pretty professional Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 On eharmony I reached the open answered question section so I sent him the question "If you were forced to stay on a deserted island bring, what 5 items would you bring with you?" His answer was "I'm terrible with these types of questions, sorry." Doesn't this show he's boring, lazy, and uncreative? His profile is really great in all other ways, and he did give a pretty thorough answer to the other question "If you could do anything you wanted in an evening, what would you do, money is no object." Is this a red flag that he didn't bother to answer my question? I mean he could have taken a little effort to answer this question.
Green Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 I don't know I'm not good with these types of questions either just wanted to let you know I read your thread
westrock Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Doesn't this show he's boring, lazy, and uncreative? That's a huge leap you are making! He could very well be a practical, take action, always busy guy with lots of real life stuff on the go such that he doesn't need to think of deserted island hypotheticals. Give the guy a chance before jumping to such drastic conclusions. Besides, there is no correct answer to the deserted island question so why ask it?
tanbark813 Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 I have mixed feelings about this one. On the one hand, yeah, it is kind of lazy. If you're on an online dating site, especially one like eHarmony where the interactions are set up like this, then I think you should be up for answering any question. To sidestep it is a cop out. But on the other hand, this particular question is a bit annoying. It's a loaded question in that the response is usually intended to be books or movies or something to keep you occupied to pass the time. But you could just answer: a boat, a GPS navigation system, a month's worth of rations, a horde of fuel, and someone who is an expert at navigating the sea. Finally, while you can make the argument that he is lazy because he side-stepped the question, you could also make the argument that you are lazy because this is the most cliche' example of an open-ended question and doesn't show much creativity in and of itself. It's the Kenny G of open-ended questions.
Ocean-Blue Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 From my experience, men don't do as well with these creative ,"what if" questions as women. I think women enjoy answering such questions. Perhaps he's just more of pragmatic guy. Doesn't mean he's not creative.
Storyrider Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Maybe he's wild and crazy and exciting and just doesn't like to be penned in by such closed-end questions. You could try something more provocative and less leading, like, Why is a duck? Or, even better, maybe he's the kind of guy who, when you start to prattle on, grabs you and says, "Shut up, you little fool!" and kisses you like Humphry Bogart.
CommitmentPhobe Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Maybe he vomited when he realised he was responding to a questionnaire rather than a human being
Author pretty professional Posted October 1, 2008 Author Posted October 1, 2008 Well then he wouldn't be paying $60 a month to be on eharmony, right? I made up the question myself so it's not some unoriginal questionnaire. So to you, Commitmentphobe.
Author pretty professional Posted October 1, 2008 Author Posted October 1, 2008 Maybe he's wild and crazy and exciting and just doesn't like to be penned in by such closed-end questions. You could try something more provocative and less leading, like, Why is a duck? Or, even better, maybe he's the kind of guy who, when you start to prattle on, grabs you and says, "Shut up, you little fool!" and kisses you like Humphry Bogart. I like the Humphry Bogart scenario. As far as it being a closed-ended question, it was actually part of the open-ended question section.
Author pretty professional Posted October 1, 2008 Author Posted October 1, 2008 Thank you for your response. It was kind of a cliched question. I won't hold this against him for now. He did at least answer the "If you could do anything you wanted for one night, money is no option" without a sexual reference so at least I know he has some class. I have mixed feelings about this one. On the one hand, yeah, it is kind of lazy. If you're on an online dating site, especially one like eHarmony where the interactions are set up like this, then I think you should be up for answering any question. To sidestep it is a cop out. But on the other hand, this particular question is a bit annoying. It's a loaded question in that the response is usually intended to be books or movies or something to keep you occupied to pass the time. But you could just answer: a boat, a GPS navigation system, a month's worth of rations, a horde of fuel, and someone who is an expert at navigating the sea. Finally, while you can make the argument that he is lazy because he side-stepped the question, you could also make the argument that you are lazy because this is the most cliche' example of an open-ended question and doesn't show much creativity in and of itself. It's the Kenny G of open-ended questions.
Green Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 thats pretty lame if you aske me... if I could do anything at night it would definetly be something sexy
BentSpine Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Precisely my thought, KMT. There is no way "cuddling" wouldn't be included in the evening of my dreams. Your guy is probably a lier. Regarding your invented question, five things are really too many to come up with. But let's give it a try: #1: Censored due to being sexually explicit. #2: Censored due to being of adult content. #3: Also censored due to being sexually explicit. #4: A really, really cold beer. #5: A nice woman to screw. Now, I'm joking of course. But really, you cannot expect five funny answers; The first joke could/will telegraph how you look at the situation. And then the four other's are not surprising anymore, and hence, not funny. The entire question fizzles out. The alternative is to end with a funny thing, but then you have to come up with four straight, boring answers first. The keyword here is boring. So do continue to ask your deserted island question, but restrict the brought items to one.
JoeNewbie Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 I was asked the very same question by the last girl I had a relationship with. If I like the girl, I'd answer the question. If not, I'd think it's a really lame question. Essentially, it IS a pretty lame question but he would've answered it if he were interested in you.
BentSpine Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 I take it back. Five items are too many, but four can be perfect: Three straight ones followed by one funny.
a4a Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 If you work all day and come home to an email with some one expecting you to answer this type of questions........ Gawd...... that would suck. Who the hell would want to answer that question? What is the point? Why not have banter over favorite sport teams or what countries you have visited. If you were going to be stranded on a desserted island what 5 articles of clothing would you bring? - who cares...... how the hell did your ass end up in that situation in the first place..... who strands themselves on a desserted island. Is this the norm on these dating sites?
JamesM Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 I am with a4a on this one. I might answer it if I were feeling full of energy. And anyone who reads my posts knows that I do like to write, and I am considered creative. BUT...it tells me what kind of girl I am going to meet. To me this question seems like a question that was asked without much thought. Here is why...when will I get stuck on a desert island? How is this question practical? How will it help analyze me as a person? What will it tell the girl about me? There are plenty of other questions that might be more applicable. At least the money question is reasonable IMO. So, while I may answer it, it would be a red flag to me as the guy.
Shygirl15 Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 On eharmony I reached the open answered question section so I sent him the question "If you were forced to stay on a deserted island bring, what 5 items would you bring with you?" His answer was "I'm terrible with these types of questions, sorry." Lame question, and his answer would have not helped you in any way. I normally send out questions that would help me to better understand their habits, personalities etc. If that question was sent to me, I would have closed the match instantly. At least he had the decency to respond.
a4a Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 I am with a4a on this one. I might answer it if I were feeling full of energy. And anyone who reads my posts knows that I do like to write, and I am considered creative. BUT...it tells me what kind of girl I am going to meet. To me this question seems like a question that was asked without much thought. Here is why...when will I get stuck on a desert island? How is this question practical? How will it help analyze me as a person? What will it tell the girl about me? There are plenty of other questions that might be more applicable. At least the money question is reasonable IMO. So, while I may answer it, it would be a red flag to me as the guy. I am still on my first cup o' coffee...... not awake yet..... if I found this in my inbox I probably would delete it or reply F-O. How about "what is your favorite local place to eat?" Easy to answer... makes it sound like you are interested in real life things.... not fantasy dribble.
Shygirl15 Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 BUT...it tells me what kind of girl I am going to meet. Yeah, the kind that lives on fantasyland.
Jersey Shortie Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 I wouldn't judge it so quickly. It's a little lazy and I can understand being turned off but give it more of a chance.
Cherbear Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 I agree with most answers here. I dont think you should write him off yet. To be honest, I wouldnt know how to answer that question. I'd never thought of it and I dont wanna spend time to think about it since the chances of that happening are pretty tiny. He probably feels the same way. He probably doesnt feel the need to answer questions that are probably never gonna happen. Instead, he may think of you as impractical and full of fantasies (no offense) and it may be a turnoff for him since he's probably living a busy, fulfilling, no-desert-island life. So next time I'd ask him something simple and nice that can show his moral values or interests or stuff like that. Give it another shot. Things may surprise you. Good luck!
kashmir Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 You're judging him too quickly. Those questions are kinda silly in my opinion. Whenever I'm asked a question like that which I don't like, though, I turn it into a joke to make fun of the question...so I would list 5 totally useless and funny things instead of answering the question seriously.
flc Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Silly question, how about what animal would you be? I hate all of that nonsense. I agree with others, how about asking what activities you like, where you go when your not working and what was your favorite vacation was, stuff like that instead of pseudo psych questionnaires.
StartingOver07 Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 I'm not a guy, but I would be super turned off to receive this question. It seems like you want him to put out a lot of effort for... what? The opportunity to meet you and see if he likes you? Why can't you just meet for a drink or coffee?
Vertex Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 I would have brought Island Survival for Dummies Personally, if I saw a silly question, I'd give it a silly answer to slip in my relatively lame sense of humor But again, it's a silly question. Don't hold something so relatively minor against him.
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