jimmy08 Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 How often do 2nd chances with an ex work out long term?
TotalChaos Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 This depends on the people involved and the situation. I think sometimes it could work. However, I believe that people are in your past for a reason. There's a reason why it didn't work the first time around. If you really love the person and want to make it work then you will succeed as long as you are both on the same page. That's just a few of my thoughts on this subject.
HopeDiesLast Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 I agree with TotalChaos. Its all up to how much you both want it to work. You both have to give 100%, anything less would equal failure again.
Tony T Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 How often do 2nd chances with an ex work out long term? What would be the purpose of a second chance anyway? If one person was so unhappy they wanted to terminate the relationship rather than work it out then there is absolutely no reason to expose yourself to the kind of pain and hurt that would return again. Seldom do second chances work because the same problem dynamics still remain between the couple. Even if they decide to work very hard at first, ultimately one takes the other for granted again, the problem returns and it's back to square one. Go find somebody you don't have to break up with. Life is way too short!
Ronni_W Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 How often do 2nd chances with an ex work out long term? IMO, it would be 100% successful **IF**, during the 'break', each person had done the necessary self-reflection and self-improvement to eliminate all the maladaptive thoughts, patterns and behaviours that existed in the prior relationship. In reality, that seldom happens...so there is minimal-to-zero chance of it working out any better the second time, than the first.
nopainnogain Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 How often do 2nd chances with an ex work out long term? 1% of the time.
Rafa Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Second chances can absolutely work out, but it's up to the two people involved. The problem is that sometimes relationships can end because people are not entirely honest with each other about what they are really feeling and thinking within the relationship, not even honest with themselves. People have these kind of unconscious agreements with each other in the relationship without even daring to look close enough to know whats actually going on. If both parties can make a new commitment to 'wake up' to what is really happening, and to be honest with each other about what they are really feeling without trying to control each other, and commit to a new kind of relationship - a more conscious one - then a second chance can totally work because you can avoid repeating all the same patterns that messed it up in the first place.
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