Boyfriend always hangs up on me

[Sinner86]

I'm besides myself right now because I am utterly pissed by my boyfriend's childish behavior.

 

This is the biggest thing that pisses me off about our relationship. When we are together we have a great time, we laugh, we enjoy each other's company and the funny thing is that we never fight. But once we get on the phone and we talk something I say almost always manages to piss him off and he hangs up the phone.

 

He can't take direct criticism when he's wrong. His excuse is that he doesn't want to fight with me because that's all he did with his ex-wife, but at the same time hanging up the phone on me because you don't like what I said is disrespectful.

 

Point and case:

His sister was admitted to the hospital last night, she has a failing kidney and his parents were at the hospital up until midnight last night, so he came to the hospital so they could go home and get some sleep. He called me while driving there to tell me that she was there. I asked if he needed me there, he said no don't get out of bed and that was that. Later in the conversation I just said, if you need anything please let me know. I'll go and get it for you or her. He said okay but right now I don't need anything. OKAY! Fine.... we hung up and he called me back at 4:00am, I was a nervous wreck because phone calls that late at night usually indicate some type of emergency so I said is everything okay? Do you need anything? And he snapped at me! "Why do you keep asking me that?" Don't piss me off okay?" That came out of nowhere to me so I had to defend myself, I said to him, honey I'm just trying to be there for you.. ease the pressure a little bit and I freaking sunk to the ground like the dumb a-- that I am and even apologized. He said fine, whatever -- I don't know about you guys but for some reason tha word whatever just ticks me off... so I got angry I said how could you be so rude to me? You are the one calling me at 4:00 in the morning. He said okay again and hung up.

 

I called back and he never answered, In fact, he sent me to voicemail.

 

It's almost like it's okay for him to be pissed off but once I speak up I'm being a over-zealous super powerful bit-h. I don't like that feeling because it makes me feel like I will never be able to express myself.

 

I understand he had communications issues with his ex-wife because all she did was argue with him and point fingers at him but how do I communicate my feelings if he's going to get defensive and shut down the communication?

[Geishawhelk]

In a nutshell.

he has problems understanding that you are not his ex. he doesn't want repeat performances, so he jumps in first, and is controlling the situation.

I realise he doesn't want to re-live previous situations, but he's being excessively aggressive about it.

Don't tackle him about this now, he's under pressure with his parents' and sister's situation.... Cut him some slack.

But when things ease, and you're back on an equal footing, talk to him about how it upsets you....

You'll get an impression of how he feels by how he takes it.

[Ronni_W]

I just said, if you need anything please let me know. ...[then] at 4:00am, I was a nervous wreck ... so I said is everything okay? Do you need anything?

Notwithstanding that he has "communication issues" that he needs to work on...

It doesn't sound as if you are using what you've already learned about him to your own (or his) advantage -- one thing might be to learn to WAIT for him to speak first, once in a while.

You allowed your own nervousness to cause you to react instead of waiting for him to say something (or ask for something) to which you could calmly respond. And you allowed your own desire and eagerness to be all helpful and "there for him" to cause you to forget that you ALREADY told him to let you know if he needed anything...and then you didn't give him the chance to do that.

 

In general, it is possible that he is feeling that YOU are too quick to jump in and fill in all the spaces and opportunities for meaningful dialogue. Not that you're doing it on purpose or to annoy him, but that it has (or may have) become your tendency or habit. And he is finding it frustrating, and he is unable to communicate his frustration effectively -- mostly that's on him, but partly it might be due to your own communication style.

 

Maybe it would be helpful if, for a while, you didn't look at it so much as an opportunity to "defend yourself" but instead, a chance to self-reflect and ask yourself, "Hhmmm...did I just jump in too fast again?" -- and THEN you can defend or say, "Oopsie, you're right...I am wanting to change that part of how I interact with you. Thanks for pointing that out."

And recognize that, for where HE is right now, trying to communicate your deep feelings, dislikes, preferences, etc. by telephone is NOT in YOUR best interest, or good for your relationship. Stop doing it. It's not working. It's only causing more friction and conflict.

 

And continue to help him see that he needs to be working on his own communication (including listening) skills -- he can't just use his old experiences with his ex, to stay dysfunctional with you -- he needs to be able to verbalize his needs and discontent instead of hanging up on you like an 8-year old, or getting angry when you do express your own needs and differing opinions.

[KinAZ]

I'm not saying his behavior was just, but some guys feel nagged by things we consider helpful. If he's feeling like you don't think he can manage on his own or like you're... I don't know what the word is at the moment, but just not giving him the space to do what he needs to do, then he might be a little irritated by this. Especially if he had a complaining ex, that could only make it worse. Are most of the fights about similar things?

 

My ex wasn't as tightly wound, but I was always careful with my offers and suggestions. I knew how he was, and just let him know once on a matter at that time that I could help or whatever if he needed. Or, if there was some small minor suggestion that I thought would be of great use, I only mentioned it once.... Similarly, if there was something I thought he might need to talk about, I wouldn't ask for deep detail.

 

He just needed to know that I was there. When he was willing to share something, he would do it in his own way and in his own time. And especially if he seems a little short or moody, don't push a matter. I know, I know... only trying to help. I'm the same way. It's just that, this guy's ex aside, some men deal with such things differently than others. He knew how to talk and express when he wanted, he knew how to ask or request when he wanted.

 

Since he has a lot going on right now, try not to push those buttons, and then wait till a more appropriate time to let him know that you need him to deal with his frustrations in a way that's less hurtful. Depending on the guy, it could take time. Depending on the guy, it may never change. And then, you have to decide whether you're willing to accept that flaw, and work around it through understanding "that's how he can be", or if you simply can't.

 

Just make sure you don't let yourself becomes sucked into a position where you NEVER speak up. I argue, my mom argues, I was in a relationship with an arguer for years... some people argue and it means very little. Some take such things more personally. In any event there should still be some level of compromise and understanding regarding such things.

[Bells]

I'm besides myself right now because I am utterly pissed by my boyfriend's childish behavior.

 

This is the biggest thing that pisses me off about our relationship. When we are together we have a great time, we laugh, we enjoy each other's company and the funny thing is that we never fight. But once we get on the phone and we talk something I say almost always manages to piss him off and he hangs up the phone.

 

He can't take direct criticism when he's wrong. His excuse is that he doesn't want to fight with me because that's all he did with his ex-wife, but at the same time hanging up the phone on me because you don't like what I said is disrespectful.

 

Point and case:

His sister was admitted to the hospital last night, she has a failing kidney and his parents were at the hospital up until midnight last night, so he came to the hospital so they could go home and get some sleep. He called me while driving there to tell me that she was there. I asked if he needed me there, he said no don't get out of bed and that was that. Later in the conversation I just said, if you need anything please let me know. I'll go and get it for you or her. He said okay but right now I don't need anything. OKAY! Fine.... we hung up and he called me back at 4:00am, I was a nervous wreck because phone calls that late at night usually indicate some type of emergency so I said is everything okay? Do you need anything? And he snapped at me! "Why do you keep asking me that?" Don't piss me off okay?" That came out of nowhere to me so I had to defend myself, I said to him, honey I'm just trying to be there for you.. ease the pressure a little bit and I freaking sunk to the ground like the dumb a-- that I am and even apologized. He said fine, whatever -- I don't know about you guys but for some reason tha word whatever just ticks me off... so I got angry I said how could you be so rude to me? You are the one calling me at 4:00 in the morning. He said okay again and hung up.

 

I called back and he never answered, In fact, he sent me to voicemail.

 

It's almost like it's okay for him to be pissed off but once I speak up I'm being a over-zealous super powerful bit-h. I don't like that feeling because it makes me feel like I will never be able to express myself.

 

I understand he had communications issues with his ex-wife because all she did was argue with him and point fingers at him but how do I communicate my feelings if he's going to get defensive and shut down the communication?

 

Actually, I know someone that solved that problem.....when it was HER turn...she'd hang up on HIM.

 

By doing that, she taught him a lesson, and he realized how it felt.

[Sinner86]

I agree actually, sometimes I can overdo it when it comes to being suggestive about helping out but I still don't think that justifies him hanging up. I think at the very least he should tell me straight up, I don't want to talk about x,y,z right now rather than hang up on me. At least I know there's an opportunity in the future to discuss both of our feelings. But when he hangs up, and then the next day acts as if nothing happened? It blows my mind.

[CR125R]

What I think is honestly going on is that he is worried about his sister, but thinks that since he is a guy he should not be to worried, I am the same way, the other day I was told my grampas cancer has spread to his spine and he only has two months to live, I said ok and went back to doing school work. So unless he has shown this behavior in the past he is probaly just worrried about his sister, and I did not read the other posts because they were to long, so sorry if this has been said.

[Ronni_W]

I think at the very least he should tell me straight up, I don't want to talk about x,y,z right now rather than hang up on me.

You are exactly right, about that. The thing is that he hasn't yet developed his communication skills to that level. That is, at this stage, he doesn't know HOW to tell his needs and wants in a 'straight up' manner. It is HIS problem, of course.

 

All you can hope for, at this point, is that you'll be able to help him see that his under-developed skills are hurting his own ability to have positive and nurturing relationships, and that his behaviour is negatively impacting the people he cares about.

Because, nothing is going to change about how he communicates until HE recognizes the need for change in this area, and then realizes the benefits that HE would derive, if he made the effort to change.

 

Until then, unfortunately, you will often find yourself stuck on the other side of a dead 'phone connection...unless you minimize, or really manage the content of, your telephonic contact with him.

[KinAZ]

@ Sinner86 : LOL! Sounds familiar to me. He's not very likely to be so expressive with "I don't like it when you..." or "I don't want to talk about this right now". As bells said, teaching lessons can work with time, once he sees that a lesson needs to be learned. But by the time my ex learned a lesson it was like "WTF?! You've been this way for how many years? Why are you apologizing now?! I KNOW how you are already." heh heh heh. It was cute, but very unnecessary by the time he saw the light.

 

Have you looked at any of the men are from mars women are from venus books? I can't say that I totally agree with everything, but they talk about this matter fairly well. You're not his mommy. (Oh sure, they may want us to cook and clean, etc, but they don't want us to tell them what to do, when, or how. Even too many helpful suggestions can feel like you're telling them what to do, or that you don't think they can manage on their own or something. Something like that. I just know from experience what made who grumpy. He could manage on his own so I let him.)

 

So, when it comes to hanging up... that's an emotional reaction, and it could be that he doesn't feel like you truly believe he can manage on his own. If you do, why give so much advice? I know, I know... just trying to help. But for some strange reason, it interferes with the testosterone when done inside of romantic relationships.

[Sinner86]

@CR125R: He does have a very deep connection to his sister so I can understand how the stress may cause him to feel a way about me being too pushy with my suggestions.. I know.. it's like.. stop bothering me which I clearly understand but damn. I still don't like it ... lol

 

@Ronni_W: I honestly believe that his communication skills are under developed and I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens after all of this stress cures itself but I'm not holding my breath for it to change anytime soon.

 

@KinAZ: I guess I definitely have to stop being suggestive or at least minimize it and I know, I'm not his mommy ...it's just the nice girl in me but again, I'll cut that down. But I disagree that it's an emotional reaction because he's done this to me under different scenarios.

 

Another case and point:

Went to NY for the weekend to hang out with his guy friends, I didn't bother him, didn't call or nag in fact I checked in on him via text... hope traffic wasn't a bummer. have fun... love you. and that was that. He ended up calling me several times that weekend and after a party he went to on Saturday night called me at 2am to tell me that he was coming home because HE missed me (I swear I had nothing to do with it LOL), as he was driving home I tried to stay awake on the phone to keep him awake also but I must have dozed off for about 10 seconds or so and he went freaking crazy on me...he was like, you don't care about me. I could have gotten into an accident and you're over there sleeping and he hung up!

 

I called back and he conveniently kept sending me to voicemail.

 

First and foremost, I never asked for him to come home and I did find it humbling that he missed me that much to even want to come back from the city to be with me. Secondly, it was 2 in the morning... are people not supposed to be sleeping?

 

I felt like I had failed him.

 

So do I think it's an emotional response? No. I think he's got to learn to seperate who I am and our relationship from his ex and their past together. It's just outright rude.

[manugeorge]

Puhlease, no matter what the situation is, there is no excuse to hang up on people. What is he, 2?. Even if someone is really really pissing you off, all you have to say is "I'm hanging up now, I'll talk to you later", THEN hang up. Not just a click mid-sentence. Seriously, who does that?

 

You got a disrespectful immature man on your hands and the fact that he has been married before means he's not a teenager so he clearly knows this is bad behavior. And the fact that he can't distinguish helpful questions from his ex-wife's nagging?

 

I won't stand for it, under no circumstances. He needs to grow up!

[gd26]

Puhlease, no matter what the situation is, there is no excuse to hang up on people. What is he, 2?. Even if someone is really really pissing you off, all you have to say is "I'm hanging up now, I'll talk to you later", THEN hang up. Not just a click mid-sentence. Seriously, who does that?

 

You got a disrespectful immature man on your hands and the fact that he has been married before means he's not a teenager so he clearly knows this is bad behavior. And the fact that he can't distinguish helpful questions from his ex-wife's nagging?

 

I won't stand for it, under no circumstances. He needs to grow up!

 

100% agreed.

[SeaBrooke]

When he hangs up on you....do you wait to hear from him. Or are you contacting him and not waiting for him to call you. I dated someone like this very recently. I'm not sure how old your guy is but the one i was with is in his late 40's.

 

It's my experience that the majority of men I have known in my life, loathe being analyzed by anyone, never mind people they are in a romantic relationship with.

 

Most people in general, even women find it insulting when friends of theirs try an get inside their head to figure out why they do things they do or behave certain ways.

 

If you wait to hear from him, after one of his hang up episodes. i wouldn't bring it up with him. Simply change your own behavior in how you respond to him. Don't offer solutions to his problems, men like to figure out their own problems, let him ask you for help or your opinion. He is a MAN, they have their ego's. Pride themselves on being able to handle all situations and their strength.

 

You already know he cares about you, is attracted to you, he is with you.

 

when you are on the phone with him, keep things brief. Listen. Listening is a great way to be there for him.

 

Good Luck!

[KinAZ]

@KinAZ: I guess I definitely have to stop being suggestive or at least minimize it and I know, I'm not his mommy ...it's just the nice girl in me but again, I'll cut that down. But I disagree that it's an emotional reaction because he's done this to me under different scenarios.

 

Another case and point:

Went to NY for the weekend to hang out with his guy friends, I didn't bother him, didn't call or nag in fact I checked in on him via text... hope traffic wasn't a bummer. have fun... love you. and that was that. He ended up calling me several times that weekend and after a party he went to on Saturday night called me at 2am to tell me that he was coming home because HE missed me (I swear I had nothing to do with it LOL), as he was driving home I tried to stay awake on the phone to keep him awake also but I must have dozed off for about 10 seconds or so and he went freaking crazy on me...he was like, you don't care about me. I could have gotten into an accident and you're over there sleeping and he hung up!

 

I called back and he conveniently kept sending me to voicemail.

 

That doesn't sound emotional to you?

 

That's still VERY emotional. I'm not saying that his actions are correct, or that he isn't being overly emotional about things. But he might have been hurt because he was talking and you feel asleep on him. Hyper-sensitive? SURE! But that's still an emotional reaction.

 

When you're sure things have cooled down with his sister and such, make sure you have a talk with him about how he handles those things.

 

Secondly, it was 2 in the morning... are people not supposed to be sleeping?

 

I felt like I had failed him.

 

So do I think it's an emotional response? No. I think he's got to learn to seperate who I am and our relationship from his ex and their past together. It's just outright rude.

You're right. He should be understanding when you're sleepy. Maybe he's just needy and insecure. Maybe he has some other emotional issues. Maybe he tests the boundaries to see what he can get away with. But still, such childlike behavior is usually an emotional reaction to something. When people aren't handling matters logically, they're letting their emotions override good sense.

 

Instead of expressing "I'm hurt or insulted that you [something]" he's hanging up the phone. It's just like slamming a door. It serves no purpose according to reason.

 

Again, I'm not saying he's right. While it can help to know how to or how not to deal with people individually, the same has to be said for him as well. He's not expressing himself properly. And even beyond that, his expressions and even emotions aren't even in consideration for your perspective.

 

I'm not saying that you should drop this guy like a hot potato, but rather that when the time is appropriate... let him know that he needs to find a different way to deal with his frustrations.

 

What was he talking about when you fell asleep? Are you sure nothing happened to him on the trip that got under his skin? Again, not saying that his actions were at all just, but if the reaction wasn't dictated by logic, it was dictated by emotions.

[Angel1111]

Honestly, your comment would've annoyed me a little, also. Not that it deserved the reaction he gave you but it is annoying that a person constantly hears from another person asking how much they can do for you. And to top that off, men are often insulted by offers to help because it's an affront to their capabilities and they translate it to mean that you think he's not capable and that you need to keep interjecting yourself in his life so that he can survive. He obviously has some hot buttons and it would be good to figure out what those are. At the same time, he doesn't fight fair or respectfully. This is not a good sign.

 

Being hung up on is highly offensive and I'd lay down some guildlines for him quickly. First of all, agree to listen when he tells you - or when you sense - that you're annoying him, and let him know that if he ever hangs up on you again, you won't tolerate it. And if that means walking away from the relationship, then that's what it means.

 

There may be issues with his ex coming into play here but it may because he acts the same way with you as he did with her. It may also be that you're doing or saying similar things that his ex did and said that's pushign his buttons. Regardless, this is not the way to have a conversation or an argument and what he demonstrates is continual disrespect. You need to make this stop immediately because everytime he does it and you stick around, you're sending the message that you're ok with being disrespected. Not a good message to send.

 

Hanging up on you is a power play and I hate to say it but this guy is extremely immature and controlling. I think you're making a mistake by staying with him.

[shykitty]

I'm besides myself right now because I am utterly pissed by my boyfriend's childish behavior.

 

This is the biggest thing that pisses me off about our relationship. When we are together we have a great time, we laugh, we enjoy each other's company and the funny thing is that we never fight. But once we get on the phone and we talk something I say almost always manages to piss him off and he hangs up the phone.

 

He can't take direct criticism when he's wrong. His excuse is that he doesn't want to fight with me because that's all he did with his ex-wife, but at the same time hanging up the phone on me because you don't like what I said is disrespectful.

 

Point and case:

His sister was admitted to the hospital last night, she has a failing kidney and his parents were at the hospital up until midnight last night, so he came to the hospital so they could go home and get some sleep. He called me while driving there to tell me that she was there. I asked if he needed me there, he said no don't get out of bed and that was that. Later in the conversation I just said, if you need anything please let me know. I'll go and get it for you or her. He said okay but right now I don't need anything. OKAY! Fine.... we hung up and he called me back at 4:00am, I was a nervous wreck because phone calls that late at night usually indicate some type of emergency so I said is everything okay? Do you need anything? And he snapped at me! "Why do you keep asking me that?" Don't piss me off okay?" That came out of nowhere to me so I had to defend myself, I said to him, honey I'm just trying to be there for you.. ease the pressure a little bit and I freaking sunk to the ground like the dumb a-- that I am and even apologized. He said fine, whatever -- I don't know about you guys but for some reason tha word whatever just ticks me off... so I got angry I said how could you be so rude to me? You are the one calling me at 4:00 in the morning. He said okay again and hung up.

 

I called back and he never answered, In fact, he sent me to voicemail.

 

It's almost like it's okay for him to be pissed off but once I speak up I'm being a over-zealous super powerful bit-h. I don't like that feeling because it makes me feel like I will never be able to express myself.

 

I understand he had communications issues with his ex-wife because all she did was argue with him and point fingers at him but how do I communicate my feelings if he's going to get defensive and shut down the communication?

 

it seems like he's really stressed at what's happening with his sister, rather than at you. But he's not good at expressing his feelings in the right way.

[Walk]

Another case and point:

Went to NY for the weekend to hang out with his guy friends, I didn't bother him, didn't call or nag in fact I checked in on him via text... hope traffic wasn't a bummer. have fun... love you. and that was that. He ended up calling me several times that weekend and after a party he went to on Saturday night called me at 2am to tell me that he was coming home because HE missed me (I swear I had nothing to do with it LOL), as he was driving home I tried to stay awake on the phone to keep him awake also but I must have dozed off for about 10 seconds or so and he went freaking crazy on me...he was like, you don't care about me. I could have gotten into an accident and you're over there sleeping and he hung up!

I'm having a hard time getting past the fact that he hung up on you because you fell asleep. I want to say "Like, duh", because that's about all that situation requires. Of course a person would nod off when extremely tired. It was his reponsibility to not drive when he was so tired that his life (or others) could be put in jeopardy by being behind the wheel. He didn't do it for you, he drove home because HE wanted to, not because you told him to. He shifted the blame onto your shoulders and then punished you for "failing" him.

 

I believe his argumentative previous relationship was half due to his communication skills. I highly doubt he did a 180 from "good communicator" to rude little brat between the two relationships. I think the only factor the previous relationship has in your relationship is that it creates a convient excuse for him to continue behaving poorly. Your bf doesn't seem to take any responsibilty for issues in his previous relationship. Doesn't that seem a little off to you? Does he place the blame for the poor communication in this relationship on you too?

 

So, throw these two factors into the mix. He blames you for endangering his life even though it was HIS decision to drive. He blames his ex wife for the arguing with him. Maybe it'd be a good idea for you to take a step back and try to look at a bigger picture. Does he have other areas where he shifts blame for his own actions? Is he capable of taking responsibility for his actions or does he point the fingers at others?

[Angel1111]

I'm having a hard time getting past the fact that he hung up on you because you fell asleep. I want to say "Like, duh", because that's about all that situation requires. Of course a person would nod off when extremely tired. It was his reponsibility to not drive when he was so tired that his life (or others) could be put in jeopardy by being behind the wheel. He didn't do it for you, he drove home because HE wanted to, not because you told him to. He shifted the blame onto your shoulders and then punished you for "failing" him.

 

I believe his argumentative previous relationship was half due to his communication skills. I highly doubt he did a 180 from "good communicator" to rude little brat between the two relationships. I think the only factor the previous relationship has in your relationship is that it creates a convient excuse for him to continue behaving poorly. Your bf doesn't seem to take any responsibilty for issues in his previous relationship. Doesn't that seem a little off to you? Does he place the blame for the poor communication in this relationship on you too?

 

So, throw these two factors into the mix. He blames you for endangering his life even though it was HIS decision to drive. He blames his ex wife for the arguing with him. Maybe it'd be a good idea for you to take a step back and try to look at a bigger picture. Does he have other areas where he shifts blame for his own actions? Is he capable of taking responsibility for his actions or does he point the fingers at others?

 

Me thinks you just hit the nail squarely on the head.

[KinAZ]

OOooo! I over looked that part. I totally missed that he said that he could have gotten into an accident.

 

He sounds really... he sounds insecure and rather frustrated because of it. You want the support, but you don't want to feel like you're helpless. He's needing something he's not getting, but he'll never find it if he doesn't acknowledge (and first realize) what he's missing.

 

We get so wrapped up in "me, me, me" that sometimes we're not as attentive, understanding, or empathetic as we should be. But this is something that goes both ways. He may not be getting what he feels he needs, but he's not taking the needs of others into consideration here. I know that feeling, and I've felt that way before. And yes, it can make you moody. (Well, I didn't become moody until after I clearly expressed my needs repeatedly, and there was no effort to meet them.)

[RecordProducer]

It's almost like it's okay for him to be pissed off but once I speak up I'm being a over-zealous super powerful bit-h. I don't like that feeling because it makes me feel like I will never be able to express myself.

This is precisely what he is trying to achieve: to make sure you fear him and never oppose him. Next on the menu are silent treatment, break-up threats, insults, comments how you embarass him when you do or say things in public... Until you turn into a fearful slave who does, says and thinks what he wants. He wants control over you. If you piss him off, you get punished. With the phone thing, he is testing you; if you accept to play by his rules, you're good material.

 

I don't know what to tell you. A non-compromising, controlling, selfish person will always find ways to make you miserable. You can teach them to respect you in a hundred areas, but they'll find one or two things to mess with your head enough to defeat you.

 

I understand he had communications issues with his ex-wife because all she did was argue with him and point fingers at him but how do I communicate my feelings if he's going to get defensive and shut down the communication?

 

Don't listen to his version of the story. Wives argue because they are not happy with their husbands, not because there's an arguing type of woman for whom arguing is a hobby.

[Walk]

Don't listen to his version of the story. Wives argue because they are not happy with their husbands, not because there's an arguing type of woman for whom arguing is a hobby.

 

I agree RP.

[Trialbyfire]

sinner, your b/f sucks royally at communicating. Set the ground rules now, for reasonable courtesy. If he can't live by it, you know you have a compatibility issue.

 

Having said that, don't keep forcing your way into his life. There are more than enough people, nvm men who prefer to handle things on their own, at their own pace. I think there's a component of you being further down the relationship than he is. When that happens, pull back to his pace or decide if this is enough for you.

[johan]

I wouldn't hang up on you.

[Vertex]

Who honestly gets pissed off at someone for dozing off when being called at 2 am? Ridiculous.

 

To me, it sounds like this guy has an overinflated sense of power. He supposedly never needs help from anyone, pushes his own responsibilities and actions onto others, and seems overly controlling. He's using his prior relationship as an easy-out excuse to act like a flaming retard. If things get heavy on his end, he just wants to use the ex card as an excuse to bail out because he doesn't want you to somehow gain an upper hand in an argument, here.

 

He clearly has no right to get pissed off at you for dozing off a bit on the phone in the middle of the night. He also has no right to treat you with such disrespect by hanging up on you all the time. My recent ex did this to me all the time, and it was infuriating. Total lack of respect. Don't let someone treat you that way.

[Nemo]

I wouldn't hang up on you.

That's what they call well-hung.

 

To the OP - it seems like you have a tendency to put your foot in your mouth. Over time, you will learn to think a little more before you speak.