gummybear Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 I've been out on one date with a guy (met online). We set up for a second date to go to this amusement park all day tomorrow (Saturday) about one week after the first date. We've been mainly exchanging emails all week. Thursday morning he emails me telling me that he will call me after work to talk about the logistics. No call all Thursday night. Thursday morning no email. I emailed him at about 11am today saying "Hi W, I didn't get a call from you last night. Everything ok?" At 12:45 he calls me and leaves this voicemail saying that he meant to call but got wrapped up with stuff and he apologizes. He said he hopes I"m still on for tomorrow. He seems to try pretty hard to express his excitement about the amusement park we're going to. He leaves a pretty long voicemail doing that. Is he worth dating?
Author gummybear Posted October 3, 2008 Author Posted October 3, 2008 And oh, it's 3:30 and I haven't returned his call yet. I'm thinking bout just canceling because the date is gonna be a long one (all day tomorrow starting at 10am). Should I? I don't quite feel like going...
Star Gazer Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 So he missed one call and you're about to write him off??? Really???
Star Gazer Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 And oh, it's 3:30 and I haven't returned his call yet. I'm thinking bout just canceling because the date is gonna be a long one (all day tomorrow starting at 10am). Should I? I don't quite feel like going... You're looking for excuses not to go on another date with him.
Lishy Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 If you wanna date a flakey guy then carry on dating him! This is the honeymoon period when they NEVER forget and are never too busy Imagine what he could be like when the new excitement ends?
Author gummybear Posted October 4, 2008 Author Posted October 4, 2008 If you wanna date a flakey guy then carry on dating him! This is the honeymoon period when they NEVER forget and are never too busy Imagine what he could be like when the new excitement ends? That's how I feel. It's only been one date and he's already forgetting?! I'm just disappointed already Should I cancel?
Lishy Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Oh I am not telling you to cancel and I may be wrong I have recently dated a guy who would forget to call or would forget we had plans - Only he started forgetting a year into the R and I have never felt so frutrated then when he did that, this new guy of yours is forgetting a little too quick IMO Do what you feel comfortable with, remember I dont know this guy so I could well be wrong!
Jilly Bean Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Gummy, no matter what we may like to think in making excuses for why a call doesn't call, we ALL know that if a guy is sincerely interested, he will make that well-known, and the scheduled calls WILL come. Now, he very well MAY be interested, just more on the lukewarm side than the red hot, I would say. Some women are content to date guys who are lukewarmers, Im not one of 'em. I need a guy so far up my heinie in the beginning, he can't see the sunshine. But, I like romantic intensity. It's your call, but I wouldn't bother with him, as Lishy suggested.
Author gummybear Posted October 4, 2008 Author Posted October 4, 2008 JB and Lishy -- I'm gearing towards cancelling...now the question is how do I do that? I think maybe via text? I hate cancelling but better than if we both suffer through a day together and waste a whole day...
Isolde Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 I would go. I don't know why I'm telling you this. I have a gut feeling that you should give him a chance. If you're not into him by the second date, that's still a good time to dump him before anything develops
Author gummybear Posted October 4, 2008 Author Posted October 4, 2008 I would go. I don't know why I'm telling you this. I have a gut feeling that you should give him a chance. If you're not into him by the second date, that's still a good time to dump him before anything develops Hm...okay maaaybe I'll still go. But he's got to REALLY somehow magically impress me on this second date for their to be any further ones hahah.
Capricciosa Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Not that it's any of my business, but given that you are already silently expecting someone to magically impress you, you are setting the guy up for failure. Either go because it might be fun and you might like him, or give both of you a break and cancel. Don't quite know why you made an all day date so soon, unless you thought you really liked him after date one. His not calling has rightly ticked you off and made you wonder, but if you're giving him a second chance it should be a real second chance, and not in terms of how he behaves on the date, but how he behaves afterwards vis-a-vis following up his words with actions.
Author gummybear Posted October 4, 2008 Author Posted October 4, 2008 I find everyone's respones to be very helpful. So honestly, and I mean honestly, is it a big deal that he said he'd call but then he doesn't because he got 'wrapped up in stuff' that night? I mean to me it's a pretty big deal so early on. What does everyone else think? Am I making a big deal out of nothing or is it really a reddish flag?
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 I find everyone's respones to be very helpful. So honestly, and I mean honestly, is it a big deal that he said he'd call but then he doesn't because he got 'wrapped up in stuff' that night? I mean to me it's a pretty big deal so early on. What does everyone else think? Am I making a big deal out of nothing or is it really a reddish flag? I would call it a yellow flag. Whenever this starts happening to me, it almost always means the guys attentions is waning, even if he protests otherwise. That being said, if he was working on a deadline or something like that, then it is most likely that he was concentrating only on work. I used to have a job where I would go through these intense spells of work, and I could think of nothing else but GETTING IT DONE. I think if you were excited about the guy after the first date, then you might as well go. If this continues, then you know the guy is not for you. However, if he really likes you, then he will probably be extra careful to call when he says he will.
D-Lish Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Well I am not sure if I'd want to do an all day date so soon... But I do agree that when someone says they are going to call- they should call. You shouldn't have had to e-mail him to find out what was going on. I'd probably still go just to see if any chemistry is generated. If it happens again- forget him.
Angel1111 Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 You need to go with your instincts on this one. Something is telling you to bow out so do that. It will also send him the message that you won't put up with his forgetfulness. If he has any sense, he won't pull that stunt again.
shykitty Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 I've been out on one date with a guy (met online). We set up for a second date to go to this amusement park all day tomorrow (Saturday) about one week after the first date. We've been mainly exchanging emails all week. Thursday morning he emails me telling me that he will call me after work to talk about the logistics. No call all Thursday night. Thursday morning no email. I emailed him at about 11am today saying "Hi W, I didn't get a call from you last night. Everything ok?" At 12:45 he calls me and leaves this voicemail saying that he meant to call but got wrapped up with stuff and he apologizes. He said he hopes I"m still on for tomorrow. He seems to try pretty hard to express his excitement about the amusement park we're going to. He leaves a pretty long voicemail doing that. Is he worth dating? I'm running into the same problem.
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