SRV Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 I have just recently broken up with my ex-gf of 4 years that we have a daughter with. It was pretty nasty the things that were said. I texted her the next day and apologized and sked her to call me and she has yet to do so. I tried calling a week ago, she would not answer my call even if it was to check on my daughter. At times when we had fights and had NC for a week she would call and put my daughter on the phone knowing well that my daughter is 2 1/2 and cannot talk well. I had a rousing suspicion that she might have been seeing someone else. Two weeks ago she wanted me to go on vacation with the family but I declined because there was too much tension. I need to know how to proceed from here, I have not called or texted her in a week, it is killing me.
Geishawhelk Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 Why don't you actually go round there? Your daughter is probably missing you, and that's who you're going to see. Text her and let her know you'll pop round one evening this week, not sure when, it depends on....I dunno... work? then go the same evening or the next day..... Be nice, be civil, and ask to see your little girl. Then go nicely, civilly, from there.
Author SRV Posted October 2, 2008 Author Posted October 2, 2008 I have tried to be civil with her but she always gives me a hard time.
CaliGuy Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 I have just recently broken up with my ex-gf of 4 years that we have a daughter with. It was pretty nasty the things that were said. I texted her the next day and apologized and sked her to call me and she has yet to do so. I tried calling a week ago, she would not answer my call even if it was to check on my daughter. At times when we had fights and had NC for a week she would call and put my daughter on the phone knowing well that my daughter is 2 1/2 and cannot talk well. I had a rousing suspicion that she might have been seeing someone else. Two weeks ago she wanted me to go on vacation with the family but I declined because there was too much tension. I need to know how to proceed from here, I have not called or texted her in a week, it is killing me. That's your daughter too and as a father you have a right to see her and know how she is doing. Regardless of whether your GF is seeing someone new. I would call and leave a VM stating that you want to see your daughter and as a her father, you have that right. That if the relationship is finished you two need to get together and discuss visitation, child support, etc. It's not right for her to keep your daughter from you, no matter what situation the relationship is in.
Geishawhelk Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 Well just because she can't do it, doesn't mean you shouldn't persist. People, after a while, have a great deal of difficulty being ace-holes, if you're relentlessly nice to them. If you're constantly polite and civil, after a while they really do run out of ammunition and have nowhere to go. Because they then realise they're being said ace-holes, and come to see that it's unfair of them..... I've done it. It's tough to do, but blow me down, it works! Really! Just always be polite, remember the pleases and thank yous, and just retain your dignity. It's awful hard for someone to be a complete beetch in the face of civil dignity....
Author SRV Posted October 2, 2008 Author Posted October 2, 2008 I have requested that we get together numerous times so we can sort out the visitations, I already pay support but not court ordered. I have told her that we need to do it but my pleas always fall on deaf ears. A part of me wants to work things out but the other part does not want to be a part of this whole mess that I am in. That's your daughter too and as a father you have a right to see her and know how she is doing. Regardless of whether your GF is seeing someone new. I would call and leave a VM stating that you want to see your daughter and as a her father, you have that right. That if the relationship is finished you two need to get together and discuss visitation, child support, etc. It's not right for her to keep your daughter from you, no matter what situation the relationship is in.
Geishawhelk Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 Well then you have to get a lawyer. If the softly-softly approach doesn't work, you'll have to take the tougher route. And I hate to sound callous, but do you want to keep in touch with your daughter, or are you more interested in seeing your ex-? Please don't take that the wrong way, because I know how angry, hurt and confused you must be feeling right now. I'm just trying to help get things straightened out in your mind... your motivation has to be fixed right from the start....You have to know what it is you want..... No offence....
Author SRV Posted October 2, 2008 Author Posted October 2, 2008 I want to work it out with her and also see my daughter on the same token. We had said that we would try until a week ago when things blew over from what I said and what she said too. I am angry that she uses my daughter as a pawn, she shuts me out from my daughter whenever we have a disagreement and that's the part that I resent the most. Well then you have to get a lawyer. If the softly-softly approach doesn't work, you'll have to take the tougher route. And I hate to sound callous, but do you want to keep in touch with your daughter, or are you more interested in seeing your ex-? Please don't take that the wrong way, because I know how angry, hurt and confused you must be feeling right now. I'm just trying to help get things straightened out in your mind... your motivation has to be fixed right from the start....You have to know what it is you want..... No offence....
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