my friends want me to get over this quick..they are not being understanding anymore..

[alwayssme]

let me ask u a question...if someone were to run u over with a car and leave u deformed...BUT they didnt do it on purpose, it was an ACCIDENT...would that make u feel any better? no right? well its the same thing with my relationship....out of nowhere he tells me hes not in love, he cant help that...and now im starting to realize that he truly lost feelings and wants me out of his life...it sucks cuz everyone is like "well he didnt do nothin wrong, he just doesnt care about u anymore like that"...and these are my friends who at one point have gone through this and I WAS THERE FOR THEM...it took them so long too..now they are telling me to MOVE ON and let all of this go...i kno they want me to be happy but they are not understanding...and now im not saying their wrong..yes my ex fell out of love or whatever and im not saying hes an ***hole and i hate him...all i ask is for them to understand that this hurts...and even though he cant help how he feels, he lied to me about being in love with me and led me on to beleive in a future that in his mind he already knew it wasnt happening......now he threw everything we had away...regardless the pain im mature and i dont hate him for what he did, but the fact that he didnt mean to "not care about me" does not make it any easier....i just wish my friends would understand me...

[CherishG]

I'd hate to say this, and I don't really know ur circle of friends that much,

but from past experiences, friends stick it with you TIL THE END.

They are there for you NO MATTER WHAT...

no matter what kind of situation ur in,

no matter how stupid or how severe the problems u got,

they shouldn't judge you, make u feel that ur stupid for wut ur feeling or going through,

or be so impatient with you during the rough times.

I realized that when I was in the toughest of situations, like for example,

when I got pregnant almost 2yrs ago at the age of 21,

all my so called friends that I grew up with were still in the "party" mode.

I suddenly became this "disease" to the group and they started to drift apart from me because I was dealing with letting my family down and they just didn't understand my situation with my ex (the baby's father),

so when all that happened, thru my roughest moments,

I realized they really weren't my friends...or I should say "true friends".

It actually made me stronger when I lost all of them, because I did it alone.

I may only have less than a handful of close friends,

and they may live thousands of miles from me now,

but I do know that they are true friends.

So hey, LS will give u lots of new friends that are going thru the same rut

ur in, including me cheer up we r here for u!

[alwayssme]

thank u cheri, i had a talk with them...they said their here for me, its just that this is all i can talk about and its driving them insane...soo now im trying to not talk as much about it to them i guess

[Geishawhelk]

When did you break up? And how long had you been going out together?

[trueblue72ny]

sounds like a double whammy. one your ex, and two your friends seem to think you can flip it off like a switch. it takes time that is for sure. so i hope they will be there for you and be a little bit more understanding soon here. friends are the ones we lean on in times like this! i would probably have gone insane without them. i think they are urging you on and want to see you feel better. but they need to understand that it will happen in your own time.

[trueblue72ny]

ps- you can vent here. we are here for you : )

[alwayssme]

When did you break up? And how long had you been going out together?

 

 

we broke up 2 months ago but we still keep in touch..were together for 2 years

[You'reasian]

let me ask u a question...if someone were to run u over with a car and leave u deformed...BUT they didnt do it on purpose, it was an ACCIDENT...would that make u feel any better? no right? well its the same thing with my relationship....out of nowhere he tells me hes not in love, he cant help that...and now im starting to realize that he truly lost feelings and wants me out of his life...it sucks cuz everyone is like "well he didnt do nothin wrong, he just doesnt care about u anymore like that"...and these are my friends who at one point have gone through this and I WAS THERE FOR THEM...it took them so long too..now they are telling me to MOVE ON and let all of this go...i kno they want me to be happy but they are not understanding...and now im not saying their wrong..yes my ex fell out of love or whatever and im not saying hes an ***hole and i hate him...all i ask is for them to understand that this hurts...and even though he cant help how he feels, he lied to me about being in love with me and led me on to beleive in a future that in his mind he already knew it wasnt happening......now he threw everything we had away...regardless the pain im mature and i dont hate him for what he did, but the fact that he didnt mean to "not care about me" does not make it any easier....i just wish my friends would understand me...

 

Alwaysme,

 

I am sorry that you are hurting and that your ex has fallen out of love with you (for whatever reason). Have you considered trying to create the hottest, most intense love you can create....in your own heart?

[mixwell]

I'd hate to say this, and I don't really know ur circle of friends that much,

but from past experiences, friends stick it with you TIL THE END.

They are there for you NO MATTER WHAT...

no matter what kind of situation ur in,

no matter how stupid or how severe the problems u got,

they shouldn't judge you, make u feel that ur stupid for wut ur feeling or going through,

or be so impatient with you during the rough times.

I realized that when I was in the toughest of situations, like for example,

when I got pregnant almost 2yrs ago at the age of 21,

all my so called friends that I grew up with were still in the "party" mode.

I suddenly became this "disease" to the group and they started to drift apart from me because I was dealing with letting my family down and they just didn't understand my situation with my ex (the baby's father),

so when all that happened, thru my roughest moments,

I realized they really weren't my friends...or I should say "true friends".

It actually made me stronger when I lost all of them, because I did it alone.

I may only have less than a handful of close friends,

and they may live thousands of miles from me now,

but I do know that they are true friends.

So hey, LS will give u lots of new friends that are going thru the same rut

ur in, including me cheer up we r here for u!

 

As my grandpa told my father and my father told me when I was about 16 it shouldn't take more than 1 hand to count your "TRUE" friends.. Wow now since I'm older I can totally see what he meant... I have about 2-3 people that I consider TRUE friends in my life as opposed to "good aquantances"

[mixwell]

let me ask u a question...if someone were to run u over with a car and leave u deformed...BUT they didnt do it on purpose, it was an ACCIDENT...would that make u feel any better? no right? well its the same thing with my relationship....out of nowhere he tells me hes not in love, he cant help that...and now im starting to realize that he truly lost feelings and wants me out of his life...it sucks cuz everyone is like "well he didnt do nothin wrong, he just doesnt care about u anymore like that"...and these are my friends who at one point have gone through this and I WAS THERE FOR THEM...it took them so long too..now they are telling me to MOVE ON and let all of this go...i kno they want me to be happy but they are not understanding...and now im not saying their wrong..yes my ex fell out of love or whatever and im not saying hes an ***hole and i hate him...all i ask is for them to understand that this hurts...and even though he cant help how he feels, he lied to me about being in love with me and led me on to beleive in a future that in his mind he already knew it wasnt happening......now he threw everything we had away...regardless the pain im mature and i dont hate him for what he did, but the fact that he didnt mean to "not care about me" does not make it any easier....i just wish my friends would understand me...

 

Its crazy because when I went through my 1st breakup with a 7 year relationship my friend gave me all the correct advice and I didn't follow it.. I'm sure at times it was annoying.. Well he ended up in a relationship that ended and did the same WRONG things I did and I fed him back his own advice.. The thing is that its a lot easier to give advice to someone when YOUR feelings aren't involved. Seems like your friends are there for you but hate seeing you like this and I'm sure you have have talked their ears off about this and you probably aren't listening to the advice given so its at the point where they're saying "just get over it" because as blunt as it sounds you really need to do that and I'm sure they know your story and they want you to overcome this ASAP because as a friend they don't want to see you depressed. Hell my best friend that I consider at times to be unemotional even gave me advice in the beginning and said just move on and stop trying to get back and stop contacting her. After a few times of me venting he straight out said just stop calling her and move on dude.. its spot on as blunt as it was . Just my 2 cents tho.

[alwayssme]

yes, i guess i have talked their ears off for the past 2 months..literally...i guess i should try to talk about this less and move on...i dont want to lose my friends too:o

[Angel1111]

yes, i guess i have talked their ears off for the past 2 months..literally...i guess i should try to talk about this less and move on...i dont want to lose my friends too:o

 

Your friends are being really insensitive - but if that's the way they feel, then I would stop talking to them about it. If they ask you anything, just shrug and say everything's fine. If they don't want to be 'burdened' with your emotions, then so be it. Not very good friends in my opinion. Two months is not that long and they shouldn't expect you to be over this already. It takes long time and they should know that.

 

Just talk to us here, or find a new friend you can talk to.

[alwayssme]

thanks angel..im glad i found this website..i literally was so devasted that i searched in google 'heartbreak forums" lol go figure...but im happy i found it...i think its very helpful..its kind of like therapy

[alwayssme]

and my friends are true friends, they been there for me through alot..its just that they dont know wat else to say i guess...i love them and really dont want this to affect our friendship so imma stop talkin so much about him to them

[mixwell]

yes, i guess i have talked their ears off for the past 2 months..literally...i guess i should try to talk about this less and move on...i dont want to lose my friends too:o

 

Tell me if I'm wrong but I would bet that in the beginning they understood, listened and offered advice and I'm sure you didn't want to hear it and you didn't follow it.. Well now since they've told you their side of it and you STILL keep bringing it up all they really have to say is "get over it" I mean there is only much they can tell you and if you don't take their advice then of course they're going to have the mentality of "I've already told you what I had to say now move on" I can understand but I do know there are times when you still want to repeat yourself about your situation because it helps you vent it out.. Don't take it as a sign of they don't care about you because I KNOW that isn't the case..

[mixwell]

Your friends are being really insensitive - but if that's the way they feel, then I would stop talking to them about it. If they ask you anything, just shrug and say everything's fine. If they don't want to be 'burdened' with your emotions, then so be it. Not very good friends in my opinion. Two months is not that long and they shouldn't expect you to be over this already. It takes long time and they should know that.

 

Just talk to us here, or find a new friend you can talk to.

 

Once you listen to someone and give that person advice and they don't follow it wouldn't you be kinda annoyed that you explained your point of view and your friend didn't listen to you because they still do the opposite and when they keep asking you what they should do and you've told them 34474577 times I'm sure you would be like " I told you already and you need to just get over it" There are only soo many times you can tell someone your problem and have them offer advice that is rejected before you think " WHy should I give advice when the past advice hasn't even been acknowledged ?" Stop talking to your friends because of that?? Its not that they don't care its that they've said what they had to say and (from my perspective) doesn't seem like the OP is listening to them so they don't care because they've already tried to help out and that advice was thrown out the window..

[Angel1111]

I'm glad you found this site, too. You seem like a really sweet and loving person. And having true friends is one of life's greatest gifts, even though they may disappoint us sometimes.

 

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It is so hard to get past it but I think you know that you will, with time. Just talk about it here and we'll listen. We're real people, too, just people you haven't met.

[mixwell]

Yea I agree with Angel.. This website has helped me with a lot of relationship issues.. 2 break ups and other dating questions and input.. Out of the talking to friends/family I felt a lot of comfort here with all the input I received on my various situations.. It also seems to help vent on here too knowning that there are many perspectives and many people going through the same thing together on here.. One day (and I hate to say it because I remember when I was in your shoes) you will look back on this and see how much stronger you've become. When people told me the same thing I used to think "Well it doesn't help me being in the situation currently.. I know it sucks and I'm kinda going through the same thing with an ex of 4mths but I've become stronger and the healing process hasn't been too hard on me soo far. I hate the fact that I still think about her but it gets easier with time.. Hang in there and try to focus you YOU and do positive things to improve your life..

 

Good Luck

[Angel1111]

Once you listen to someone and give that person advice and they don't follow it wouldn't you be kinda annoyed that you explained your point of view and your friend didn't listen to you because they still do the opposite and when they keep asking you what they should do and you've told them 34474577 times I'm sure you would be like " I told you already and you need to just get over it" There are only soo many times you can tell someone your problem and have them offer advice that is rejected before you think " WHy should I give advice when the past advice hasn't even been acknowledged ?" Stop talking to your friends because of that?? Its not that they don't care its that they've said what they had to say and (from my perspective) doesn't seem like the OP is listening to them so they don't care because they've already tried to help out and that advice was thrown out the window..

 

She's not looking for advice. And really there's no advice to give. She just needs to talk about it and know that someone understands. Yes, it can get old if that's all a person talks about or if it dominates all conversations. But, really, not that much time has passed and they are being pretty insensitive. But I didn't say that she needed to stop being with her friends or to stop talking to them. I said that if that's the way they feel about it, then stop talking to them about that particular subject - even if they ask her about it.

[alwayssme]

thank u angel, i really appreciate ur input in this, it makes me feel alot better

[alwayssme]

and mixwell too, i understand what you're saying. thanks to both you guys!

[Angel1111]

thank u angel, i really appreciate ur input in this, it makes me feel alot better

 

:):):)

[mixwell]

and mixwell too, i understand what you're saying. thanks to both you guys!

 

Yea it sucks because I have been in your shoes before.. Stay strong and KNOW that you will get through this. Hell even I'm going through it right now and even though I am stronger about it this time around it is REALLY hard to not contact her.. Its weird having someone in your live constantly and then to have that person just gone all of the sudden. Even as I type this I want to text her or something because I want to be with her still even though I know things wont work out but love is a mother fker sometimes haha.. Anyways I wish you all the luck and we're here for you !!

[Angel1111]

Even as I type this I want to text her or something because I want to be with her still even though I know things wont work out but love is a mother fker sometimes haha..

 

OMG! That's hysterical. Probably the most on-target comment I've ever heard about love gone wrong.