MinusTwo Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Hey everyone, I had posted my situation before asking for advice. Now I need more. Just to recap, met a great girl, she ended up being 2 months pregnant with her recently deceased boyfriends baby. Flew up to visit her back and forth until she came back to deliver. FFWD. We've been dating for 7 months. She just had the baby about 3 weeks ago. She had decided shortly after finding out she was pregnant that she would give the baby up for adoption. I was there with her in the delivery room, and when she gave her baby away. It was the most emotion I've ever felt in my life, both watching her child being born and watching her give her child away. 3 weeks later. She's going to start school soon. I decided I wanted to move to the same area as her to be with her. She was extremely happy and excited. Tomorrow, I need to send in the deposit for the first months rent. And to be honest, I feel rushed. Every single day since we've first started dating I've been plagued by the fact that she's still in love with her deceased ex boyfriend. I know it's not her fault, but I can't help but think about it. Not only that, but she's had a child with him. Sometimes I feel so clear, and feel like I'm in love with her and don't care about anything. But other days, like tonight, I feel like maybe I should just be her friend while I still can. I'm really torn up about this. I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt her by moving somewhere else. But at the same time, I know it would be so much easier for me if I met someone who didn't have such a history. What should I do?
norajane Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Her loss is still fresh, especially since she's been carrying his child the whole time since his death. That's a HUGE emotional double whammy. She won't always feel as she does right now. Eventually, time will do its work and her emotions will settle down. But it hasn't been very long at all since his death, and she JUST gave her baby up for adoption. If you can't be patient and let her grief and love run its course, then you are not the right guy for her at this point.
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