GroupFitness Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 I know many women, myself included, have adapted this mentality especially in regards to sex. And for the more daring ones of us, you can expand it to "show up, look good, suck d**k, and lay there". I'm starting to realize how crippling this mentality is and how detrimental it is becoming to my sex life. I want to be a full participant to sex, not just a spectator who comes to get off. I'm just going to come right out and say it, I suck at sex and I don't mean that literally. I give a decent blow job but other than that, I don't know how to do much else that will blow my partner's mind. I kiss and touch and caress so I'm not so much a dead fish but I still feel there has to be more to pleasing a guy than this. As a matter of fact, I asked my bf last night that aside from his penis, what other errogenous zones does he have on his body and his reply "none really". nice, huh? So I guess I have to figure them out myself. Most of the sex books I've picked up have only been about how men can please/touch women, never about how a woman can be a full contributor to the overall enjoyment. Guys, what is it that you want women to do to you in bed? and women, can those of you who have picked up a trick or two share?
Federica Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 ..And let's try to keep it resembling close to decent - !!
Geishawhelk Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 Ok, this is a tricky one. I think when it comes to being stroked by women, men are one great big erogenous zone.... really, I do.... Men tend to get turned on by the visual, so wearing skimpy underwear, or stockings now and then, is a turn-on. I once turned up to pick up my partner from a work-do, wearing nothing but my coat..... he thought that was.... interesting.....! My partner is also very turned on by watching me stimulate myself and masturbate, either with my fingers or a vibe....
2sunny Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 i sucked my guys big toe (like it was his goods) the other night while he was having fun behind me... does that give you anything to start with?
Author GroupFitness Posted October 2, 2008 Author Posted October 2, 2008 ..And let's try to keep it resembling close to decent - !! oh right right, as PG 13 as possible, guys:D
Author GroupFitness Posted October 2, 2008 Author Posted October 2, 2008 i sucked my guys big toe (like it was his goods) the other night while he was having fun behind me... does that give you anything to start with? Don't you have to be some sort of contortionist to do that? I'm trying to figure out the position
2sunny Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 if the trust is there - nothing should be off limits... experiment... does he like pulling hair, spanking or biting? none of which is done to cause pain... just for fun and to keep it interesting. what about dress up? that can be exciting too...
Konfuzion Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 May I recommend Lou Paget's book in which I learned quite a bit about myself. Lou Paget's book Or on the flip side this is a great read for them men among us. How to give her absolute pleasure
Ruby Slippers Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 I know many women, myself included, have adapted this mentality especially in regards to sex. And for the more daring ones of us, you can expand it to "show up, look good, suck d**k, and lay there". I'm starting to realize how crippling this mentality is and how detrimental it is becoming to my sex life. I want to be a full participant to sex, not just a spectator who comes to get off. Man, how sad! Do you enjoy sex? I think that's really the key. We tend to be naturally good at things we enjoy. What are your favorite sexual activities? Try those. Most men aren't that concerned about how you're having sex (which positions, etc.), as long as you're having sex. The best lovers are the ones who get off because you're experiencing a lot of pleasure. So, find what you like best and focus on that. I have always gotten rave reviews in bed, and I think it mostly comes down to my passion, desire to give my partner tremendous pleasure, and ability to enjoy my own pleasure.
DeePee Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 The following turn me on GREATLY while having sex. Unfortunately, no one has been able to make my toes curl in the recent years. 1. Scratch my back if you're feeling like I just aced your g-spot. At least dig your nails in cause it feels so good I'm inside you. 2. Grab my member with your index finger and thumb (made into a circle) and tighten/loosen while I'm moving in and out of you. It's like you're stroking me with the "OK" sign (index finger and thumb made into a circle). WOW, I love this 3. Sway your hips in sync with mine. 4. Get on top of me and tease me with the tempo of you moving up and down... touch yourself for extra brownie points. You can do this either facing me or facing away from me (cowgirl and reverse cowgirl). YES! 5. Ride me like a cowgirl while rubbing your clitoris against my pubic bone, instead up moving up and down you move back and forth. The way it feels on me will stimulate various areas of my member at the same time. 6. Stop me mid coitus and just go down on me, and stroke it lightly at the same time. And If I'm about to come, stop and make me watch your masterbate till I'm ready to go at it again and come with you. 7. Close your legs, and have me enter behind you (tell me to do this in a provacative, but classy way) and while I'm doing the deed, squeeze your legs and loosen them so that your vagina is actively playing with my penis. Keep a pillow under your belly and arch your back for extra brownie points. One of my favorite positions. The most important thing is to make sure you're in sync with me. Breathing? Movement? Moans? And, hold me tightly if I'm doing well. It lets me know you're getting off on my ride, and that gets me off.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 ^ I need a cigarette (and I don't smoke).
KinAZ Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 You can start by making sure you do your kegels. Try to get more input from him if you can on what he wants you to do or likes. If you can't get it, find a book. Trust me, there are plenty of books out there, if you can't find the info online. Just do your research.
KinAZ Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 squeeze your legs and loosen them so that your vagina is actively playing with my penis. Her legs? teeheehee
OpenBook Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 and women, can those of you who have picked up a trick or two share? It's more about what goes on OUTSIDE the bedroom, that determines what happens INSIDE it (and me). Oops was that indecent?? Don't want to step outside the guidelines about a thread asking for sex tips. Let me give you an example of what I mean. If I express too much interest/enthusiasm about sex, my guy thinks it's great at first, but over time they get complacent about it, and I end up doing all the work to get him going while HE just lays there. But if I hold back (emotionally and interest-wise) in the relationship, he stays interested and enthusiastic and athletic in bed, and seems to enjoy putting in so much effort to seduce me. It's a conundrum that I have never been able to figure out about men. Act like you don't want them, and they're crazy about you. Act interested, and it turns them off. I will never understand this. So I guess my response to your question is, it really doesn't matter how "good" you are at sex. It's all about how you treat him (and yourself) outside the bedroom.
Shygirl15 Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 The following turn me on GREATLY while having sex. Unfortunately, no one has been able to make my toes curl in the recent years. 1. Scratch my back if you're feeling like I just aced your g-spot. At least dig your nails in cause it feels so good I'm inside you. 2. Grab my member with your index finger and thumb (made into a circle) and tighten/loosen while I'm moving in and out of you. It's like you're stroking me with the "OK" sign (index finger and thumb made into a circle). WOW, I love this 3. Sway your hips in sync with mine. 4. Get on top of me and tease me with the tempo of you moving up and down... touch yourself for extra brownie points. You can do this either facing me or facing away from me (cowgirl and reverse cowgirl). YES! 5. Ride me like a cowgirl while rubbing your clitoris against my pubic bone, instead up moving up and down you move back and forth. The way it feels on me will stimulate various areas of my member at the same time. 6. Stop me mid coitus and just go down on me, and stroke it lightly at the same time. And If I'm about to come, stop and make me watch your masterbate till I'm ready to go at it again and come with you. 7. Close your legs, and have me enter behind you (tell me to do this in a provacative, but classy way) and while I'm doing the deed, squeeze your legs and loosen them so that your vagina is actively playing with my penis. Keep a pillow under your belly and arch your back for extra brownie points. One of my favorite positions. The most important thing is to make sure you're in sync with me. Breathing? Movement? Moans? And, hold me tightly if I'm doing well. It lets me know you're getting off on my ride, and that gets me off. And what do you do while they're doing all this for you??
DeePee Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 Hey, she asked for suggestions from a guy's perspective. But if you must know, I'll give her loads of foreplay, and not just around her lower goodies either. Let your imagination run wild with that one, cause most girls I've been with never expected so much pleasure from foreplay before... or they did but no one's ever given it to them. During the deed, I'll do most of the work, and it's not just straight in-and-out-and-in-and-out. Lots of tempo variations. Lots of coitus interruptus for me to go down on her (just like how I enjoy her doing that for me). Lots of varied pelvic movements, along with manual stimulation above and below the waist. ... what do I do while they do this? Pffft, as if I just lay there and expect her to pleasure me. I expect us to pleasure eachother.
Jersey Shortie Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 Just like women, there are different things that can heighten a man's desire. But the one thing that I have found is always true, guys love to have their neck and ears and the back of their neck, touched, kissed and licked..if you have some nailes..lightly scrape them over the back of his neck..behind his shoulders and back...touch his stomach...run your fingers through his hair...might not give him a boner alone but I think these are all things most guys enjoy. From my experience they are at least.
carhill Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 I'm just going to come right out and say it, I suck at sex and I don't mean that literally. Something tells me you haven't had the experience of truly being in love and having it returned in kind...... When dating, try focusing on the person and not the sex, and wait a bit longer before becoming sexual. IMO, all the tips in the world aren't going to help you have a satisfying LTR unless it's with the right person for you. Something tells me your BF isn't that person. You sound uninspired to me, sorry to say.
Lucky_One Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 I know many women, myself included, have adapted this mentality especially in regards to sex. And for the more daring ones of us, you can expand it to "show up, look good, suck d**k, and lay there". I'm starting to realize how crippling this mentality is and how detrimental it is becoming to my sex life. I want to be a full participant to sex, not just a spectator who comes to get off. I'm just going to come right out and say it, I suck at sex and I don't mean that literally. I really really like Carhill's response. I don't think that learning "tricks" to turn a man on are going to change your basic mentality of "look good, show up and lay there". That reminds me so much of the old joke that colonial mothers used to tell their daughters "Just lay still, let him do what needs to be done, and think of England". If you are really really into your partner, then you will touch him in ways that come naturally to you, based on how you see him respond. He will gauge your responses by how he touches you, and change what he does accordingly, too. As even more time goes on, you grow and expand together, both inside the bedroom and out. It just doesn't sound like you get enjoyment from sex. Learning new positions and kinkier tips isn't going to make you want sex or enjoy it more. Any chance you could discuss this with a GYN? You may have a physical problem for lack of libido. And I would also think about discussing this with a therapist, to see what sort of mental issues you may have for being put off about sex. I hope that you can get this resolved!
carhill Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 I've seen both sides of this and MC has helped me clarify what I was feeling. "Uninspired" is my word. The whole texture of sex changes. I experimented with outside emotional stimulation and intimacy and libido flowed in concert, then waned as I shut off that spigot as part of commitment to marriage and MC. It truly is an inspiration thing for me. The OP's impetuses might be different. I can say, as someone who waited a long time to become sexual and who is thoroughly uninhibited in it, lack of inspiration is very depressing. "Fake it until you make it" perhaps works for some people. I hope it works for you, OP. BTW, when you do see positive words/actions from your BF about something you've done sexually, in or outside the bedroom, pay attention to that. My wife didn't and it really hurt the in-bedroom part. This means you have to listen to him, both his words and body language. You have to be open to that. If you're used to closing off to him for whatever reason, you'll miss it. Good luck
shykitty Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 I know many women, myself included, have adapted this mentality especially in regards to sex. And for the more daring ones of us, you can expand it to "show up, look good, suck d**k, and lay there". I'm starting to realize how crippling this mentality is and how detrimental it is becoming to my sex life. I want to be a full participant to sex, not just a spectator who comes to get off. I'm just going to come right out and say it, I suck at sex and I don't mean that literally. I give a decent blow job but other than that, I don't know how to do much else that will blow my partner's mind. I kiss and touch and caress so I'm not so much a dead fish but I still feel there has to be more to pleasing a guy than this. As a matter of fact, I asked my bf last night that aside from his penis, what other errogenous zones does he have on his body and his reply "none really". nice, huh? So I guess I have to figure them out myself. Most of the sex books I've picked up have only been about how men can please/touch women, never about how a woman can be a full contributor to the overall enjoyment. Guys, what is it that you want women to do to you in bed? and women, can those of you who have picked up a trick or two share? umm...inappropriate.
Konfuzion Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 umm...inappropriate. Ummm too easily offended?
Trialbyfire Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 If you keep doing the same things over and over again, it gets boring and repetitious. Shake it up. Get aggressive sometimes and other times, make him woo you like a virgin. Tease and flaunt until he goes wild. A man's body is so different from a woman's. He's hard and rough in places where you're soft and smooth. Touch and taste all the differences. Use your finger tips, the palm of your hands, every body part to caress. Also, let him know in no uncertain terms how much you enjoy him doing the same to you.
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