.1! She never could manage that. Life has been ever so much better ever since she achieved "used to" status!
Author lonelyandfrustrated Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 Quite honestly, you sound almost precisely like someone I USED TO be married to, except for #4.1! She never could manage that. Life has been ever so much better ever since she achieved "used to" status! hehehe...but did she see her shortcomings, or deny she had any? I think I probably sound like a lot of exes. Just wanted to toss my crap out there, so people know that I know I have crap.
Curmudgeon Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 hehehe...but did she see her shortcomings, or deny she had any? I think I probably sound like a lot of exes. Just wanted to toss my crap out there, so people know that I know I have crap. She has never seen, admitted to, confronted or worked on any of them. That's a big part of why we're divorced and an even bigger part of why she has no relationship with any of our five adult children or six grandchildren. In order to change you have to first recognize and admit that change is necessary then commit to it. I spent two years, post-divorce, doing just that and working on my issues. That began 14 years ago and I'm still a work in progress. You've taken a good and necessary first step! My last step will be just before I assume room temperature.
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