underpants Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 'I knew you were different, you are someone who values the truth, therefore I felt like I couldn't tell it to you.' What?
johan Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 'I knew you were different, you are someone who values the truth, therefore I felt like I couldn't tell it to you.' What? A bit weak. Things like that are hard to explain in a way that makes it seem ok.
Nemo Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 , you are someone who values the truth, Truth? You want the truth?? You can't handle the truth!!
Trialbyfire Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 "If I told you the truth, you wouldn't keep seeing me, so I couldn't tell you the truth."
Nemo Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Remember that there are no absolute truths. Truth is in the eye of the beholder. Truth is a matter of perspective. Truth is, above all, a relative term. Time heals all truths.
Author underpants Posted October 1, 2008 Author Posted October 1, 2008 I feel pretty ill about it. He does too. We agree that it sucks. He regrets his choice, but it is a moot point now.
Nemo Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Obama said he would stand by his friends, and his pastor. He soon changed his mind about that. Truth is temporal - a truth today is not necessarily a truth tomorrow. Try to remember that.
Ocean-Blue Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 People lie sometimes. It's up to whether it's forgivable or not.
Nemo Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 People lie sometimes. It's up to whether it's forgivable or not. Who is whether, and why do they make the rules?
Ocean-Blue Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Who is whether, and why do they make the rules? You know what I meant. Insert "you".
AriaIncognito Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Can you elaborate unders? What was he lying about? It is a foregiveable offense for you?
Nemo Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Also, there are things called "little white lies." If it's one of those, then it's no big deal.
Author underpants Posted October 1, 2008 Author Posted October 1, 2008 It is not a little white lie. It is significant and I'm not sure how to handle it. My gut tells me to go into cave mode. However, I really genuinelly respect him and care about him. So I want the best resolution possible. That is where I am at. Personally, I really don't like it when a guy makes a girl cry and all they can come up with is "I'm sorry". Crying is not a weakness, it is a stall tactic. I'm stalling and he knows it. ...because I am not a liar. This is crazy. However, less crazy then my last relationship I guess. Maybe I am better off alone?
Ocean-Blue Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 It is not a little white lie. It is significant and I'm not sure how to handle it. My gut tells me to go into cave mode. However, I really genuinelly respect him and care about him. So I want the best resolution possible. That is where I am at. Personally, I really don't like it when a guy makes a girl cry and all they can come up with is "I'm sorry". Crying is not a weakness, it is a stall tactic. I'm stalling and he knows it. ...because I am not a liar. This is crazy. However, less crazy then my last relationship I guess. Maybe I am better off alone? Weigh everything out, unders. Is he worth forgiving?
Nemo Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 ...because I am not a liar. Everybody lies. You're in denial of your own fallibility.
Author underpants Posted October 1, 2008 Author Posted October 1, 2008 Everybody lies. You're in denial of your own fallibility. Maybe you are right. Further proof that perhaps I am better off on my own.
Ocean-Blue Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Maybe you are right. Further proof that perhaps I am better off on my own. Are you trying to convince yourself of this...to make it all easier? What are you so scared of anyway?
2sunny Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Everybody lies. You're in denial of your own fallibility. shush nemo - not everyone lies. and even IF someone lies - doesn't mean the other person has to forgive that lie. so unders... can you share what the violation was about? maybe we can help you sort through it.
Nemo Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Are you trying to convince yourself of this...to make it all easier? What are you so scared of anyway? Yes, one only needs to be concerned about concealed lies. Lies out in the open just show that the person cares too much to let something come between you.
Author underpants Posted October 1, 2008 Author Posted October 1, 2008 Weigh everything out, unders. Is he worth forgiving? That is what I am doing. It will take some time and I don't expect him to wait around for that. Right now? I think I could forgive it as a friend and I would so hate to lose him from my life. Yet, I have really been taken a back and could not be at present a 'proper' girlfriend. I want him to be happy. I don't think I would be the best choice right now and he knows it. It is a bittersweet day.
Ocean-Blue Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Yes, one only needs to be concerned about concealed lies. Lies out in the open just show that the person cares too much to let something come between you. A person caring doesn't necessarily make a lie (even those "out in the open") any easier to digest, once it's revealed. A lie is a lie. It hurts and really changes the dynamics of a relationship (sometimes temporarily, sometimes not).
Ocean-Blue Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 That is what I am doing. It will take some time and I don't expect him to wait around for that. Right now? I think I could forgive it as a friend and I would so hate to lose him from my life. Yet, I have really been taken a back and could not be at present a 'proper' girlfriend. I want him to be happy. I don't think I would be the best choice right now and he knows it. It is a bittersweet day. You can't push yourself to forgive. Premature forgiveness rears its ugly head at some point and then chaos reigns free. Then again, we throw caution to the wind and jump when it's someone we love. Sometimes.
Author underpants Posted October 1, 2008 Author Posted October 1, 2008 You can't push yourself to forgive. Premature forgiveness rears its ugly head at some point and then chaos reigns free. Then again, we throw caution to the wind and jump when it's someone we love. Sometimes. No worries. I am being extremely level headed about this. So is he on a degree. It is all unfortunate, but it will be okay. However it turns out. At least that is my hope. Thanks to all that listened.
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