xXxshootingstarxXx Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Hi I'm new to this site and I really need some good advice please! Me and my ex boyfriend were together for 10 months, after 5 of those - he proposed to me! It was very quick indeed, I know... He was besotted with me and wanted to spend all his time with ME!! Going out partying seemed a thing of the past for him - we seemed the perfect couple (and I thought we were soulmates!) We even had two holidays together as well as many romantic weekend breaks away!! He's the first guy I've ever felt both physically and emotionally involved and attached too! Sadly the rows began to flow each weekend (with the odd occasions where we'd go our separate ways then within hours make up again!) as we were spending too much time together so the little annoying things started to surface more often... but I was a believer that it was just a hurdle and we could over come this. As for my ex, he was obviously thinking something entirely different. After a week of very little contact he called round to see me to break the news that he was ending our relationship ( 7 weeks ago!)... His reasons: 'We simply just didn't get on, it's not a criticism - it's just life' and that he wanted to be 'on his own'. He said sorry and left. He broke my heart into tiny little pieces I was a wreck! We didn't speak for about a week but he still had all his belongings at my house and vice-versa! So then another week later whilst I was at work he came for his things and left mine. So I thought 'Okay this is definitely closure... he isn't coming back - I need to move on now'.... Then one evening I was on instant messenger and suddenly my ex appeared online and initiated conversation asking how I'd been, what I'd been up to at the weekends etc etc... We chatted for over an hour about all kinds of things - he'd tell me how busy is he now and how he sooo enjoys going out every weekend getting drunk as though his life is sooo much better without me now. And since then whenever I've been online - he's appeared a short time afterwards and starts talking to me! I began to read into this (may be a little too much) that this was a sign he still liked and missed me! I always came across as really happy and bubbly too! One day at work quite recently I decided to take the plunge and ask him to meet me for a friendly drink. He agreed saying 'yeah why not, i'm not doing anything else lol, I'll pick you up about 8 ish' May be I made a big mistake, but I did myself up - dressed very nicely and did my hair the way he used to like it! He never once commented on how I looked and there were a few awkward silences but nothing too major but we did have some good laughs! And a few occasions I caught him looking at me intensively! When he dropped me off home, we hugged then said our goodbyes. I felt completely empty inside - it wasn't the response I had hoped for! Two days later I was online again, he signed in and started talking.... again just about everyday things so I thought 'Okay he clearly likes to chat to me - just as a friend or whether he wants me back (after sending me a song by Roger Sanchez ~ Another Chance) I'm not so sure how he was feeling about me' So I emailed him the next morning, a short but pleasant email stating my feelings were deeper than 'just friends' and I thought what we had was worth another try but if he didn't feel the same then I had to cut all communication to get over him completely' His reply was: "I can appreciate your feelings and I'm sorry to have a different view on things, but I think it would be better if we dropped the communication then. I don't want to go into the negatives and all that again as its covering old ground, I'm sure you'll find it easier to move on if we refrain from contacting each other, as the 'friends' method doesn't work for you as you say, As I've said before, I wish you all the best and hope there will be no arquardness between us in the future if we happen to meet" Have I lost all chances of winning back his love?? What do you guys think about my situation?? Was he just playing mind games with me the whole time we've been speaking since the break up??
SnowWhite924 Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 I know it's hard but you have to leave him alone. He made it very clear he doesn't want more than a friendship. You're probably wondering why he had a drink with you, why he chats with you. Well, he probably does enjoy your company and likes you but he's done with the romance part of it. Do yourself a favor and start the healing process. Block him from IM. He doesn't deserve you as a friend or otherwise.
Author xXxshootingstarxXx Posted October 1, 2008 Author Posted October 1, 2008 SnowWhite924 thanks for your post! You're absolutely right, I've been blind to the whole thing - couldn't see through all the emotions going on inside my head. I have blocked him on IM and I've also blocked him on my mobile too so even if he did have a change of heart down the line... I'll never know cos he messages will never get to me!
alwayssme Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 shootingstar--you are strong!! trust me what u did, not alot of people are capable of doing it...congrats!!
jimmymat87 Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 blocked him on ur mobile.... how do you do that?? I could definately use that
Author xXxshootingstarxXx Posted October 3, 2008 Author Posted October 3, 2008 You need a samsung mobile!!... in 'Messages' you then have 'Settings' and then it'll bring up 'Text messages' then 'Block number' <- you can store up to 10 numbers in there of the people to want to avoid!!! :laugh:
HopeDiesLast Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 xxxshootingstarxxx- your story sounds eerily similar to mine (and im sure many others on LS). i did the same thing-tried to read into things, and gauge how he was feeling, let him know i thought things were worth another shot. I think we all try to avoid the reality of the situation. So i did the same, told my ex to take a hike. it was the hardest thing ive ever had to do. and its been so long with no communication from him, i guess all i can do is accept that hes never coming back. its hard, but we all have to do it. we are strong people for doing what we have. and in the end this will work out better for us- WE are the first people we should look out for. ((hugs))
Recommended Posts