Bells Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 I live in the suburbs,about an hour outside of town...and well, it can be an issue if you're dating someone an hour away, but hey, if ya like 'em who, cares right? I live in an area where most people are either 1. Taken or 2. Married. That's it. Boring towns equal people getting hitched and makin' babies. I went to an event, in the big city....and actually bumped into one person that actually commuted to the event as well that lived where I Live...probably be at her place in 5 to 10 mins if I wanted to. lol After getting to know her she, 1. Had no kids, 2. Never been married 3. Around MY age! 4. Same religion Very ideal for a guy like me, since I am like her in that regards. Anyhow, she mentioned she dated a physician in the same area. We got to talking about dating and stuff in general...and she says she prefers dating men in the big city (an hour away) because in a small area....everyone knows your business. I thought that was a bit strange though...why travel all the way to the big city, when...if you happened to bump into a "rare" single man in your hick town..date that person, ya know? She's ike "Well, people know your business, youre love life, etc etc" and she doesn't like that Any women here that actually PREFER long distance relationships?? I actually knew another co=worker like that....she actually preferred to the commute...and didnt like the idea of a guy that could come over pretty much every day..since he lives so close.
Ronni_W Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 According to what you posted, she didn't say that she "prefers long distance relationships", though -- that is undoubtedly how you are interpreting what she said, but it's NOT what she said, according to your own post.
norajane Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 I guess I don't consider an hour's drive to be long distance. When I drive from the city into my office in the suburbs, it can take me that long to get there if I go during rush hour, sometimes longer if traffic is really bad, even though my office is only 25 miles away. Even if I worked downtown, it would take me that long door to door if I took public transportation. My ex lived in the suburbs about 30 miles away and it could take 45 minutes to an hour for him to get here. But it could take that long even if he drove straight over from his office to my place during rush hours and his office was only 12 miles away. I was pretty neutral about the time/distance. I'm not the clingy type, though, so I don't need someone in my pocket 24 hours a day. I'm also a procrastinator, so having that built-in time cushion gave me extra time to get ready to go out, or to clean my place up a bit, or whatever. I don't really understand the 'everyone knows your business' thing because the suburbs out here aren't small towns, they're suburbs, and I can't imagine anyone knows much about anyone who doesn't live right next door. The only time I would see that as a problem is in the stages of dating when you aren't a couple and aren't sleeping over each other's places, because you can't have more than a drink when you know have to drive home. Anyway, ask her out sometime. Just because she might have a preference doesn't mean she won't make an exception.
BannaBee57 Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Sounds like she likes to keep people at arms length. Maybe she's not looking for anything serious. It's easier to keep your distance emotionally and stay casual if the people you date aren't around too often. When I date I prefer people in my area. If I really like someone I want to see them as often as you can. Especially in the initial stages of getting to know each other.
Final Girl Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Maybe she picked up on the vibe that you were keen and she wasn't really...so was trying to let you down without hurting your feelings??
Stockalone Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 An hour really isn't that much. And she only prefers dating men from the city, it's not mandatory. And while I don't consider an hour's drive to be an ideal situation, it's not really a problem in my opinion. An hour apart doesn't prevent you from seeing each other during the week. Besides, some distance makes it easier to cope if things don't work out. There is not much of a risk of running into an ex every time you buy groceries if your ex lives an hour or more away.
Star Gazer Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 You didn't say she prefers long-distance relationships. She said she prefers to NOT date people who live in her/your town, for the reasons stated. Maybe she picked up on the vibe that you were keen and she wasn't really...so was trying to let you down without hurting your feelings?? More likely than not, true.
Green Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 I will echoe the people who said she was using it as an easy way to let you down... but who really cares you should have just got her number and tried to ask her out unless your saying you tried that and this is the answer you got then this is definetly the way of letting u down.
Author Bells Posted October 4, 2008 Author Posted October 4, 2008 I will echoe the people who said she was using it as an easy way to let you down... but who really cares you should have just got her number and tried to ask her out unless your saying you tried that and this is the answer you got then this is definetly the way of letting u down. No, we were just talking about ...stuff....then the interesting world of dating and the like. I never asked her out.
quankanne Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 why travel all the way to the big city, when...if you happened to bump into a "rare" single man in your hick town..date that person, ya know? I grew up in a small town about 30 miles outside a metropolis area, and was grossed out at the idea of dating anyone from even my rural county. Why? Because just about everyone is related in small towns, by blood or marriage, and I couldn't get past the idea that I might be dating a relative. and at the time, gaining "experience" was to attend TAMU then come back home to settle down. People who lived in the city were more open to the idea of moving/traveling than were the folks in my town, and I wanted to date someone who had been outside the area for more than just f4 years of college classes. besides, if there was a "'rare' single man" living in my hick town, he either was gay, a drunk or had serious problems. And that's not meant to be mean, just a somewhat accurate reflection of the single male population in Podunkville – all the good men are snatched up quickly in a small town/rural area, and marriage is for keeps. When you've hit a certain age, the dating pool in a small town is little to begin with, and narrowed down even further by those factors I stated above.
Author Bells Posted October 4, 2008 Author Posted October 4, 2008 why travel all the way to the big city, when...if you happened to bump into a "rare" single man in your hick town..date that person, ya know? I grew up in a small town about 30 miles outside a metropolis area, and was grossed out at the idea of dating anyone from even my rural county. Why? Because just about everyone is related in small towns, by blood or marriage, and I couldn't get past the idea that I might be dating a relative. and at the time, gaining "experience" was to attend TAMU then come back home to settle down. People who lived in the city were more open to the idea of moving/traveling than were the folks in my town, and I wanted to date someone who had been outside the area for more than just f4 years of college classes. besides, if there was a "'rare' single man" living in my hick town, he either was gay, a drunk or had serious problems. And that's not meant to be mean, just a somewhat accurate reflection of the single male population in Podunkville – all the good men are snatched up quickly in a small town/rural area, and marriage is for keeps. When you've hit a certain age, the dating pool in a small town is little to begin with, and narrowed down even further by those factors I stated above. Yeah thing is though, I'm the exception to the rule..not gay, drunk, or have serious problems. Thing is with SOME of these Po-Dunk towns...as of late.....in the year 2000's, apparently even PO-dunk towns are starting to grow...the bigger cities are merging into small town America. Anyhow, what's funny is.....when I do a 20 mile geographical search of my area (not my usual 50)....I 1. Very few single women show up in my search area 2.Every 3 to 6 months..a woman with all her teeth and hasn't popped out her 6th kid from her 8th other boyfriend BUT...once in a while...I see a "normal cute"girl show up in my search that ACTUALLY lives here. YOu want to know why? Because, she just MOVED her from the big apple or something...had one that was from Chicago....very pretty woman too...no kids, no baggage ,nothin...it was grand. Chances are they've lived here for a year before considering online dating...but they were rather "forced" into online dating due to the lack of single men (or all teeth single men) in her area...and she's like "Screw it..im going online to find men, lol" Thing is...she is still stuck in that "big city girl" habit of dating only 6 foot guys and picking apart even normal guys. Not to sound conceited or anything, but I'm the best she could probably do. lol That is if you compare me to rest of the trailer park population. lol
KinAZ Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 I sort of feel the same way as the women in your town. While I can't say that I completely object to dating someone from where I live, I would be extremely careful in doing so, as... people are nosy, and your love life becomes public property. It's like becoming famous and then complaining heavily about the media. It's a part of the game. If you don't have the stomach for it, then it's not the place for you.
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