Habibti Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 No, this isn't a trick question. How would you honestly feel if you noticed your ex doing some things that were degrading to themselves or contradictory of their beliefs and values? Would you feel satisfaction? Would you feel concerned?
watermeloncandy Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 my ex did. he disgusts me and is a liar. i hope he suffers for it. that's how i honestly feel.
Author Habibti Posted October 4, 2008 Author Posted October 4, 2008 my ex did. he disgusts me and is a liar. i hope he suffers for it. that's how i honestly feel. Could you explain how?
lofi_tokyo Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Well, my ex has always claimed to hate certain things, but done them anyways, so he already has kind of accomplished that one. As for if he really REALLY did something humiliating, something that hurt him deeply? I would feel bad for him. It sucks seeing someone you care about get hurt or put down.
You'reasian Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 No, this isn't a trick question. How would you honestly feel if you noticed your ex doing some things that were degrading to themselves or contradictory of their beliefs and values? Would you feel satisfaction? Would you feel concerned? Are these shared values? I'd feel concerned.
Trialbyfire Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Everyone synchronizes themselves to their partners, to an extent. When the relationship dissolves, you get to see who they really are, of which sometimes, it's just an over-reaction in that they're also coping. An ex is an ex. Overall, does it matter what they do? It neither reflects on you or should have any impact on you, unless it's a form of interaction with you.
johan Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Me ex's entire life is a humiliation. That's what I tell myself anyway.
watermeloncandy Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Could you explain how? he told me when we met that he wasn't into having casual sex with women - that he respected himself more than that. he reiterated this many times during our relationship. the first thing he did when we broke up was join flings.com and he met someone and f*cked them..(i now know this to be true). he told me when we broke up that he understood that he needed to focus on getting better (mentally - he has anger issues - bad road rage, a bad temper etc) - he said he didn't want anything casual, didn't want to date anyone and certainly didn't want a relationship with anyone right now. i found his profile on lavalife in all three sections. he's a liar and a hypocrite. according to everything he's told me in the past about his morals and values, he's now doing the exact opposite. so either he lied to me then, or lied to me now. either way, what he's done is disgusting and degrading to himself (lying and looking for someone else to be with when he has anger issues and he knows it and isn't getting help). although my first and angry reaction is to say i hope he suffers greatly, i know he already does. he's a very sad person and hates himself (long story about how i know this, but i do), so i do pity him and am very sad for him as well. i guess today i'd rather wish him ill, then shed any more tears for him (because he'll never be happy). in a few days i might feel differently. a break-up is an emotional rollercoaster.
orangehose Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 he's a liar and a hypocrite. according to everything he's told me in the past about his morals and values, he's now doing the exact opposite. Wow, sounds a lot like my ex. Talked this great game during the relationship about values and the importance of being a good person, would rail endlessly about how bad this or that man was. Then he dumped me in a really callous fashion and turned himself into a superficial, booty-loving playboy. People change. I'm definitely now a lot more suspicious of guys who try to portray themselves as 'good', or at least, I don't pay attention to what they're saying. At the end of the day, their actions will speak for themselves.
0hpenelope Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 No, this isn't a trick question. How would you honestly feel if you noticed your ex doing some things that were degrading to themselves or contradictory of their beliefs and values? Would you feel satisfaction? Would you feel concerned? I'd watch his fall from a distance. That is to say, if I can even be bothered to watch. There are no winners in my situation. But yes, people change. If Lawrence has changed enough to the point where everything that he once told me aren't true anymore, then nothing I can do about it. The only thing that matters is that he keeps leaving me alone.
Trialbyfire Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Ohpenelope, for some reason your post reminded me of one of my fave U2 songs - So Cruel: I'm only hanging on to watch you go down...my love.
0hpenelope Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Ohpenelope, for some reason your post reminded me of one of my fave U2 songs - So Cruel: I'm only hanging on to watch you go down...my love. Interestingly enough Ms. TbF, U2 is one of the bands Lawrence and I have a mutual interest in listening. He really likes "With or Without You". I felt that way for a while: I wanted to see him fail. He's in a new relationship and I wanted to 'stick around' long enough to hear the bad stuff about them, but I realized it's pointless. It's a waste of time, just as Lawrence was a complete waste of energy. I woke up before letting the 'nightmare' take over. If he screws himself over, that's his business. Like I said, I want him to keep leaving me alone. The moment he does break NC, by the time I'm done with him, he'll understand the full meaning of "Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned."
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