FIREFIGHTER9 Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 My wife was always the type that would rather hang out with guys friends instead of girlfriends. it bothered me but i loved and trusted her. about 3 years ago she started driving and spending alot of time with her old boyfriend. ( still never found out what all happened there) after we sorted that out she quit seeing him and i agreed to make it work. i went through this 2 more times one was she was after one of my best friends. we decided to call it quits. we are in the middle of divorce negotiations and have 2 children. we have been married for 7 years. over the last 3 weeks she has been trying really hard to convince me to come back and try agian. but i just found out from snooping into her text messages that she has been seeing a guy during this time and i got the impression that she was possibly pregnant from what i read. i asked her friend and she confermed it for me. i confronted her and she will not admit whether she is or isnt cause she says it is none of my business. the problem i have is i feel that as long as we are still married it is my business and this would affect my children as well. is there a way that i can find out from her. i know that she is i just want to hear it from her then it is 100%. what really sucks is that over the last 3 weeks i really wanted to go back and try one more time but come to find out she was pregnant that whole time and knew it. the other guy has a girlfriend that is pregnant as well and wants nothing to do with her now as well
LakesideDream Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Prepare yourself for many years of financial destitution, and quite despairation. Then make her your ex wife.
Trimmer Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 In a lot of states, if a child is conceived in wedlock, the husband is presumed to be the father, unless genetic evidence proves otherwise. So yes, it is ultimately your business, although that doesn't mean you can somehow force the information out of her. However, it is possible for a court to order a paternity test after the child's birth, to establish (or refute) paternity. If you are not with a divorce lawyer yet, get with one - one that represents only your interests, and who has experience with paternity issues. Do it soon and make sure that your interests are covered.
Trimmer Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Prepare yourself for many years of financial destitution, and quite despairation. Then make her your ex wife. Unnecessarily gloomy. I'm in a situation not that far from this (divorced, 2 kids) and I have no intention of being destitute nor desperate. Take a hard line with her, but be willing to continue to support your kids - how could you imagine doing otherwise? Go see the lawyer soon, and get your ducks in a row.
norajane Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 over the last 3 weeks she has been trying really hard to convince me to come back and try agian. the other guy has a girlfriend that is pregnant as well and wants nothing to do with her now as well Well, that's why your wife has been trying to get you back - her baby daddy has dumped her and she's looking to you to support her. The time has come for you to talk to a good lawyer. You don't want to end up paying child support for this child that isn't yours.
Bryanp Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Please reread your own message. Nobody in their right mind would wish to stay with this woman. She is pregnant and just got dumped by her married lover and she wants you as a doorprize? How many times does she have to do this you? She is great at totally humiliating and disrespecting you as a spouse and a man. You would have to be masochistic to want to try again with a wife who is now pregnant with her lover's child. Open your eyes and don't be a fool.
In Like Flynn Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 I hate to say this but affairs or seeking them have been a pattern for her for a long while. It might be wise to also get DNA tests done on your kids!!
jmargel Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Unfortunetly Flynn is right. She has a pattern of doing this and still can't tell you the truth when confronted with the evidence. She continues to lie and disrespects you and only comes back when she's been through all her other options. What did you actually get out of this marriage? You have been abused quite a bit by her and good chance your/her children has as well. I know you don't want to think about your children not being yours but you need the dna test done. Unless she hits rock bottom and goes to counseling there is no way she is going to change. You also should tell us more about your marriage, I know there is more than just this..
45Reverse Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Go here and start reading: http://www.dadsdivorce.com/ Get the new baby paternity tested and find a way to get your existing kids checked too.
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