Sad&Lonely08 Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 Last friday i called E at work after not talking for 1week. I Called and told him i was tired of his wishy washy ways and he need to make up his mind what he wanted. It has been 4monhts and we are no better off now then we were then. Are going to do M/C, Legal Separation or Divorce. He said divorce has never entered his mind. We do not need to get a legal Separation i can have what ever i want out of our items or all of it if i want.Told me if i wanted a divorce or sep to get the papers and he will sign what ever i want. He thinks it is not fair i backed him in to a corner..Did i? How?He tried to change the subject and ask me if i wanted the kids. I told him i was going out. I went no where. No one to go with..I know sad. He told me we would talk on Sat Morn when he dropped off hte kids. Told me to have a good time and hung up the phone Sat afternoon he dropped off the kids but could not talk he was running late for work..Likely story. That we would talk at lunch on Monday at the park. Monday came and tuesday went and here is thursday and have not heard from him... Is it because i have called him on his **** that now he is scared or unsure of what he wants..Any advice would be great...suppose to bring hte kids by for dinner tonight...What should i say.
TrustInYourself Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 Be calm. Address your desires with cool confidence. Be positive about all outcomes. Desire nothing and expect nothing. Then evaluate your emotions and feelings after he's gone and you're on your own.
reddog63 Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 Last friday i called E at work after not talking for 1week. I Called and told him i was tired of his wishy washy ways and he need to make up his mind what he wanted. It has been 4monhts and we are no better off now then we were then. Are going to do M/C, Legal Separation or Divorce. He said divorce has never entered his mind. We do not need to get a legal Separation i can have what ever i want out of our items or all of it if i want.Told me if i wanted a divorce or sep to get the papers and he will sign what ever i want. He thinks it is not fair i backed him in to a corner..Did i? How?He tried to change the subject and ask me if i wanted the kids. I told him i was going out. I went no where. No one to go with..I know sad. He told me we would talk on Sat Morn when he dropped off hte kids. Told me to have a good time and hung up the phone Sat afternoon he dropped off the kids but could not talk he was running late for work..Likely story. That we would talk at lunch on Monday at the park. Monday came and tuesday went and here is thursday and have not heard from him... Is it because i have called him on his **** that now he is scared or unsure of what he wants..Any advice would be great...suppose to bring hte kids by for dinner tonight...What should i say. Not sure of story.....assume 4 months separated.........if that is the case you are being way to impatient. I have done reading, I am separated.........biggest mistake i read is that the couples come back before they are ready............both should use this time to work on themselves.....there is a book and I wish i could remember the author.....Separation is in the title, but it is geared to using separation in a good way, productive way, and warns about coming back too soon or for the wrong reasons.......good luck
husbndinthemaking Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 You are definitely being impatient with him. You will gain absolutely nothing from this kind of attitude. Relax and go with the flow. You need to be able to let go of these feelings for awhile if you want things to work out between the 2 of you. Check out zaxxes.com for more info on what helped saved my marriage. Best of luck to you.
TrustInYourself Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 You are definitely being impatient with him. You will gain absolutely nothing from this kind of attitude. Relax and go with the flow. You need to be able to let go of these feelings for awhile if you want things to work out between the 2 of you. Check out zaxxes.com for more info on what helped saved my marriage. Best of luck to you. How are things, HITM?
PWSX3 Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 I have to agree, use a separation to learn what you can do for yourself. I can only use my situation as an example but we separated for 7 months, then got back together for a year & now we are separated & headed to a divorce, but I can see that "I" didn't do the work that I needed in those 7 months to help the relationship grow.
husbndinthemaking Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 How are things, HITM? Things are awesome! My wife and I are taking a cruise in a few days to Mexico. Everything is as good as it can be. I like to stop by here and help others if I can and keep myself educated so I do not slip up again. (I consider it a hobby now. Hehe) We are also gearing up for my daughters 2nd birthday party. Alot of work. Phew! How are you doing?
TrustInYourself Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 Things are awesome! My wife and I are taking a cruise in a few days to Mexico. Everything is as good as it can be. I like to stop by here and help others if I can and keep myself educated so I do not slip up again. (I consider it a hobby now. Hehe) We are also gearing up for my daughters 2nd birthday party. Alot of work. Phew! How are you doing? Same boat. Getting back together was the easy part. Staying together is where it really gets tricky! Things are good though. We're both happy. It's just crazy that it all came to a separation. Sometimes you have to just wake up and realize you can't just cruise through life on auto. I am good though. It's good to hear you both are still working out. Nurses come home with stress. Let me tell you.
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