Beee Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 [COLOR=#0000ff]Have I reached the anger stage or is it just a bad couple of days? I suddenly had a memory come to me yesterday afternoon about my ex... and although to being with it made me incredibly sad (and I thought here we go again) as the hours went passed that sadness turned into anger! I'm angry with him for "tricking" me into trusting him. As some of you may have read previously, when we started seeing each other I thought it was going to be a casual dating thing and didn't take it too seriously... not cause I didn't like him, but because I didn't want to get hurt. Even after a few weeks, he was the one pushing for more commitment. We work together (great I know) and our colleagues, when they found out we were seeing each other, started joking that we were now a couple and while I dismissed the whole thing with a laugh and nah, we're just seeing each other he would be quite happy with the whole girlfriend boyfriend thing. He's the one who started introducing me as his girlfriend and the one who was saying all the right things to "win my heart" over. I'm angry because I believed in that and he has now thrown all that away. My heart is not a prize, it not for winning and then placing on a shelf. He knew I had been through a lot with my previous relationship and had been hurt badly. It took me a couple of months to let him stay over, as I kept telling him, if anything ever went wrong between us I would then have painful memories of him in MY space. He was understanding and didn't push me, but tried to reassure me. Deep down he isn't a bad guy, immature maybe, but not evil. He could have spared me this though, and I'm angry with him for letting me trust him. The question is, do I vent my anger? do I tell him how I feel just so I can get it off my chest? I have tried to exercise hard and to talk to my friends about it, but it doesn't seem to help, the anger is still there. Don't get me wrong, there are moments (like this morning when I woke up) that I still miss him incredibly, but now I'm also angry. We haven't really talked much about the break-up since it happened so I don't know if bringing things back to the surface would help me or would make him run a mile and make things worse for me. (The main part of the reason we are still in touch is we work together, quite closely, 2 doors down from each other, so we need to be on good terms with each other). Should I vent my anger and frustration and talk to him? would it help? [/COLOR]
HopeDiesLast Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 Bee- i think alot of people are going to tell you no, dont talk to him, dont tell him what you're mad about-its only gonna give him an ego boost to get some validation from you. I vented what i felt the real reason for my ex leaving was.....just after he solidified the fact by dating a particular rebound chick. and i had some regret after it- was i too harsh? did i make him hate me? did i ruin any chance of him coming back? but what everyone has told me is this- i stuck up for myself. i told him i wasnt gonna deal with his s hit and his crappy behavior wouldnt fly with me. i told him to take a hike. yeah i was harsh, but it needed to be said. i was sick of being the victim. so contrary to the normal advice given, i did it. at the right time...and i feel better cus im not miss i-want-you-back-im-dying anymore. and the truth is, what you say and do is ultimately not gonna effect whether he comes back or changes the way he feels. it is what it is, ya know? it was hard and it sucked, but ya know what....if its what you need to do to get yourself feeling better- then do it. if you think its going to make it weird at work, maybe you should rethink it. but ultimately, your actions here on out should be for you, not him. i know its easier said than done, and yes i do still miss my ex everyday....sometimes i still regret and second guess what i said, but ultimately im happy that i got to be the strong one and say what i had to. not sure if that helped, but just a thought!
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