amymarieca Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 Ok, so I have been going on dates with people that I have met online for the last 6 months. A couple weeks ago I met someone that I really liked and think is actually worth dating. We have been on three dates so far and slept together on the third. I know that you can't assume you are exclusive with someone just because you have slept with them, but when is the right time to discuss it? I know that he still checks his online profile, which is fine because we haven't agreed we are exclusive. Do you think this means though that he is not that interested in me? I have never dated someone online before so I have no idea how to handle this or what to think.
Jilly Bean Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 The time to discuss exclusivity is BEFORE you have sex. I think if he's still checking his profile, then he is still dating others, and you should probably be as well.
gummybear Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 For me the patttern has always been we date for a few weeks, we agree to be exclusive, we remove both our dating profiles, THEN we have sex....
Star Gazer Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 The time to discuss exclusivity is BEFORE you have sex. For me the patttern has always been we date for a few weeks, we agree to be exclusive, we remove both our dating profiles, THEN we have sex.... While I agree with these responses, neither are responsive to the OP's question. OP - the right time to discuss it is when you're ready for it, and when you wouldn't be able to handle him dating other people. As for checking his profile, you have no idea why he's doing that. Perhaps he's bored. Perhaps he's checking to see if YOU are still online. Perhaps he's still dating other women, or open to it. The only way to know what he's thinking and what he wants is to talk to him about it.
Author amymarieca Posted October 4, 2008 Author Posted October 4, 2008 Thanks for the responses so far. The issue is not the fact that I slept with him. I don't necessarily see that as something that happens in a relationship. Sex in the beginning is all physical anyhow. Call me a whore if you must, but that's what I think. What I really want to know is when is an acceptable time frame to discuss becoming exclusive and removing profiles from the online dating site.
Star Gazer Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 And as I said, IMO/E the acceptable time frame is when you would not be comfortable with him dating other people. Any time prior to that is a bit premature.
Lishy Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 I wouldnt be happy with a guy I was sleeping with sleeping with other girls too!! dipping his wick here and there and then into me .... No way! 3 dates is far too soon to be talking about exclusivity, just enjoy yourself and take it as it comes! I am pleased you have met a guy worth dating .. That is not an easy task lol Good luck
EAJuggalo Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 I'm a guy in a similar situation, we met online we've been out a few times and have slept together. The time is right to discuss it anytime you're not in bed. I still log in to my online account because I get some random emails from women that I'm curious as to what their profiles say. If asked I would take it down but she hasn't asked and I know it's not a problem on my end. It's still early and the relationship could end at any time.
Recommended Posts