primer Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 I am 40 and the guy I am dating is 37. I have had more than one acquaintance tell me my boyfriend made comments to them about their breasts. He told one she had something on her nipple. He told another one her boobs were getting bigger. A friend of mine overheard him telling another woman she had nice knockers. Do you think these comments are inappropriate? I find them uncalled for, but when I confront him he acts like he did nothing wrong. That makes me question myself.
2sunny Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 question YOURSELF? you should be questioning HIM. or leaving him... what is attractive about a guy being totally inappropriate with several other women? this is not ok, and he is not behaving as if he is a loving and respectful guy.
gd26 Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 What is so appealing about this man that you want to stay with him? I don't get sometimes why us women are so willing to settle for losers. Can't you find a decent, loving man who respects women?
Author primer Posted October 1, 2008 Author Posted October 1, 2008 I don't know why I put up with that behavior. I have been that way my whole life. I am a successful, independent person. I actually enjoy living alone. It is just nice to have someone to do things with once in a while. I live in a small town so there are not a lot of decent men.
2sunny Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 well - it is easier to be alone than to be with someone who is disrespecting you behind your back.
Art_Critic Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Do you think these comments are inappropriate? Of course they are inappropriate.. The trick here because this is coming third party to you is to decide what the intent of his comments were. How do your friends feel his comments were meant ?.. in other words were they meant as mere conversation and or a jovial dumb joke or were they meant with an intent of invoking a reaction to see if they are interested in him ? He has disrespected you with his comments.. It is up to you to figure out what you are willing to accept.. I'm not one to jump on the "dump him" bandwagon only because the comments are coming to you via third party and might have some drama added for effect... While saying I'm not into the "dump him" thought process I certainly am one that believes continued disrespect to your SO is a deal breaker on all levels. How is the rest of your relationship ?
a4a Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Gak!!! Loser alert...... get rid of him. Perhaps before you do so you can start making comments to his male friends about how their "bulges" look like they have grown (perhaps they are happy to see you?) 'cuse me, there is a little sumptin on your pants there..."
Art_Critic Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Perhaps before you do so you can start making comments to his male friends about how their "bulges" look like they have grown (perhaps they are happy to see you?) Can you imagine his face after she says to his best friend " Damn your one hung piece of meat.. what do you feed that thing? ".. or Damn it looks like your Mr Wiggles has gotten bigger.. Can I see it ? He would flip out... ( of course so would his friend )
Author primer Posted October 1, 2008 Author Posted October 1, 2008 As for the rest of our relationship . . . . He drinks beer every day. We do have fun together, but I am starting to think it is not worth it. He embarrasses me!
a4a Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Can you imagine his face after she says to his best friend " Damn your one hung piece of meat.. what do you feed that thing? ".. or Damn it looks like your Mr Wiggles has gotten bigger.. Can I see it ? He would flip out... ( of course so would his friend ) Ya understand that I already would have done this. Unless this guy was raised on an island with only dudes and dirty mags around him there is no doubt in my mind that he knows he is being a jackass.
a4a Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 As for the rest of our relationship . . . . He drinks beer every day. We do have fun together, but I am starting to think it is not worth it. He embarrasses me! No he totally disrespects you and your friends.
Art_Critic Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 He embarrasses me! All in all....there is where your answer lies... I had a GF once that would blurt out really racist comments about the black children she would see at her work ( she worked in a hospital ). Each time she made a comment like that I was embarrassed.. even if we were alone.. She was a terrible person and I dumped her quickly after I realized those statements weren't going away... I'm not saying to dump him.. but it isn't a good sign that he embarrasses you...
Art_Critic Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Ya understand that I already would have done this. Yeah.. but you have nice knockers jk/
JamesM Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 I don't know why I put up with that behavior. Because you feel that you have to. You feel that this is the only kind of guy who will go with you. At 40, you know better, but you don't truly know better in your heart. I have been that way my whole life. I am a successful, independent person. I actually enjoy living alone. It is just nice to have someone to do things with once in a while. First off, change. Why are you successful and independent yet resigned to the idea that a guy who comments on other women (at all) in a sexual matter is what you "deserve?" As Art said, everybody deserves someone who treats them with respect. The key here is not what he is like but what you are willing to accept. Doing stuff with someone is different than having a boyfriend. I live in a small town so there are not a lot of decent men. Is this one of the "decent" men? Ouch! Should you dump him based on what you have said? Yes.
a4a Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Yeah.. but you have nice knockers jk/ Yah and you have a nice dick. (just doesn't come out with the same flavor does it?) (flavor... insert pun) Really OP this guy is rude.... and if one of my friends other half said that to me I likely would have not tolerated it. Total disrespect for all parties involved.
Bells Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 With women I have gotten to know well...if they have really big boobs, esp since they were surgically enhanced.....I would kind of joke about how big they are...like how they get in athe way...or "Man, it's hard to pay attention to what's going on" I have a lady friend that has got some bazooms and in some of her myspace photos she likes to bend over and expose her cleavage....sometimes they're so big...they're hard not to miss....and I'd say things like "Man, I hope I maintain eye contact with you the next time I see you!" They'd be more in good taste, but still referencing the boobs. Usually if the boobs are so big, there's not commenting on them actually. The bigger the boobs, the more likely the comments can be made...usually in jest...and if it's with a woman you know.
Author primer Posted October 1, 2008 Author Posted October 1, 2008 Thank you for your help. I know I should not even have to question this. When I tell him I am done, he will start crying. I am non-confrontational and too nice.
Art_Critic Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Usually if the boobs are so big, there's not commenting on them actually. The bigger the boobs, the more likely the comments can be made...usually in jest...and if it's with a woman you know. I can't let this comment lie... WTF ?... Dude.. you really should take heed of what is happening in this thread.. Commenting on a woman's boobs is tacky and disrespectful to your SO and disrespectful to the woman you are making those comments to... Throw in a work situation and it is sexual harassment... You may very well believe that a woman's breasts are free game for conversation but I think I can tell you that it isn't...( or they aren't )
CandyGirlXO Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Thank you for your help. I know I should not even have to question this. When I tell him I am done, he will start crying. I am non-confrontational and too nice. Yeah I know how that goes, I have been with guys too that will start crying, and then I feel bad and change my mind. Maybe try talking to him about how this behavior is disrespectful to you and women, and that he is embarrassing you.
cheezy100 Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 I am 40 and the guy I am dating is 37. I have had more than one acquaintance tell me my boyfriend made comments to them about their breasts. He told one she had something on her nipple. He told another one her boobs were getting bigger. A friend of mine overheard him telling another woman she had nice knockers. Do you think these comments are inappropriate? I find them uncalled for, but when I confront him he acts like he did nothing wrong. That makes me question myself. every guy has his moments with boobs. a guy that i'm dating keeps referring mine as "pillows" it's how the guy says it that makes it either appropriate or inappropriate. but he's 37, i assume that he should be more respectful and mature with what he says. my guy is only 26, and I know somewhere down the line, there will be moments of inappropriate words. guys can say things that are quite disturbing at times, i have to admit that. worse than what I can imagine. sometimes, i don't even understand and I don't want to understand. "let's keep with the clean image"
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