serialgf Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 I mean, who spends their typical week in this fashion? I do. Too hectic for just a typical week for me! He seems too uptight for my liking. I think in the end it all worked for the best. I don't think I can stand his height anyway. he doesn't seem like a good match for you. just set the bar a little higher, that way he can't reach it
Balthazar Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 Yes. I'm 5'7". With heels, I go way up to 5'11". Nope 5'5" won't do. I am thinking you need a 6'2'' guy if you know what I mean...
refurb Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 Jesus Christ!! The best relationship I've ever had took MONTHS of interaction before I felt a strong connection. You're about to bail because he didn't send an appropriate email? Keep it up and you'll be alone forever. RF
Jilly Bean Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 5'5" means he's probably 5'3". A few years back, someone set me up on a blind date. They told me the guy was about 5'8". Being 5'6" myself, I had to really get creative with footwear, since I always wear heels. Anyhoo, we met at a bar. The kind with bar stools. And when we sat down, his tiny little legs didn't even reach the bottom bar. He was probably about 5'5". I am just SO not attracted to someone that tiny - even his fingers looked dwarfish. Look at it this way, Shy. Tiny guy, tiny message.
nopainnogain Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 Yes. I'm 5'7". With heels, I go way up to 5'11". Why you keep cheating on me. I cant be a doormat safety net any longer:lmao:
Lookingforward Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 I have only had this problem with eHarmony only. I figured perhaps most people on EH from my area are not looking for "my type"..lol We're both black. That's the only compatibility we have as far as I can see. Hmm - I've heard a couple of worrying things 'bout eharmony - one being they will reject you as unmatchable if you state "no strong religious beliefs" If the only compatability factor they can find is your race...I"d ditch them as a worthwhile site myself.
Author Shygirl15 Posted October 4, 2008 Author Posted October 4, 2008 Why you keep cheating on me. I cant be a doormat safety net any longer:lmao: Whoopsie! Busted.
Jersey Shortie Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Well, firstly, he sounds like he is trying too hard with the blurb you posted from his profile. Secondly, he probably emailed 20 other women with the same message in the subject line and with their screen name and is waiting to see who replies. It's rather lazy but it might not mean he isn't interested. It's hard to have an extreme about of interest in passion in something like internet dating. That doesn't mean it can't grow. At the same time, it was a rather lazy email.
Author Shygirl15 Posted October 4, 2008 Author Posted October 4, 2008 Jesus Christ!! The best relationship I've ever had took MONTHS of interaction before I felt a strong connection. You're about to bail because he didn't send an appropriate email? Keep it up and you'll be alone forever. RF No, I won't. Won't compromise myself for fear of being alone. He's just not IT. And the problem here i not length of communication, it is how he communicates that bugs me. I have never received such an email from anyone online. Anyway, so I decided to send him a "hello back, S****. What's your plan for the weekend?". He hasn't responded. Probably busy handling some of those typical week activities. I wanted to walk away from this with my dignity intact by just closing him out, but now if he doesn't respond back, I'll feel let down in a way.
D-Lish Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 mmm, I couldn't do the 5'5" thing. 5'7" is my cut off- I am almost 5'8' and I like wearing height in my shoes 90% of the time. I also concur that when a guy says his height on a dating profile- always shave off 2 inches. Same with women and age- add on two years:o I worked next to a guy that wore man heels. One day I saw him bend over to pick something up and his pant hem raised up to reveal man platforms. See how he responds to your message- and he will. Then go from there. if you get very little in the next response- then you can cut it off.
Vertex Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Thank God for being 6'2" I didn't know height was this vital to women.
rod_in_gtown Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Well, there's the whole "must keep me interested" thing. I guess he didn't entertain you enough to continue through the remainder of the communication. I for one get tired of always writing and not talking. I'm more of a 1 on 1 conversation kind of guy, not so much of a "let's write endlessly until we're blue and then if you finally get off your high horse then we can maybe have an actual real conversation". So 2 weeks of going through the tedious process of eHarmony wore you out? do you think he's not worn out as well? I guess it's better to reject him first before he rejects you. *tough love over*
CommitmentPhobe Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Why are you posting this? If you're not interested, you're not interested. There's nothing particularly abnormal about his communication or his profile. You seem to be making an unecessary drama out of it for god knows what reason.
Balthazar Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 In all seriousness, the real problem is his email to you rather than his height. I am sure all of us have seen couples where the men are with taller women. Women are getting taller and taller after all! But the email message is definitely problematic; He really needs to put effort in his online dating and less on his other activities.
Serph Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Thank God for being 6'2" I didn't know height was this vital to women. Women DESPISE short men. Usually if you are anything below average height (or even of average height), you are dead and it is GAME OVER before you have ever had the chance to say anything.
carhill Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Recognize this "short man" couple? Guess they figured out how to make a baby in spite of the obvious deficiencies OP, this is a karma thing. When the right man appears on the page or in your life, his one line e-mails or height or busy life won't matter, nor will your little peculiarities. It'll just seem "right". This isn't right. Move on with positive thoughts
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 What is the big deal here? It is just an opening line. What's up? He's just throwing that out there to see if you respond. I'm sure if you do respond the emails will get longer and newsier. Personally, I think that our instant gratification society (which is all of us) is to blame. We want what we want and we want it now. If it's not perfect, send it back. I'm just going to look through these pages and pages of profiles and I'm sure that Mr. Perfect is in there somewhere, flat abs and hefty paycheck included. And be careful guys, the smallest mistake can trip you up. Oops! that email was too short. Next! Oops! You're too short. Next! Oops! Too many activities. Next! Oops! Too few activities. Next! Oops! You're busy and may not get to your emails in a timely fashion. Braggart! Next! I'm not advocating for a lengthy courtship with someone you are not attracted to or someone you feel is a fundamental mismatch. What I would like to see is for people to give others a little leeway, and to recognized that we are all just flailing around, doing our best, and hoping we can meet someone who will love us for all our strengths and flaws. I do not want to date someone who is watching every little move I make just waiting for me to slip up so he can say "Next!" I propose that we put our best collective foot forward and do our best to keep and open mind and an open heart. Maybe, just maybe, we will meet someone who will do the same for us.
rod_in_gtown Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 What is the big deal here? It is just an opening line. What's up? He's just throwing that out there to see if you respond. I'm sure if you do respond the emails will get longer and newsier. Personally, I think that our instant gratification society (which is all of us) is to blame. We want what we want and we want it now. If it's not perfect, send it back. I'm just going to look through these pages and pages of profiles and I'm sure that Mr. Perfect is in there somewhere, flat abs and hefty paycheck included. And be careful guys, the smallest mistake can trip you up. Oops! that email was too short. Next! Oops! You're too short. Next! Oops! Too many activities. Next! Oops! Too few activities. Next! Oops! You're busy and may not get to your emails in a timely fashion. Braggart! Next! I'm not advocating for a lengthy courtship with someone you are not attracted to or someone you feel is a fundamental mismatch. What I would like to see is for people to give others a little leeway, and to recognized that we are all just flailing around, doing our best, and hoping we can meet someone who will love us for all our strengths and flaws. I do not want to date someone who is watching every little move I make just waiting for me to slip up so he can say "Next!" I propose that we put our best collective foot forward and do our best to keep and open mind and an open heart. Maybe, just maybe, we will meet someone who will do the same for us. This is what I wanted to say.... 1000% agree
Author Shygirl15 Posted October 4, 2008 Author Posted October 4, 2008 Nicole Kidman is almost 5'11" so in heels she will be taller than most men anyway. She doesn't have much choice. I'm amazed that some find nothing odd with this kind of communication, especially for a 1st email. I was indeed worn out by a 2 weeks process, but if it fell up on me to write the 1st email, it would have been far from that useless mail he sent me.
Author Shygirl15 Posted October 4, 2008 Author Posted October 4, 2008 Thanks, Cherry. Some of what you said is the reason why I decided to give it another shot and sent a reply back to him.
carhill Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 You are correct (about Nic's height) but, as a world famous actress and celebrity, she would also have a wide range of choices in a mate. Interesting that she went for Tom (Cruise) and Keith, both of whom are a bit below the height averages for males. I used this example to illustrate what I mean by "right". When it's right, it just is. I know a fair amount of women who are exactly like this gentleman, both in style and brevity. Does that make them unacceptable? No, it makes them different. They likely are just as patient with my verbosity Seriously, the important thing here is compatibility. I'm not hearing that from you. I'm hearing frustration and criticism. Those are negatives. I'm not saying that is wrong; rather I'm saying that a good outcome will not flow from such thoughts. You are in charge of you. What's next?
BoerumHill Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Thanks, Cherry. Some of what you said is the reason why I decided to give it another shot and sent a reply back to him. The boy better come strong with that next email. Oh wait, you'll think he's desperate... J/K But seriously, he better have something to say, he's on thin ice. With my eH matches, if they don't have much to say in their 2nd question responses/guided communication/emails, I put them on probation. I don't need an epistle, but something that sparks my interest or makes me want to learn more about them. But if he stays non-communicative or generic/vanilla, you owe him nothing at this point. I used to get matched with female attorneys left and right. They craft documents and come up with verbal persuasion for a living, most of them are extremely communicative. So yes, I find it odd and not consistent with the barristers I have dated. The height thing...makes sense for you...the odd thing is when these gals who are 5'0-5'2" put down 6'0" or above. full-disclosure - 5'8", don't date anyone over 5'5"
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Thanks, Cherry. Some of what you said is the reason why I decided to give it another shot and sent a reply back to him. Glad to hear it. At this point you are not risking much by taking a chance.
Author Shygirl15 Posted October 4, 2008 Author Posted October 4, 2008 I used to get matched with female attorneys left and right. They craft documents and come up with verbal persuasion for a living, most of them are extremely communicative. So yes, I find it odd and not consistent with the barristers I have dated. I once bumped into another attorney on Match.com; his 1st email? "Hello cutie. 555-555-5555, call me." I replied saying I would rather communicate by email only at this point. His response, "sorry, cutie. Can't do. I spend my whole day writing and reading documents/emails, so it's the last thing I would want to do on my spare time". How charming!
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 I once bumped into another attorney on Match.com; his 1st email? "Hello cutie. 555-555-5555, call me." I replied saying I would rather communicate by email only at this point. His response, "sorry, cutie. Can't do. I spend my whole day writing and reading documents/emails, so it's the last thing I would want to do on my spare time". How charming! Charming indeed! Such a turn-off. Especially the "cutie" part, when he doesn't even know you.
Recommended Posts