TheMuffinMan Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 First, i just want to thank eveyone who reads this. Thank you for caring:) I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year and a half. I love her and she loves me and i tell her i love her everyday. 6 months into the relationship, she gave her virginity to me. I was not a virgin, but it was the most amazing feeling that she choose to give herself to me. After the first several months of the relationship, she started to show me her true colors. She is very self conscience, and she always says that shes ugly, she hates her freckles, shes not good enough for me and that she thinks she needs to lose weight. She is gorgeous and fit, so i always give her the compliments she fishes for. I tell her that i love her and that shes beautiful more than once a day, and there has been times when she tells me i dont says these things to her enough, when in fact, i say them all the time. When she says this, it makes me feel like **** and that im at fault, when she is just insecure. She gets upset when i want to go hang out with my friends, or even my own brother. She will say that i dont spend enough time with her, when we have literally seen each other almost everyday for the past year and a half. I will talk to her about how she acts and she will tell me shes just jelous because i have friends and she doesnt. There was a time when i went to see my brother twice in one week and she got upset because she thought we dont spend enough time together. If we get into an arguement and i get mad at her for something, she will sometimes have a panic attack and tell me not to break up with her when breaking up wasnt even hinted at. If she is at fault for something, she will get mad at me and try to turn it around on me. Then when i get mad enough to the point where i need to leave the room so i dont yell at her, she will grab my arm and tell me not to leave her. I have just recently joined a band because music is my life and i love it. She started saying that the band is going to tear us apart because i wont spend any time with her when i have gone to her see her after every practice. She doesnt share my love for music and she lets me know that by saying that its going to tear us apart. There is even more i could tell you, but its too much and i would be hear for hours. I am now unhappy, im stressed to the point where i cant sleep and my hair is coming out. Im only 18 and just graduated for high school, i dont need this right now. I love her with all i've got, but its killing me to be with her now and i dont know how to break up with her. Of course i dont want her to be with other guys and im also afraid that i will never be able to love someone this much again, even after how she has mad me feel. I know that these are normal feelings that will pass, but i dont want to make a mistake. She doesnt really have her emotions under control and im afraid that if i end it that she will have a mental break down, or worse... She loves me a lot, and i love her, but im unhappy and she doesnt know it. I hide my unhappiness to make her happy and i know i shouldnt. Help me please...
watermeloncandy Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 honestly, she sounds horribly insecure and needs counselling. i strongly encourage you to talk to her about how she's making you feel, what it's doing to your relationship, and that she needs professional help to deal with her issues. she really does have a serious problem. you can either stick with her while she's getting help and support her or end it and allow her the space to do this on her own. you both get on with your lives, and if later on down the line you meet again and you're both single, you can try again....but she DOES NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP. she's going to continue to ruin every relationship she's in until she gets herself sorted out. you can either stick it out while she does it, or walk away. it's your choice, and you have nothing to feel guilty about - you are doing what's best for her and you.
unknown815 Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 I agree with Watermelon. Its so cliche but true that if You cant be happy with yourself and by yourself, you are never gonna make a relationship work. She needs help. I would tell her everything you just said. Be real, be honest. Tell her how you're feeling and suggest she speak with someone. I would NOT leave her UNLESS she refusus to admit she has some issues...
sfsassy Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 First, i just want to thank eveyone who reads this. Thank you for caring:) I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year and a half. I love her and she loves me and i tell her i love her everyday. 6 months into the relationship, she gave her virginity to me. I was not a virgin, but it was the most amazing feeling that she choose to give herself to me. After the first several months of the relationship, she started to show me her true colors. She is very self conscience, and she always says that shes ugly, she hates her freckles, shes not good enough for me and that she thinks she needs to lose weight. She is gorgeous and fit, so i always give her the compliments she fishes for. I tell her that i love her and that shes beautiful more than once a day, and there has been times when she tells me i dont says these things to her enough, when in fact, i say them all the time. When she says this, it makes me feel like **** and that im at fault, when she is just insecure. She gets upset when i want to go hang out with my friends, or even my own brother. She will say that i dont spend enough time with her, when we have literally seen each other almost everyday for the past year and a half. I will talk to her about how she acts and she will tell me shes just jelous because i have friends and she doesnt. There was a time when i went to see my brother twice in one week and she got upset because she thought we dont spend enough time together. If we get into an arguement and i get mad at her for something, she will sometimes have a panic attack and tell me not to break up with her when breaking up wasnt even hinted at. If she is at fault for something, she will get mad at me and try to turn it around on me. Then when i get mad enough to the point where i need to leave the room so i dont yell at her, she will grab my arm and tell me not to leave her. I have just recently joined a band because music is my life and i love it. She started saying that the band is going to tear us apart because i wont spend any time with her when i have gone to her see her after every practice. She doesnt share my love for music and she lets me know that by saying that its going to tear us apart. There is even more i could tell you, but its too much and i would be hear for hours. I am now unhappy, im stressed to the point where i cant sleep and my hair is coming out. Im only 18 and just graduated for high school, i dont need this right now. I love her with all i've got, but its killing me to be with her now and i dont know how to break up with her. Of course i dont want her to be with other guys and im also afraid that i will never be able to love someone this much again, even after how she has mad me feel. I know that these are normal feelings that will pass, but i dont want to make a mistake. She doesnt really have her emotions under control and im afraid that if i end it that she will have a mental break down, or worse... She loves me a lot, and i love her, but im unhappy and she doesnt know it. I hide my unhappiness to make her happy and i know i shouldnt. Help me please... I was a bit like your g/f in my last relationship, and myex was a bit like you. (Though there was also other stuff going on.) Anyway, one thing that I really wish my ex had done is just sit me down, have a talk with me, and say that I really needed to talk to someone. Instead he callously broke up with me for seemingly no reason. (He did tell me a bit later.) In our case we probably wouldn't still be together due to his other issues, but at least I could have tried to rectify it.
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