b0rn2r0ck Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 Hi, I guess I should start off by giving a little history on our love story. He lives in Kentucky and I live in Florida. We met threw his bestfriend, who moved to Florida and whom I casually dated. As a friend, I went with him to Kentucky where I was introduced to my current boyfriend. We've been dating for a few months in a long distance relationship and he's a perfect boyfriend. My problem is, a couple of years ago he was engadged and in a relationship for a year, and although he assures me that they are over, and I have no reason to believe otherwise, I can't help but think that he still has feelings for her. Also, we are opposites in so many ways, so Im always wondering why he would want to be with me when he could be with someone closer and who has similar interests. He isen't doing anything wrong, I know it is all me, I just don't know what to do about it. I want to be able to trust him and not feel so unworthy but I don't know how. Any suggestions? Thank you.
crimsonrose Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 Hi, I guess I should start off by giving a little history on our love story. He lives in Kentucky and I live in Florida. We met threw his bestfriend, who moved to Florida and whom I casually dated. As a friend, I went with him to Kentucky where I was introduced to my current boyfriend. We've been dating for a few months in a long distance relationship and he's a perfect boyfriend. My problem is, a couple of years ago he was engadged and in a relationship for a year, and although he assures me that they are over, and I have no reason to believe otherwise, I can't help but think that he still has feelings for her. Also, we are opposites in so many ways, so Im always wondering why he would want to be with me when he could be with someone closer and who has similar interests. He isen't doing anything wrong, I know it is all me, I just don't know what to do about it. I want to be able to trust him and not feel so unworthy but I don't know how. Any suggestions? Thank you. with my last boyfriend, whom i dated irl, i always felt afraid he liked other girls. ive matured alot since then but in my current ldr with my fiance, i sometimes feel insecure too, because im kinda a homebody in america, and hes got clubbing and gorgeous girls at his fingertips in australia where he lives. the onyl solution we've BOTH found, as he gets insecure too, is to tell each other EVERYTHING. now, most people can't handle this, but I truly believe its the best way to make an ldr work, because, when you cant see everythign someone does, its hard to trust them. If i speak to a guy, any guy, i tell my fiance. If I daydream about a guy who's not my fiance for a second, I confess (I rarely do that though. mah guys perfect ). And he does the same thing. If he so much as lusts for more than a few seconds over someone else, he tells me and asks for forgiveness. Now, this leads to pain sometimes. But, because he tells me all that goes on in his mind and heart, I know I can trust him. Try to start this with your boyfriend. You don't have to do it as thoroughly as my fiance and I do it, but trust me, it really works. I know his heart inside and out, and because of this, I know that when he says he doesn't like another female, he MEANS it.
Country_Girl Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 In reguards to your question as to why he would want to date someone so differant than himself. Ask yourself, would you want to date yourself? probabley not, I know I get tired of me. Me & my LDR have some common interests, but we are differant in many ways. I'm thankful for the differances because I think it brings us together, you get to share new interests & experiances with another person.
BettyBoop Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Also, we are opposites in so many ways, so Im always wondering why he would want to be with me when he could be with someone closer and who has similar interests. He isen't doing anything wrong, I know it is all me, I just don't know what to do about it. Hi girl! How lovely that you've found someone lovely. I think the biggest issue here is your low self-esteem. Obviously, if he wanted to be with someone else or someone who was closer - he would. You need to start believeing that you're so special that he is willing to have the distance between you two in order to be able to be with you. Regarding his ex-fiancée, even if he does still have some fondness in his heart for her, what is wrong with that? It doesn't mean that he wants to be with her, otherwise their engagement would not have ended? I think you need to start working on your self-esteem and learn to love yourself. Then you will be able to believe in yourself and his love for you. Best of luck!
rinibell-2003 Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 my DF still talks to his ex fiance they are good friends sure i feel a little disrespected towards him for continuing the friendship but there is always that fear they may get back together mostly when the part on good terms like they did but after two years i am over it now but still have lil moments here and there just have faith and just keep doing what you guys have been doing hugggies
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