Author crushed66 Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 Mike B., CailGuy, BackOnTrack, or anyone else wanna help me? my ex called me last night at araound 10:30 (saturday night). i didnt pick up. she didnt leave a message. should i return her call? should i wait for her to call again? what should I say?
joybean72 Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 I feel for ya crushed. My husband (Together a total of 7 years) ended it (over another woman) over the phone as well. I do not need his words to give me closure as they are just lies anyway. His word is crap as far as I am concerned....I deserved a lot more than that. It is your call whether or not to contact her....you may not get the answers you seek anyway. Good luck in whatever you decide.
BackonTrack Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 I cannot give you any advice. 8 years is a very long time. I do not know what to tell you. Only U know what you should or can do. But why is she calling you? Do you have anything of hers? It makes 100% no sense to call someone unless you still have feelings for them. Maybe she wants you to go out there and bring her back home? 8 years is a very long time, If i was together with someone for that long, they would never leave me, or I would never let them go. Never. I wouldn't care if I had to hand-cuff myself to her, the police would have to come lock me up. But if she fell OUT OF LOVE with you, then thats a whole different ball game. Eitherway if you love her, do something drastic, but NOT CRAZY, there is a difference. Just be a man. Tell her to come home and stop all this bull ****, but don't do it over the phone. Do it in person. I cannot really give you advice, I am not in your situation, only you can be the judge of whats best for you. You know her better than we all do and if she still in communication with you, talking to you, picking up the phone when you call then she still wants to be with you. It seems like your scared to get hurt, I don't know my friend. I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you are to passive, maybe she wants you to go and get her and take her home. Only YOU know what U need to do. Really think about it, why did she leave? Why is she still calling you. Deep within yourself, u know the answers. If I am to be honest with myself, the true reason my EX left me is because she wanted to explore and the exicitment was over + I wasn't trying to progress the relationship so I think she became frustrated and didn't know what to do so she did what she did best, decieded, lied and tricked me. Went exploring, starting having sexual relations with another man, eventually slept with him, started blaming me, kept sleeping with him, tried to break up with me but couldn't she was addicted, i went away, she got over the addiction, kept coming around though, she wasn't in-love with the dude yet, tried to make me break up with her, at the same time started denying me sex, all the while she must of figured out I loved her and kept me as a backup incase things failed, she could depend on me, either way, once she fell in love, stop coming around, i ignored it, went away again, returned, she was hard to reach, i found out certain information, began the break in process, it lasted a month, i ended up driving by her house and being a stalker for like 2 minutes, I came to my sense about 7 months later. Thats my story... Whats yours?
Al_Bundy Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 FACTS. - she is dating someone else (probably 1-2 months). they were friends/ acquaintances for a few yrs. -im in my early 30's. she is in her late 20's. -we never talked about marriage. i believe she doesnt want to marry. - i asked her what does she what over the phone, she'll say "i dont know" (like 1 month ago) -i heard from her friend that my ex explained to her that we broke up. QUESTION. should i get an explaintion in person? Don't bother. She was messing around on you and is too chicken to break up to your face. Just be happy you are rid of her and that she can be someone elses problem. Besides, any explanation she would have would be bs since she doesn't have the guts to face you anyway. its been over 3 weeks since we broke up. she im'ed me once. asking what i was up do. i ended w/ maybe we should talk sometimes. i im her a few days later (just small talk for like 10-15 im lines) She broke up with you because of another guy, or for whatever reason. She should be leaving you alone. If she would have texted me asking what I was up to, I'd have replied "trying to get on with my life, so leave me alone" so, which works better, a face to face break up then NC or staight disappear NC? thanks. Its not a matter of which works better, but she did owe you a F2F breakup. But whats done is done. Next time she texts you, simply tell her to leave you alone. Unless you want her back for some silly reason.
Sysyphus28 Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 I cannot give you any advice. 8 years is a very long time. I do not know what to tell you. Only U know what you should or can do. But why is she calling you? Do you have anything of hers? It makes 100% no sense to call someone unless you still have feelings for them. Maybe she wants you to go out there and bring her back home? 8 years is a very long time, If i was together with someone for that long, they would never leave me, or I would never let them go. Never. I wouldn't care if I had to hand-cuff myself to her, the police would have to come lock me up. But if she fell OUT OF LOVE with you, then thats a whole different ball game. Eitherway if you love her, do something drastic, but NOT CRAZY, there is a difference. Just be a man. Tell her to come home and stop all this bull ****, but don't do it over the phone. Do it in person. I cannot really give you advice, I am not in your situation, only you can be the judge of whats best for you. You know her better than we all do and if she still in communication with you, talking to you, picking up the phone when you call then she still wants to be with you. It seems like your scared to get hurt, I don't know my friend. I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you are to passive, maybe she wants you to go and get her and take her home. Only YOU know what U need to do. Really think about it, why did she leave? Why is she still calling you. Deep within yourself, u know the answers. If I am to be honest with myself, the true reason my EX left me is because she wanted to explore and the exicitment was over + I wasn't trying to progress the relationship so I think she became frustrated and didn't know what to do so she did what she did best, decieded, lied and tricked me. Went exploring, starting having sexual relations with another man, eventually slept with him, started blaming me, kept sleeping with him, tried to break up with me but couldn't she was addicted, i went away, she got over the addiction, kept coming around though, she wasn't in-love with the dude yet, tried to make me break up with her, at the same time started denying me sex, all the while she must of figured out I loved her and kept me as a backup incase things failed, she could depend on me, either way, once she fell in love, stop coming around, i ignored it, went away again, returned, she was hard to reach, i found out certain information, began the break in process, it lasted a month, i ended up driving by her house and being a stalker for like 2 minutes, I came to my sense about 7 months later. Thats my story... Whats yours? Same exact story for me brother. I was a backup, denied sex, she lied and cheated........................same exact story almost 3 weeks NC.
gwynieatpain Posted October 10, 2008 Posted October 10, 2008 I was just being dumped by my fiancee 4 days ago through email I can feel your pain too. However, I don't want an explanation at all. It would only be lies and excuses that ease his guilt and hurt me more. Being with her for 8 years you know her so well you should able to find a reason. Hope you get over it soon.
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