brunette4u Posted August 21, 2003 Posted August 21, 2003 Well for those of you who did not read my post earlier this week, I will explain my situation. My boyfriend and I were together for almost 2 years. We moved in together this summer b/c i did not have a place to live for 3 months, but i ended up moving out after 2 months b/c we fought so much. So...i pretty much broke up with him then when I moved out, but we still tried to make it work and get back together. Turns out, the things that I wanted to change about our relationship never changed. He still did not make time for me, he was always working or with friends, and doesn't seem to care too much about spending time with me. So...I kindof backed off about a 2 weeks ago and stopped calling and making an effort...to see if he even cared and what the deal was. Turns out, he calls 3 days later and says he's all freaked out and wants to talk. he comes over and explains that things will never change, I will always be a selfish person, that he can't be what I want him to be right now, so forth. He said that he is in love with me, he loves me with all of his heart, but that we cannot be together right now. I told him that I DO want to give him 110 percent of me...and I am willing to, but only if he is willing to do it back to me, and I dont think he is. He says our relationship was turning into his parents, who got divorced and were very unhappy for a long time. I dont know if it's really over, for good. I have not talked to him in 5 days, which is the longest that we've gone without talking. All I can do is think about him, I am miserable, but I do not want to show it to him, or should I? Do you guys think that he's feeling this way, too? It hurts me to think that he is happy go lucky when i'm miserable without him. Should I just let him be, and hope that he comes back to me, me willing to change for real and give him all of me? I want to call, and I also have to give him some of his stuff back...shirts and some of his belongings. What should I do? When is it ok to call without seeming desperate? Should i let him know that I am waiting for him, and that I will always be here for him when he is ready, or should I move on? I love this man. We talked about a future together, how we were going to get married and have 2 kids. He is the first man i've ever been in love with? Got any advice, anyone? Thanks
sunnie23 Posted August 21, 2003 Posted August 21, 2003 i get the same thing from my boyfriend, he's always either working or with friends, although he is able to make time for me it seems like it's always when everything else is done or there's nothing else to do. i tell him i feel this way and he doesn't understand why i feel the way i do. i don't get how a guy can stay with someone they aren't interested in seeing?
Ninja Extrordinaire Posted August 22, 2003 Posted August 22, 2003 Meganu, I wouldn't wait if I were you. I think he gave you the answers already to your questions. If there is one universal truth I've come across again and again, is that you CAN'T change a person. If your relationship was stale and he wasn't making himself available and then when you talked him he told you to your face that things WILL NOT change, I don't think it can be any clearer about how he feels. Whatever you do, don't try to get back with him. I hate to say it, but I don't think he wants you around. Move on, any more time you try to put into this will just be wasted. You'll also be putting yourself in a position to get more hurt. I know it really blows. Im in the same boat as you actually, I haven't talked to my ex for 6 days now, mind you Im the type of person who needs the time apart so I can cope and possibly salvage some kind of a relationship in the future. It is funny how time passes and eventually you'll be able to see him but not be hurt by it. Good luck!
Recommended Posts