Milkflavor123 Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 :(I don't know why it hurts so much. I have always had a hard time at being upfront with people. Telling someone how I feel. I get scared of hurting people and end up hurting myself in the end for trying to save someones heart. I moved in with my roommates December of last year. I started dating one of them. Everything was going perfect. I couldn't believe that I met the man of my dreams by just moving in with someone. We had everything that you could want out of a relationship. Then I had an old ex come into the picture, realizing I wasnt over him. I cheated early in the realtionship. Well we stayed together after I told him about what I had done. He accepted it since it was only a month into the relationship. We chose to work through the issue. everything was okay for a while. now its October, I love my boyfriend ( my ex I guess now) with all my heart, but that last couple of months I seem to be nagging at everything he does. no one wants a girlfriend like that. i don't know if its stress or if I am unhappy and just dont realize it. We get along mostly all of the time- which is unusual moving in with someone and dating right off the bat. But i noticed getting frustrated when he comes into the bathroom while I get ready, or he sits and watches football in my room while I do homework. Little stupid things I find myself complainging about. It was Sex at first, and easy enough I talked to him about it. He changed his ways. Then it was this and that on what he was doing wrong. He tries to change things- but sometimes I wonder if its just because I am not used to having someone in my SPACE ALL THE TIME. Then finally last weekend I break up with him saying I can't take this person I have become, and the person I was trying to turn him into. Its not right- because no one should ever have to change for someone. I feel so stressed out living with him when he is the most kind person I have ever met. now I am looking to move out here in a couple weeks and I am starting to feel terrible about it with him being in a financial bind and me making him feel like he wasn't good enough for me. I guess I wonder, am I crazy for being so stressed out living with someone? I have never even lived on my own till I moved in with him, and then BAM i was in relationship feeling like I have rules like I did with my parents, always having to tell someone where I am going and why I am doing it. I just feel like I have to move out before I destroy him and myself. he doesn't understand it, but I feel like I have already broken him down because I am so up and down with him. Its exactly how my ex was with me. I don't want to repeat it, because I know how much my ex tore me apart as a person. I never worked through my emotions over the last ex and wonder if its the reason I act the way I do sometimes. I want my boyfriend(well now my ex) to understand what I am going through, but he doesnt and keeps asking if we can get back together. I hate being this aweful person to him- I don't say mean things to him, but I make him feel like everything he does annoys me. I don't know how to stop it besides moving out. He keeps crying to me and telling me he will change. I don't want him to have to- he is a beautiful person. Is something wrong with me??? I can't stop thinking that I am doing the same thing my ex did to me, I'm doing to him.
SuaveWazoo Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 You appear to be doing the same things that my ex-girlfriend did to me. She started dating me immediately after she had broken up with her previous ex, I tried my hardest to accommodate her but I always seemed to irritate her, she felt like she was being mean, I felt like I needed to change my behavior for her, I felt disrespected, she felt really confused and unhappy, etc. A lot of misunderstanding got to our wit's end and we broke it off about 6 months into the relationship. What I think you should do is that you do need some alone time to prioritize what you desire out of a relationship. This also includes getting over the emotional aspects of your previous breakup. Take a step back, and ask yourself why you find those little behaviors of his to be annoying. Was it because your previous ex acted that way and you're reminded of him? I think both your and your current ex-boyfriend need to get a change in perspective. Don't spend too much time together (difficult because you two live in the same apartment). Instead, try to spend a couple of weeks experiencing life without worrying so much about the relationship. Realize how it is to live life without that person in mind. This is not to make you forget about that person. Rather, it is for both of you to just take a breather, and appreciate what else you have in your life so you two can be happier people when relating to one another.
Author Milkflavor123 Posted October 1, 2008 Author Posted October 1, 2008 God I am so glad you responded. Thanks for that- It seems simple, but its not when your dealing with other people's emotions. Are you and your ex still talking, or how did things end up for you guys?
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