ioncebelieved Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 Just as Rome was not built in a day. I am starting to understand this feeling so many of us here on Love Shack are going through. It did not take one day to fall in love, well for me it did not, but it did not take very long either. Now it makes sense why it takes the time to heal. They say it takes 3 weeks to make something a habit or it takes half as long to heal as the time you were together. Like if you dated for a year it should take 6 months to heal and get over it. Not sure if I agree with all of the time thrown around, but I do agree with if you finally let go of the hope you have held for so long, you will be far better off. I, just like most of us here have struggled with NC and the pain. Take comfort in knowing once you decide to move on and your mind and heart get together on this, the better off you will be. Happiness is really a frame of mind. Once you take an active step to quit thinking about the ex, you will be that much closer. For me what is helping is thinking about my future with someone else and how I have learned from my horrible experience after my ex. I am great and my ex is the only loser that could have had me.
kizik Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 IOB, good to see you here. You're right, you ARE great. Plus, you're a lot of fun and you have a great attitude. I just wrote a thread about how, after 5 months and a number of exciting life changes, I still think about her a lot. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm f*cking human and I'm not going to apologize for it, or pretend I don't have feelings.
Author ioncebelieved Posted October 2, 2008 Author Posted October 2, 2008 Thanks man! Just sent you a PM!! You have been missed here my friend!!
wareagle Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 It's been almost 7 months for me with NC and I too still think about her everyday! I sometimes get mad at myself for it cause for some reason I think I should be over it by now! No other relationship that I have been in has taken this long to heal! I have to say that I am way better now than I was in the beginning, and better than I was a month ago! I want to get her out of my head!! I don't long for her anymore and I know that this was the best decision she could have made for us both ( well I should say for me cause I know she will never be with anyone who treated her better than me) I just wish she would leave my head! I guess only time will tell if that will happen!
Author ioncebelieved Posted October 2, 2008 Author Posted October 2, 2008 It's been almost 7 months for me with NC and I too still think about her everyday! I sometimes get mad at myself for it cause for some reason I think I should be over it by now! No other relationship that I have been in has taken this long to heal! I have to say that I am way better now than I was in the beginning, and better than I was a month ago! I want to get her out of my head!! I don't long for her anymore and I know that this was the best decision she could have made for us both ( well I should say for me cause I know she will never be with anyone who treated her better than me) I just wish she would leave my head! I guess only time will tell if that will happen! I am sitting there right beside on the I thought it would take longer boat!! Like you, I still think of ex, but just not as much as I have finally let go of hope. Does not mean I do not love her or miss the hell out of her, I just wised up and finally let go. One day if she came around and came correct and I was not into someone else, I would entertain the idea of working things out...she would just have to give 150 percent effort. Wareagle, we are on the same page with our thoughts and feelings, not to mention GREAT PEOPLE!!! Too bad our exs could not see our greatness.
lofi_tokyo Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 I'm in the same boat. I've totally let go of the idea of my ex and I getting back together. Right now I really would NOT want him back, and I'm actually pretty happy not talking to him either. Its nice having space. I think of him each day, the feelings are pretty numb though... like, its not longing, its not missing him its just... thinking of something about him. I mean, occasionally I miss him, but not enough to wish for things back. As you said Ionce, if a long long long time from now (I'm talking years from now), we talked, and I was not involved with anyone, and we still had things in common, I'd entertain the idea of getting back together... but right now, not really even something I want. Theres just too much **** going on. Letting go I think is one of the first big steps you need to make. And I think its an active decision too. Once you do that... we'll you still think about the ex, but it just fades out more and more each day... feels good!
Author ioncebelieved Posted October 3, 2008 Author Posted October 3, 2008 I'm in the same boat. I've totally let go of the idea of my ex and I getting back together. Right now I really would NOT want him back, and I'm actually pretty happy not talking to him either. Its nice having space. I think of him each day, the feelings are pretty numb though... like, its not longing, its not missing him its just... thinking of something about him. I mean, occasionally I miss him, but not enough to wish for things back. As you said Ionce, if a long long long time from now (I'm talking years from now), we talked, and I was not involved with anyone, and we still had things in common, I'd entertain the idea of getting back together... but right now, not really even something I want. Theres just too much **** going on. Letting go I think is one of the first big steps you need to make. And I think its an active decision too. Once you do that... we'll you still think about the ex, but it just fades out more and more each day... feels good! Letting go was something I really have struggled with for a long time. I should have let go well over a year ago and I knew I was wasting my time and life away on her. But that small thing called Hope had me to the wall. Finally my head beat my heart!! The pain has diminished a lot and in time, I will be fully recovered and a way better person. But I still am GREAT as you are Tokyo!!!! I don't throw the word great around to be egotistical. I throw it around because it is in fact true!
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