Even though 80% of women FILE for divorce

[Bells]

.....I talked with a Christian woman about the whole divorce t hing....and she goes, "80% of women file for the divorces". Her dad's a lawyer.

 

And my retort was, "Yeah, that's not suprising, since men are the ones willing to stick to the marriage vows" or something to that affect...she was a Christian woman by the way, and went on about how alot of men get shafted in the divorce, esp when kids are involved.

 

Anyhow, she goes, "Well, if men didn't take women for granted during the marriage, women wouldn't be filing"

 

SHe stated that, "Husbands tend to take wives for granted, so why would they want to FILE?"

 

For example...not talking abuse her or anything...that the husband just simply takes his wife for granted....expects her to do the cooking, cleaning, and everything else...and doesn't appreciate it.

 

So I found out something from the woman's point of view that the reason women are ALL pretty much filing for the divorces, is mainly because men take advantage of them. Husbands are like "I got a wife now, now I be treated like a king."

 

I thought women did the filing so they could take advantage of the "perks" when it comes to divorce or something...or simply they just grow tired of their man, and find a new one. I keep hearing stories of how "men are expendable, and that's why women dump them."

 

Now I just heard BOTH sides of the story....any feedback to this?

 

Again, these husbands don't abuse nor cheat on them or do drugs.. reason for divorce: "Wives are taken for granted"

[luvstarved]

Yeah I see some truth to this. I think it goes a little beyond the indignancy of not being appreciated for all the nuts and bolts things they do for the men...

 

I think it is the hurt of, by extension, feeling UNLOVED.

[Mz. Pixie]

Well I can tell you, I've been taken for granted before and it's not a good situation to be in.

 

You're making it seem like it's not that big of a deal when truly when you are the one who is suffering it seems like a VERY big deal to you. You think about it everyday, wonder what you're doing wrong that has caused that person to take you for granted. Pretty soon you're angry and resentful over it and you begin to think "I deserve to be happy in a marriage and I'm not"

 

What would you say if your partner just decided one day not to meet your need for sex. Period. You told her how important it was to you and that you were unhappy doing without it but she still didn't care??? How would that make you feel??

 

I say that because women have different emotional needs than men in many relationships. Many women would vote affection or affirmation as their top emotional need. Many men would vote sex their top emotional need.

 

My exhusband thought I should be grateful that he worked, came home most nights and didn't run around at bars. Well heck I didn't do any of these things either but he felt like that's all he needed to do to keep me happy.

 

When you feel unloved by your partner, especially after expressing your unhappiness and asking for your partner to help mend your marriage, it's one of the worst feelings I've ever had. That's what leaves a marriage vulnerable to affairs. Not that it's right that anyone cheats but that is what leaves it vulnerable.

[Ronni_W]

she goes, "Well, if men didn't take women for granted during the marriage, women wouldn't be filing"

Probably a heckuvva whole lotta truth in that.

I'd say it's not even so much about cooking and cleaning...it's about taking for granted love, patience, understanding, ability & desire to forgive -- those things that are generally viewed as "feminine qualities".

 

It's as if men may somehow think that women have a limitless supply of those things. "She forgave me for this same thing a thousand times already...she'll probably do that again, this time."

Then they act all shocked and "bomb-shelled" when she goes, "No, dear, sorry...not this time." Like they never saw it coming. Funny, and stoopid, and sad. For men AND women.

 

(Of course, women may have similar wrong beliefs about men's 'supply' of love, strength, patience, etc.)

[Bells]

Probably a heckuvva whole lotta truth in that.

I'd say it's not even so much about cooking and cleaning...it's about taking for granted love, patience, understanding, ability & desire to forgive -- those things that are generally viewed as "feminine qualities".

 

It's as if men may somehow think that women have a limitless supply of those things. "She forgave me for this same thing a thousand times already...she'll probably do that again, this time."

Then they act all shocked and "bomb-shelled" when she goes, "No, dear, sorry...not this time." Like they never saw it coming. Funny, and stoopid, and sad. For men AND women.

 

(Of course, women may have similar wrong beliefs about men's 'supply' of love, strength, patience, etc.)

 

Right...I was just giving some examples...but it's probably being taken for granted "in general"...more of a blanket statement there.

 

I mean, everyone takes people for granted in a relationship to a certain extent....I know couples that have been married for a while that do that, but one makes the other aware of this...and apologizes....we do sometimes hurt the ones we love....but some just don't give a rats arse.

 

So, in conclusion...I guess women cannot be faulted for filing for most of the divorces?

Men don't file, simply because, "Meh, I gotta wife now...I ain't gettin rid of her"

Kind of a shame.

[Ronni_W]

reason for divorce: "Wives are taken for granted"

No, it's not as easy as that. Within the context of this thread...

Reason for divorce: Husband has exhausted every ounce of his wife's good feelings about herself and about him. He has drained and depleted her of her most valuable (inner) resources and strengths. From her perspective and within her heart, she has nothing positive and uplifting left to give to anyone.

[Ronni_W]

Men don't file, simply because, "Meh, I gotta wife now...I ain't gettin rid of her"

Again, in context. I suspect that men (in these cases) don't file because they have no reason to -- they are not being depleted. Up until she leaves, they are receiving love, patience, understanding, forgiveness...why would they NEED to file?

[rod_in_gtown]

It's all about expectations and maturity, there are some really immature men out there but mostly there are some real lack of realisic expectations from women out there. they expect to go into a marriage and expect to be adored and revered like princesses. I mean, that's all we hear constantly "I want to be treated like a princess", "you must keep my interest", etc.

 

So when they stop feeling like the center of the universe they get bored and bail out. These are the women who eventually (after their 2nd or 3rd marriage) will realize that marriage is *gasp* a partnership, not a monarchy, and that both have to put work into it. Each party has to find happiness in their own right and THEN share it with the other, NOT base their happiness on how the other person makes them feel.

 

I'm in Miami right now staying at my best friend's apartment and I love her to death but we have a MAJOR basic disagreement. I believe that in order to go into a successful marriage, Divorce should not be an option, and she's of the mentality "If and when I get married, if I'm not happy I'll just get a divorce". she's very non-chalant about the whole thing.

 

I feel that women expect us to take marriage seriously all the while they take it as a term-to-term contract.

[jmargel]

It works both ways. Men are just more willing to deal with it more. When a woman has SO many mood swings and she whines about not being happy to us men, it's just another PMS day. We believe that because the next day everything will seem fine.

 

She'll either apologize or go about like the previous day never happened. Us men see that so often that we often let alot of things that women say in one ear and out the other. We have to, because alot of the things said to us are personal attacks and how we are such disappointments. Men become numb to that, we learn not to fight it because it's like picking at a scab. It'll just make it worse. Nothing you say will help the situation so there is only one way to deal with it.

 

Counseling does help, but again alot of men believe when our wives are telling us their troubles it's just blowing off steam. They also feel their wife doesn't listen to them either about their problems. It's one sided. Along with the fact that either

 

1) The wife will hold everything in until she blows up and a war starts or

 

2) She constantly nags and whines to the point that the value of what's being said is lost

 

When things are said so much upsetment is built up that it's not communicated properly and instead of telling us in a good communicative way, the wife just comes out bitching and yelling. This makes us men defensive as well.

 

Tell us what you need in a CLEAR and COMMUNICATIVE manner! We cannot read your minds! Often women leave the marriage because they believe the problem is their 'man', the 'household'. God forbid they think the problem is actually within' themselves. It's easier to blame others and the situation around you then looking within' yourself. To admit fault and take responsibilty to correct it makes you humble which honestly in this day alot of women don't like to do.

 

Women's expectations of 'marriage' and their partner is so high that in reality none of us men can reach it. All we have become are disappointements to you women. You are much quicker to talk to your girlfriends about how your husband did something wrong or talk negative about him then positive. We become an emotional punching bag. Us men are suppose to be your husbands, counselors, fathers, friends, confidants. We can't be them all, especially when we are not communicated to properly.

 

Women use sex as a tool. Men know this and we become resentful because of it. Married men especially, think of sex with thier wife as something very special. This day in age, the married woman thinks of it as a chore. When you withold something so pivtol as this in a marriage or use it as a tool in trying to guide your husband's behavior or to get what you want it's a huge negative in the marriage.

 

So, yes the woman might file for divorce most of the time but they will realize that the problems they had in that marriage often follow them. Until that woman realizes her own faults and learns to communicate properly it will only happen again.

[Bells]

Probably a heckuvva whole lotta truth in that.

I'd say it's not even so much about cooking and cleaning...it's about taking for granted love, patience, understanding, ability & desire to forgive -- those things that are generally viewed as "feminine qualities".

 

It's as if men may somehow think that women have a limitless supply of those things. "She forgave me for this same thing a thousand times already...she'll probably do that again, this time."

Then they act all shocked and "bomb-shelled" when she goes, "No, dear, sorry...not this time." Like they never saw it coming. Funny, and stoopid, and sad. For men AND women.

 

(Of course, women may have similar wrong beliefs about men's 'supply' of love, strength, patience, etc.)

 

Right...I was just giving some examples...but it's probably being taken for granted "in general"...more of a blanket statement there.

 

I mean, everyone takes people for granted in a relationship to a certain extent....I know couples that have been married for a while that do that, but one makes the other aware of this...and apologizes....we do sometimes hurt the ones we love....but some just don't give a rats arse.

 

So, in conclusion...I guess women cannot be faulted for filing for most of the divorces?

Men don't file, simply because, "Meh, I gotta wife now...I ain't gettin rid of her"

Kind of a shame.

[angie2443]

.....Anyhow, she goes, "Well, if men didn't take women for granted during the marriage, women wouldn't be filing"

 

SHe stated that, "Husbands tend to take wives for granted, so why would they want to FILE?"

 

For example...not talking abuse her or anything...that the husband just simply takes his wife for granted....expects her to do the cooking, cleaning, and everything else...and doesn't appreciate it.

 

So I found out something from the woman's point of view that the reason women are ALL pretty much filing for the divorces, is mainly because men take advantage of them. Husbands are like "I got a wife now, now I be treated like a king."

 

I thought women did the filing so they could take advantage of the "perks" when it comes to divorce or something...or simply they just grow tired of their man, and find a new one. I keep hearing stories of how "men are expendable, and that's why women dump them."

 

Now I just heard BOTH sides of the story....any feedback to this?

 

Again, these husbands don't abuse nor cheat on them or do drugs.. reason for divorce: "Wives are taken for granted"

 

I see a lot of truth in this. I've experienced it myself and still have to fight for help around the house. It's like since we became married, I was suddenly expected to turn into the maid and cook and he gets to sit on his @$$ all day. Well, it is better now, but I still have to ask for help a lot when he contributes to the mess and should be cleaning after himself anyways.

[Ronni_W]

When a woman has SO many mood swings and she whines about not being happy to us men, it's just another PMS day. We believe that because the next day everything will seem fine.

That kind of was my point -- men seem to want to think that...no. Let me not generalize. The men I know personally, who have gone through a divorce, it is like they WANTED to blame it on PMS or some other "female condition"...it was easier for them to do that...and then they all, every single one of them, acted like this helpless victim of a "bombshell" when her unresolved unhappiness finally got too much for her to handle on her own, within the relationship.

 

What do guys think happens to the unhappiness that was expressed? WHERE do they think it goes? . I've honestly wondered about that ever since my ex told me that he thought everything was fine JUST because I was talking to him, and smiling.

I was like, "Did you REALLY need me to walk around like a miserable effin witch 24 hours a day, for you to take my words seriously? And, exactly how long would you have needed me to do that, for you to realize that I honestly wasn't kidding when I said our marriage was in SERIOUS trouble?"

 

That freaks me out, that some guys may want, need or expect something like that from their partners -- for 'us' to just project sheer, unadulterated misery until 'you' got it...how long WOULD it take for 'you' to get fed-up and file? Or go have an affair, or whatever? One way or another put us both out of our misery, I mean. How long? I swear...I will do that, and then 'you' can go and do all the filing that needs to be done.

 

Rod, I honestly wish that men would also want to be treated like princes and kings. And then, if men and women would resolve to treat each other like they themselves want to be treated...can you imagine if we all started treating our partners like royalty, and were treated that way in return? :love:

[a4a]

That kind of was my point -- men seem to want to think that...no. Let me not generalize. The men I know personally, who have gone through a divorce, it is like they WANTED to blame it on PMS or some other "female condition"...it was easier for them to do that...and then they all, every single one of them, acted like this helpless victim of a "bombshell" when her unresolved unhappiness finally got too much for her to handle on her own, within the relationship.

 

What do guys think happens to the unhappiness that was expressed? WHERE do they think it goes? . I've honestly wondered about that ever since my ex told me that he thought everything was fine JUST because I was talking to him, and smiling.

I was like, "Did you REALLY need me to walk around like a miserable effin witch 24 hours a day, for you to take my words seriously? And, exactly how long would you have needed me to do that, for you to realize that I honestly wasn't kidding when I said our marriage was in SERIOUS trouble?"

 

 

Yep R I would have to agree.... my H thinks things trigger my anger with him. No I am still pissed about July 23 2005!

 

Seriously my H is exactly as you describe.... thus he is getting the bootola!

 

I have asked him this exact question. Do I need to be yelling at you 24/7 for you to understand that I am pissed about the way that you treat me?

 

I cannot nor do I have the desire or time to punch him in the head every 2 hours to remind him his behavior is not acceptable. I did ask him if a remote control shock collar would help.......

 

"I thought everything was fine...... it's like things are great for a couple of days.... and then...... "

 

DOH!!

 

How can they think everything is fine when they have not changed their own behavior??? Oh thats right because I didn't stab you in the head with the fork for 2 days in a row. So of course "we are happy".

 

(now I have a desire to punch the H in the head - see what you started)........ The hurt and anger don't just disappear magically. It is there always until the behavior changes-and then there is a long period of "getting over" the hurt and anger/resentment.

 

Maybe this is where men and women think very differently???

[Ronni_W]

(now I have a desire to punch the H in the head - see what you started)....

My bad, a4a...don't do anything that'll have me up on 'accomplice' charges, wouldja be sure not to???

 

I don't know if it is a "gender thing"...but sometimes it sure does feel that way. Well, I know it's not. There are also women, though fewer in numbers perhaps, who are afraid of emotions, theirs and others'.

 

Individuals who have that fear tend to also fear conflict (seeing in it the very "negative" emotion of anger.) I think that's at the root of it. When it's a guy doing it about a woman, PMS and mood swings are an absolute great cop-out. They get to blame female hormones and then safely bury their heads in the sand...until we shove the divorce papers right up...in front of their noses!

 

I'd love to see 'emotional fluency', 'positive communication' and 'negotiation & conflict resolution' as mandatory subjects starting in pre-school. I really would. (Until then, parents PLEASE educate yourselves so you can educate your kids, about this. Make the madness stop!!!)

[Ronni_W]

How can they think everything is fine when they have not changed their own behavior??? Oh thats right because I didn't stab you in the head with the fork for 2 days in a row.

HELP! Call the paramedics. I cannot stop laughing!!! The situation is becoming grave!

 

Maybe we need to start doing exactly that? But you know what? -- Sadly, I STILL don't think they'd get it. They'd just find ANOTHER hormone or "girl thing" to blame, or label us psychotic...and just continue to ignore/avoid/deny their own contributions.

 

Would be sooo interesting to hear a(n intelligent) man's perspective and/or experience. Or even, to hear from TWO of them .

[Mz. Pixie]

Women use sex as a tool. Men know this and we become resentful because of it. Married men especially, think of sex with thier wife as something very special. This day in age, the married woman thinks of it as a chore. When you withold something so pivtol as this in a marriage or use it as a tool in trying to guide your husband's behavior or to get what you want it's a huge negative in the marriage.

 

 

I can promise you that I do not use sex to manipulate my husband- if anything its the other way around. :lmao:

 

I actually agree with alot that you've said J. What happens though is that women expect to be treated the same way when they were being wooo'd. Then that doesn't happen many times because the man thinks that he's got you now so he doesn't have to do that.

 

I myself have always communicated clearly and honestly about what I expect from a relationship.

[reddog63]

I can promise you that I do not use sex to manipulate my husband- if anything its the other way around. :lmao:

 

I actually agree with alot that you've said J. What happens though is that women expect to be treated the same way when they were being wooo'd. Then that doesn't happen many times because the man thinks that he's got you now so he doesn't have to do that.

 

I myself have always communicated clearly and honestly about what I expect from a relationship.

 

 

This thread is such a crock on doo doo. Both sides are responsible. Both sides do not treat each other the same and take the other for granted. How many guys out there still get the same amount of BJ's he did before marriage?? or sex in general?? Or is this the chicken and the egg situation..........where you will tell me next that this only happens after the hubby starts taking you for granted??

[a4a]

This thread is such a crock on doo doo. Both sides are responsible. Both sides do not treat each other the same and take the other for granted. How many guys out there still get the same amount of BJ's he did before marriage?? or sex in general?? Or is this the chicken and the egg situation..........where you will tell me next that this only happens after the hubby starts taking you for granted??

 

Mine does. Actually I told him if we are to remain married we must have sex at least 3x per week..... norm is a Bj in there somewhere.

 

What I no longer do is say " I love you"...... cook meals for him..... make him lunch....... no back rubs..... and I do blurt out "Dick" on occassion when the mood strikes.

 

I will not go without sex simply because I am unhappy with the individual I am involved with.

 

 

BTW when he ate the wedding cake..... the sex plummeted! All the "affection" went..... and yeppers...... he took me for granted.

I will not tolerate it. I have too much to offer for another that is willing to give back.

[Trialbyfire]

My ex-H cheated on me so I exited the marriage. Having said that, if he had made me feel like I had to nag aka never listened but more importantly never understood/cared to understand, I would have been long gone. There's nothing worse than having to nag or getting nagged.

 

Also, if you consider the pursuit period of getting your little woman, why would you put so much effort into something short-term, pretending to be something you're not, when it's the long-term that matters? Men, get realistic and be yourselves. If you can't get the girl without it, that's okay too. In pretending to be someone you're not, you setup unreasonable expectations. You enable princess expectations so I don't even want to hear about unreasonable expectations.

 

Men are born with natural wax build-up. Women are born with mini-decoder rings, looking for clues.

 

With this in mind, listen to your mates. Attend to them or they'll be gone whether it's emotionally, physically or both.

[angie2443]

How many guys out there still get the same amount of BJ's he did before marriage?? or sex in general?? Or is this the chicken and the egg situation..........where you will tell me next that this only happens after the hubby starts taking you for granted??

 

And do the women still get the same amount of forplay and oral sex (performed on the women) as they did in the beginning? Anyone care to answer these questions?

[a4a]

And do the women still get the same amount of forplay and oral sex (performed on the women) as they did in the beginning? Anyone care to answer these questions?

 

Oh you know that doesn't matter....... women don't like or want sex!

 

We want shoes and flowers!

[jmargel]

This is exactly what I'm talking about. When you say/do one thing one day, then another the next day you are NOT consistent. When you act like things are normal, we believe these things are back to normal. Same goes for us. If us guys are pissed, upset, hurt and tell you.. then the next day act like nothing is bothering us you are going to assume that things have gotten better.

 

What's even worse is when us men, the following day ASK you if you are ok, 99% of you women will say 'Yes'. You women don't follow through, you expect us to take the leads and feel what you are going through. We can't. If something is upsetting you, TALK to us about it in a constructive, communicative way. Do it until it's drilled into our heads. For some guys it might mean saying it twice, for others it might mean a month of saying/acting it. It's not our fault when you women continue to hide your emotions and give bits and pieces of it over a period of time.

 

Mine does. Actually I told him if we are to remain married we must have sex at least 3x per week..... norm is a Bj in there somewhere.

 

What I no longer do is say " I love you"...... cook meals for him..... make him lunch....... no back rubs..... and I do blurt out "Dick" on occassion when the mood strikes.

 

I will not go without sex simply because I am unhappy with the individual I am involved with.

 

 

 

BTW when he ate the wedding cake..... the sex plummeted! All the "affection" went..... and yeppers...... he took me for granted.

I will not tolerate it. I have too much to offer for another that is willing to give back.

 

My point exactly. You don't communicate with him, he doesn't communicate with you and look where it's at now. You two are too worried about licking your own wounds instead of trying to make it work. In your marriage and all the others, there was something there that made you two fall in love. And it shouldn't be because 'He treated me like a princess back then', that's not what will sustain a marriage. A man treating his woman like a princess for the first year is due to the infactuation, the puppy dog love stage. There needs to be more of a substance behind that.

 

For one day think about what YOU can do to change your marriage. Think about what THEY maybe feeling. Put yourself in THEIR shoes for a day. Think about the things you say (such as calling your husband a dick), that is ABUSE. You have NO idea how much this hurts the marriage. Doesn't matter if it's said out of anger/emotion or not. This is why like I said before, guys become 'numb' to alot of this and what you say because we often become your emotional punching bags. We let it in one ear and out the other, however in the process we distance ourselves from you. This is why we start doing less, not doing the little things anymore, not showing affection. We push away. Has nothing to do with 'chores' or how much we help around the house, it has to do with communication.

[Trialbyfire]

This is exactly what I'm talking about. When you say/do one thing one day, then another the next day you are NOT consistent. When you act like things are normal, we believe these things are back to normal. Same goes for us. If us guys are pissed, upset, hurt and tell you.. then the next day act like nothing is bothering us you are going to assume that things have gotten better.

 

What's even worse is when us men, the following day ASK you if you are ok, 99% of you women will say 'Yes'. You women don't follow through, you expect us to take the leads and feel what you are going through. We can't. If something is upsetting you, TALK to us about it in a constructive, communicative way. Do it until it's drilled into our heads. For some guys it might mean saying it twice, for others it might mean a month of saying/acting it. It's not our fault when you women continue to hide your emotions and give bits and pieces of it over a period of time.

 

 

 

My point exactly. You don't communicate with him, he doesn't communicate with you and look where it's at now. You two are too worried about licking your own wounds instead of trying to make it work. In your marriage and all the others, there was something there that made you two fall in love. And it shouldn't be because 'He treated me like a princess back then', that's not what will sustain a marriage. A man treating his woman like a princess for the first year is due to the infactuation, the puppy dog love stage. There needs to be more of a substance behind that.

 

For one day think about what YOU can do to change your marriage. Think about what THEY maybe feeling. Put yourself in THEIR shoes for a day. Think about the things you say (such as calling your husband a dick), that is ABUSE. You have NO idea how much this hurts the marriage. Doesn't matter if it's said out of anger/emotion or not. This is why like I said before, guys become 'numb' to alot of this and what you say because we often become your emotional punching bags. We let it in one ear and out the other, however in the process we distance ourselves from you. This is why we start doing less, not doing the little things anymore, not showing affection. We push away. Has nothing to do with 'chores' or how much we help around the house, it has to do with communication.

jmargel, you're displaying exactly my point. I see no reason why women should always be the clear communicators in the relationship. Perhaps it's time men learn to clearly communicate and appreciate what they have. We're not your mothers. We're your partners. Think business deal with a partner. Do you suppose one partner relies on the other partner to nag the crap out of them until they finally listen? Guaranteed this doesn't happen in business or men-to-men friendships.

 

To take no responsibility for the "infatuation" period is like saying, I'm not responsible for myself as an adult. You're responsible for me and the entire relationship.

[a4a]

This is exactly what I'm talking about. When you say/do one thing one day, then another the next day you are NOT consistent. When you act like things are normal, we believe these things are back to normal. Same goes for us. If us guys are pissed, upset, hurt and tell you.. then the next day act like nothing is bothering us you are going to assume that things have gotten better.

 

What's even worse is when us men, the following day ASK you if you are ok, 99% of you women will say 'Yes'. You women don't follow through, you expect us to take the leads and feel what you are going through. We can't. If something is upsetting you, TALK to us about it in a constructive, communicative way. Do it until it's drilled into our heads. For some guys it might mean saying it twice, for others it might mean a month of saying/acting it. It's not our fault when you women continue to hide your emotions and give bits and pieces of it over a period of time.

 

 

 

My point exactly. You don't communicate with him, he doesn't communicate with you and look where it's at now. You two are too worried about licking your own wounds instead of trying to make it work. In your marriage and all the others, there was something there that made you two fall in love. And it shouldn't be because 'He treated me like a princess back then', that's not what will sustain a marriage. A man treating his woman like a princess for the first year is due to the infactuation, the puppy dog love stage. There needs to be more of a substance behind that.

 

For one day think about what YOU can do to change your marriage. Think about what THEY maybe feeling. Put yourself in THEIR shoes for a day. Think about the things you say (such as calling your husband a dick), that is ABUSE. You have NO idea how much this hurts the marriage. Doesn't matter if it's said out of anger/emotion or not. This is why like I said before, guys become 'numb' to alot of this and what you say because we often become your emotional punching bags. We let it in one ear and out the other, however in the process we distance ourselves from you. This is why we start doing less, not doing the little things anymore, not showing affection. We push away. Has nothing to do with 'chores' or how much we help around the house, it has to do with communication.

 

:lmao:

 

Nobody has communicated more clearly than I have.

 

and in my case he is full of communications - I will, I want to, I know I should, I promise, ................ Liar - I mean Dick!

 

And you cannot be much clearer to state "I am not having sex with you because I love you..... I am having sex with you because I am horny"

 

Dude...... when are you going to realize just because a man is a man - this does not make him wonderful person.

 

Some men deserve to be called a Dick!

 

He still doesn't want a divorce because he knows he has it made with me.

 

In this case a shrink cannot even cope with him.

 

In this case he will tell you flat out he is a Dick to me and he doesn't know why...... and I don't care why he is a dick to me at this point. I have put myself in his shoes for 2 years trying to fix this...... I am not licking any wounds I am venting here. I am beyond wounded and now I just don't care about his feelings...... much like he doesn't care about mine.

 

So no ...... it is not always both sides. Sometimes you just have a selfish individual and the other person just gets tired of it.

[angie2443]

Oh you know that doesn't matter....... women don't like or want sex!

 

We want shoes and flowers!

 

I like them all, I just like the sex better!