Lilmsperfect Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 I have been with my partner for 2 years and i love him with all my heart but i cant stop cheating. some people might say well you dont love him if you cheat but i do. I do need alot of attention and he gives it to me when im with him but if i am out with the girls i cheat. I also seem to accuse him of doing so and become very paronoid even though i no he hasnt. When i first cheated i told him and it was a weight off my shoulder and he told me he had done the same we had only been together a few months at that point but then the guilt was not there any more and i didnt feel the need to tell him. The people i cheated on him meant nothing to meand were just a bit of fun but i was silly andcheated on him abit colse to home and am now worried it will come out and i will loose the love of my life forever. All i want to do is to tell him everything about me but it seems to be holding me back i dont want to loose him but i no if i tell him i will i am %100 sure! I have cheated on him alot more than once or twice and i hate yself for it now. I went out with the girls and was doing so well i told myself right this is it a new start and i messed up once again i just want to no why i do these silly things the only thing i can put it down to was my childhood and the affection i didnt recieve from my parents is this it or could there be another reason for why i do these stupid things?! Please Help what should i do!!!!
konfuzd Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 He deserves to know what's going on. You either need to set up an open relationship scenario where you both agree to see other people, or you need to break up with him. It's not fair to him for to put up a false front of fidelity, and go around acting like a hooch. You don't love him, because love requires respect; sleeping with other people without his knowledge is selfish and disrespectful. You could be exposing him to STD's or you could end up pregnant with some other dude's child.
TigerCub Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 I agree with Konfuzd But you wont tell him because you're too selfish. We all have different issues from out childhoods or just general bad experience from life, but we don't all use them as excuses to hurt the people we "love". You need to grow up and be honest, and for just a few minutes put yourself in your bf's shoes, how would you feel if it was the other way around and what would you think you deserve then. If you truly do love him and think that you act out because of issues from your childhood, I suggest you talk to a therapist and deal with those issues.
lkjh Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 Cheating is a choice and a habit. You need to come clean and keep yourself out of situations that could end in you cheating. You can potentially give your bf a disease and this is not something you do to someone you love. Confess and seek help before its to late. Have you cheated with people he knows?
Vertex Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 Yeah, this is not very acceptable behavior, no matter how you slice it. Not only are you exposing your boyfriend to disease risk, but you're being dishonest and unfair to him. If you loved your boyfriend, then you would want the best for him, correct? Does he not deserve respect and honesty? Yes, there is a fairly large risk of losing him if you come clean, but sometimes you have to do what's right. We all need to deal with the consequences of our actions. If you were indeed truly remorseful about cheating, you would stop immediately, but it seems like your drive for personal pleasure and instant gratification overrides the idea of being fair and faithful to someone you supposedly love. Is it because he had cheated once before as well, so you feel that it's somehow better because you think he'd be more "accepting" of such behavior, but now you're feeling guilty because you're pretty sure he's remaining faithful? No matter how you slice it, it's not acceptable or justifiable, and you really do need to be upfront and honest with your boyfriend. You never know -- he may be able to forgive it, he may not.
Bryanp Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 Let me see if I have this right: You love your boyfriend with all of your heart and have been with him for 2 years. Everytime you go out for the most part you end up cheating on him. You would prefer to never tell him and continue to cheat on him. You would prefer to have a relationship based on lies and deceit. You prefer to disrespect and humiliate him as a man and totally show distain for your relationship. If you can do all of these things and say with a straight face that you love your boyfriend with all of your heart then you are one twisted person. You need to seek therapy and be honest with your boyfriend. What you are doing to him is so hurtful and demeaning to him. Why would you treat somebody you say you love with such contempt. Do you know what love is because you are not practicing it. Be honest with your boyfriend and seek out therapy. Good luck.
islandboy786 Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 wow !!!!! u need to come clean it isnt right that your doing your other half like that. at least be honest and then what happens from there is all a ? on his part
bish Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 I have been with my partner for 2 years and i love him with all my heart but i cant stop cheating. some people might say well you dont love him if you cheat but i do. Well then tell him that and see if he thinks you love him after boning other men. I do need alot of attention and he gives it to me when im with him but if i am out with the girls i cheat. I also seem to accuse him of doing so and become very paronoid even though i no he hasnt. Thats what cheaters do. They project their own despicable behavior on their betrayed partner so as to have it in their own minds, "well if he's cheating, then so can I". The people i cheated on him meant nothing That makes no difference whatsoever. And if you think it does, then tell him and see what he thinks. to meand were just a bit of fun but i was silly andcheated on him Silly? yet you keep doing it over...and over.....and over. Are we missing something here with that statement? To say it was "silly" should be to imply that it happened once and it was "silly". abit colse to home and am now worried it will come out and i will loose the love of my life forever. Maybe losing him is what needs to happen for you to learn a lesson. All i want to do is to tell him everything about me but it seems to be holding me back i dont want to loose him but i no if i tell him i will i am %100 sure! I have cheated on him alot more than once or twice and i hate yself for it now. I went out with the girls and was doing so well i told myself right this is it a new start and i messed up once again i just want to no why i do these silly things the only thing i can put it down to was my childhood and the affection i didnt recieve from my parents is this it or could there be another reason for why i do these stupid things?! Please Help what should i do!!!! If you aren't going to tell him, then maybe going out with the girls should be over. I think you should tell him and take your chances. As someone who was denied that information about my gf, who I ended up marrying, having kids with, only to find out later when the damage was much greater, I resent the hell out of her for keeping that information from me. now 2 kids are involved in the mess. Don't waste years of his life. tell him. And if you are too chicken to tell him, then stop going out with the girls. You obviously can't handle the partying. and if you think it is unreasonable that you don't get to go out with the girls, then you need to tell him. You have a choice, make it. Honestly, I'd say break up with him because you don't deserve him. And he doesn't deserve this. But if you don't tell him and he finds out years later, and don't think he won't....I did, then the damages and consequences will be far worse than losing him at this stage in life.
Geishawhelk Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 'I can't help myself, it just happens', is the biggest piece of boules-sheet anyone could ever utter. Fhe fact is you can, and it doesn't. You just choose to let it happen. The big question, is why? Why would you deliberately sabotage something that you say is so loving? That's what you need to find out. Why you actually permit yourself, or seek to be unfaithful.
vertigocidic Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 This can't be real... it's a troll, or she's 16. I prefer the former.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 Someone admits to cheating and reaches out to us on LS and you think it's a troll? hmmmm... I believe you can love someone and still cheat. It happens, ask any cheater. There are many things you can love about someone but there is usually something missing. Sometimes it's something small you can overlook. Other times it's something that the guy at the bar possesses, and you with your lack of self-control, thinks it's okay to act on your lustful feelings. You need to find a way to tell yourself it's not okay to act on those feelings. It's disrespectful to your relationship, to him, and to yourself. Put yourself in his shoes. Would you be okay if he did this to you? Even if you think he loves you so much he would never do it, you have to try and think this could happen to you too. You have to convince yourself that there is nothing that justifies cheating, don't even try to justify it.
DealingWDrama Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 You really need some psychiatric help - at the minimum therapy...
stillafool Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 Sounds pretty easy to me. Grow some "ovaries" and move out on your own. That way you will be able to screw anybody you choose whenever you choose. Don't tell your bf what you've done because he will never forgive you and will think he's been living with a sl-t all along. Besides, you won't stop cheating and you know it. Move out today! Oh, you should make an appointment with you gyno to make sure you don't have any STD's. Good luck!
4dviceJunki3 Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 If you say that you're afraid of losing him, then why did you cheat on him in the first place? Are you a nempho and cannot control yourself or what is that drives you to want to hook up with other people meanwhile maintaining this relationship that you think is headed somewhere positive? Sorry to be a bit harsh but you have to realize something here. You're putting the man's feelings on the line here. Everyone knows how hard it is to deal with a heart break and you're risking putting this person that you so call "love" through that pain. It seems to me that you need to be single and not in a relationship. If you're in a relationship, get a hold of yourself and put effort into the relationship and quit being selfish. It's people like you that go and ruin the perspectives of normal guys. Oh, and as for coming clean with him, prepare to end the relationship the day you choose to come clean; I would suggest that you end it now, the sooner the better and the less pain you're going to put him through.
Caitlan Posted October 6, 2008 Posted October 6, 2008 You don't sound like you respect yourself so how could you possibly respect someone else (your boyfriend)? You are a serial cheater and until you find out why you like to sleep around and need endless attention you will most likely continue to do it. I'd say tell your boyfriend so he will know what your doing and let him make the decision to stay or not as he deserves to know how you are putting his health (std's) in jeapordy.
Enema Posted October 7, 2008 Posted October 7, 2008 Someone admits to cheating and reaches out to us on LS and you think it's a troll? hmmmm... They made one post on LS and haven't returned in 5 days. Of course it's a troll.
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