fabulousgal Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 I moved to another country in March 08, it was supposed to be a short trip...6 weeks for work but I kept getting offers to work on projects through the European office of my company. I ended up meeting a fabulous man on the very first day of August. We spent a 4-5 evenings/nights together and there was so much chemistry. We both had independent vacations scheduled already, and we were both kinda bummed we had to leave all of a sudden. While gone, we texted at least every other day and spoke once on the phone. He came to receive me at the airport when I got back - I was so happy and he seemed to be. at this point I had exactly 5 weeks left. a few nights later we were out in the city, and i confessed to him that while on holiday i was asked out by several guys and even hung out with one - but all i could think about was him. i told him i didn't want to be with anyone else. he seemed so happy and said he agreed. since then, its been good with some rough spots. we both have said we feel like sometimes we force ourselves to spend time together when normally we wouldn't because I am leaving. i hate that it has happened this way. i was in denial about leaving this city because i love it and i met him. now its my last few days and he basically told me he didn't want to go long distance because we don't have a strong base...we really have only been seeing one another for 2 months minus a few weeks of seperate vacations. i was hurt at first, but the more i thought about it, i agree. i can't realistically say i see him and i together for certain in 6 mos - we are just getting to know one another! i have a demanding job and he is very busy in his plus hobbies etc. its not like we will be in the same time zone -- there is quite a difference, and flying is the only option. this is all logical and i agree, but my heart says oh my im going to miss you and this hurts to say goodbye. can one be this bummed to leave someone and say goodbye and not want to take on the long distance. i would i think if we had been dating longer. intially when i heard him say this i was hurt, i guess because i just didn't want to say goodbye, even though when thinking about what it will be like it didn't appeal to me.
crimsonrose Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 I moved to another country in March 08, it was supposed to be a short trip...6 weeks for work but I kept getting offers to work on projects through the European office of my company. I ended up meeting a fabulous man on the very first day of August. We spent a 4-5 evenings/nights together and there was so much chemistry. We both had independent vacations scheduled already, and we were both kinda bummed we had to leave all of a sudden. While gone, we texted at least every other day and spoke once on the phone. He came to receive me at the airport when I got back - I was so happy and he seemed to be. at this point I had exactly 5 weeks left. a few nights later we were out in the city, and i confessed to him that while on holiday i was asked out by several guys and even hung out with one - but all i could think about was him. i told him i didn't want to be with anyone else. he seemed so happy and said he agreed. since then, its been good with some rough spots. we both have said we feel like sometimes we force ourselves to spend time together when normally we wouldn't because I am leaving. i hate that it has happened this way. i was in denial about leaving this city because i love it and i met him. now its my last few days and he basically told me he didn't want to go long distance because we don't have a strong base...we really have only been seeing one another for 2 months minus a few weeks of seperate vacations. i was hurt at first, but the more i thought about it, i agree. i can't realistically say i see him and i together for certain in 6 mos - we are just getting to know one another! i have a demanding job and he is very busy in his plus hobbies etc. its not like we will be in the same time zone -- there is quite a difference, and flying is the only option. this is all logical and i agree, but my heart says oh my im going to miss you and this hurts to say goodbye. can one be this bummed to leave someone and say goodbye and not want to take on the long distance. i would i think if we had been dating longer. intially when i heard him say this i was hurt, i guess because i just didn't want to say goodbye, even though when thinking about what it will be like it didn't appeal to me. You never know what could happen. You two could call each other a couple of times after you leave and the infatuation could easily turn into something more. It's normal for it to hurt. You can see if it fades. Time heals all wounds and such. Give it a month and see if you feel the same. Then call him and check up on him.
Magpies Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 I agree with crimsonrose completely. You never know! Just take things one day at a time, enjoy life, re-adjust with your move and you'll see.
Author fabulousgal Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 thanks for the replies! well this last week was really nice, we spent time together in the evenings and night, watched movies, cooked dinners, etc....laid in bed until the last minute for me to get to my plane. he gave me a card where he wrote a very lovely letter to me. i wrote him a poem. i cried a little, he teared up some, i just feel so bad inside leaving it right now. its in a state where we are just getting to know one another ... but i can't say well enough to date over 6 time zones etc. just hurts cause i don't want to say goodbye to him OR the city i started to feel at home in. im back in the states now, i feel in shock.
crimsonrose Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 thanks for the replies! well this last week was really nice, we spent time together in the evenings and night, watched movies, cooked dinners, etc....laid in bed until the last minute for me to get to my plane. he gave me a card where he wrote a very lovely letter to me. i wrote him a poem. i cried a little, he teared up some, i just feel so bad inside leaving it right now. its in a state where we are just getting to know one another ... but i can't say well enough to date over 6 time zones etc. just hurts cause i don't want to say goodbye to him OR the city i started to feel at home in. im back in the states now, i feel in shock. Mmmm, i HATE the shock factor. When I left my fiance a week and a half ago I was sobbing at the airport. Then, halfway through my 15 hour flight back to America, I forgot what he felt liek to touch and felt numb, like everythign happened to quickly for my mind to soak in. It'll hurt more when you get back home, and then it'll fade, but you'll optomistically want him if it's meant to be
Author fabulousgal Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 Mmmm, i HATE the shock factor. When I left my fiance a week and a half ago I was sobbing at the airport. Then, halfway through my 15 hour flight back to America, I forgot what he felt liek to touch and felt numb, like everythign happened to quickly for my mind to soak in. It'll hurt more when you get back home, and then it'll fade, but you'll optomistically want him if it's meant to be Aw but darling, you will be together in a matter of days. Sure its like 88 or whatever your count was, but in the scheme of an entire lifetime its not long. When you feel numb or miss him, remember that there is someone who sees the same sky as you who loves you and one day you will be together. I've never had a long term relationship, mostly because of my nomadic lifestyle, but I am truley in awe when two people feel a bond so strong they can endure distances, and hardships to be together. what a great story of you and your fiance. its not nice to be apart, but cherish the fact you can talk, webcam, etc. the alternative is to not, and that i feel would be a worse feeling for you and him.
Author fabulousgal Posted October 9, 2008 Author Posted October 9, 2008 I miss him . I didn't want to say goodbye. I don't know how to act to him anymore - i thought we'd just kinda not talk or something but he emailed me the day i got back and we've been exchanging a few here and there. i don't need a status of bf/gf, and if he were to tell me tomorrow it's done nice to know you - i know i'd be ok. but this little state of wondering what he thinks now makes me feel uneasy because i know what i think i miss him and hope that we will continue to try to get to know one another even though it will be much slower now since i left. i've been really focused on work, seeing friends, etc to keep my mind off of it, but its there.
strongertoday Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 you are starting out from the basis of too hard doomed to fail... and at this early stage it might....or might not...who knows. Work might send you back next week. Can you ask for more work or to be sent back over there? Communication is really important and if you want to try something you need to ask him if you can try for a month or so. You can find time for emails or calls even if they are only short I am sure. If you found a man like him living nearby would. you start a relationship? If the answer is yes then dont let distance get in your way. Distance makes it harder for sure...but not impossible HUGS and good luck
crimsonrose Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 you are starting out from the basis of too hard doomed to fail... and at this early stage it might....or might not...who knows. Work might send you back next week. Can you ask for more work or to be sent back over there? Communication is really important and if you want to try something you need to ask him if you can try for a month or so. You can find time for emails or calls even if they are only short I am sure. If you found a man like him living nearby would. you start a relationship? If the answer is yes then dont let distance get in your way. Distance makes it harder for sure...but not impossible HUGS and good luck Agreed. fabulousgal, listen to strongertoday. She's very right.
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