Lack of intimacy in marriage

[Wired]

Hi I have been married for 10 years and love my wife dearly. I read so often about woman who strive for intimacy and would would like to say that there are husbands out there who crave the same. I have been married for 10 years to my wife and we have two great children. As each year goes by, no matter how hard I try, I see intimacy dropping off exponentially. It upsets me greatly but it is hard to see how to improve things when it seems to be an up hill one sided wish. Other than this, my marriage and family life are perfect. In marriages, do people live with 90% of what should be in a marriage if that 10% that is missing is so important?

Would love to hear views and support / advice

[SnapCracklePop]

Communicate needs. If that does not work... marriage counselling. You will not feel better if one side of your marriage is flat. Once things are on track - it takes effort to keep it going. Those that have gotten their motion back have said it is worth every ounce of effort put into it.

[whichwayisup]

Have you told her how not having a sex life is affecting you? That you need to feel intimacy and have closeness with her?

 

Is she healthy? No depression, tiredness.. Is there any stress?

[quankanne]

what exactly do you consider intimacy? A lot of marrieds shun intimacy because they think it automatically think it means sex, and they hate being pressured into it. But intimacy is actually something simple like a look or a brief touch acknowledging your feelings for that person without necessarily wanting it to end up in a boink-session.

 

of course for me, a truly intimate moment is that time when you talk before sleep, because I've got his full attention and there's something so intimate about that. Other times? Handholding and smooching in public, and the kisses blown through the phone line before we end a conversation.

 

it's not a replacement for sex, but when sex ain't happening, it's a good way to stay connected and there's no pressure to perform.