DealingWDrama Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 Yesterday my H received another text...this time it says, "DWD was right. There is no baby. Never was!" Of course it didn't say DWD, it said my name...but what do you think????
Geishawhelk Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 You were right, there was no baby, never was. No what are you going to do?
Author DealingWDrama Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 I have no idea if she is telling the truth or not...
Owl Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 Why is she still in contact at all with your H???? Seriously...he needs to block her. Give her the number to your lawyer's office....tell her that any and all contact with your H or you needs to go through him. Get this whackdoodle outta your life already!
whichwayisup Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 Exactly. Block her. Let me ask - Did your husband reply back to her? You two need to end this now because this is getting ridculious! You two need to confront her and tell her to stop harrassing and making up stories - Otherwise you'll get the police involved. This OW is loopy and who knows what she is capable of.
winter Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 change all of your contact info. - phone number - cell number - email addresses block all known numbers and email addresses that she has I'm rather shocked that you haven't already blocked communication from her if she is truly unwanted in your lives. Seems like a hell of a lot of drama!
Author DealingWDrama Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 I have the house phone blocked from her, but we are with AT&T on the cell phones and there is no way to block text messaging...if the number was easily replaced, it would have been changed already. Remember, I gave her his cell phone number so she would stop calling and harassing him at work - also a cell phone gives true evidence of when and how they are contacting one another. She is texting...not calling the cell...and no he did not reply to her...he hasn't replied at all. I told him we need to do a little lurking and see if she is pregnant or not...I agree 100% she is a loopy chick...I just wanna know if she is saying she isn't pregnant to try to be slick and jump up with a kid in 4 or 5 months or if she was faking it all along...ya know what I mean?!?
Geishawhelk Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 Honestly? I think to prolong this contact and keep up this exchange is feeding her loopiness.. and I think you're a bit loopy to do it.... I'm sorry, but if you keep accepting her txts, she's just going to keep going.... Can't you just blank her off? Get a new mobile 'phone and discard this one.....Put it in a draw and turn it off.....
Author DealingWDrama Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 I changed my cell phone number after the initial conversation...if she is with child then I thought it was the responsible thing to do to give her H's cell phone number. Legally text messages are good ammo to prove that he did not abandon her in her 'condition' therefore giving him the right to pursue visitation or joint custody or whatever when the 'child' was born. I myself am a little loopie ... I'm on a forum chatting with strangers about things I can't talk to my family about...no need in letting them in on the drama if the whole thing is a lie. They know about the affair, ect but not about the 'child' ... That is why I come here to vent and get opinions...just like most of the other women and men on here, I would suppose.
Author DealingWDrama Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 Hire a PI. That is exactly what I am looking into today...lol! That way no more having to worry...or wonder.
Author DealingWDrama Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 I'm rather shocked that you haven't already blocked communication from her if she is truly unwanted in your lives. Seems like a hell of a lot of drama! If it wasn't for the 'pregnancy' she would have been erased long before now...
Geishawhelk Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 I wasn't having a go, or criticising you. But I recognise how destructive continued contact must be for you. Closure is impossible whilst she's still actively pestering you. How are you and H supposed to rebuild your lives with her head constantly popping up over the parapet? I feel for you, and I wish there was a better solution to keep up with what she's doing, but that at the same time, would enable you two to put it behind you... I guess it's a real poser, huh?
Author DealingWDrama Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 Give her the number to your lawyer's office....tell her that any and all contact with your H or you needs to go through him. I know this sounds like a 'lame' excuse...but my lawyer's retainer fee is $3500 dollars...that's about 7000 pounds...if she is not pregnant - that would be $3500 bucks down the tube...no refunds.
a4a Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 DWD Hang in there - you are doing great so far.... (I am amazed actually). Hire a PI - get the info now. Document it. If she is this nutso she is not fit to be a parent.
Owl Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 You talked about using the text messages as legal evidence he didn't 'abandon' her... Have you taken all of this through a lawyer? I really think you should consider doing so if you haven't.
Author DealingWDrama Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 I wasn't having a go, or criticising you. But I recognise how destructive continued contact must be for you. Closure is impossible whilst she's still actively pestering you. How are you and H supposed to rebuild your lives with her head constantly popping up over the parapet? I feel for you, and I wish there was a better solution to keep up with what she's doing, but that at the same time, would enable you two to put it behind you... I guess it's a real poser, huh? No offense taken...it is a "poser"! It's a huge pain in the @ss!!!! We only discuss things for a few moments when he shows me the text messages...then the conversation gets diverted. We don't argue about the situation - it is what it is...I think her entire goal is to sabotage our marriage...the texts come right before he gets home...I'm no fool...she needs help.
Author DealingWDrama Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 You talked about using the text messages as legal evidence he didn't 'abandon' her... Have you taken all of this through a lawyer? I really think you should consider doing so if you haven't. Yes, my cousin is a VERY good and reputable family attorney.
Author DealingWDrama Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 DWD Hang in there - you are doing great so far.... (I am amazed actually). Hire a PI - get the info now. Document it. If she is this nutso she is not fit to be a parent. Thanks a4a - working on it....wow am I working on it...I need a vacation!!!! Rome is nice this time of year, right? lol.
MizzBlue72 Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 I agree - I would have H block all and change all forms of contact with OW
Owl Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 COOL!!! That's the biggest concern I had, beyond the continued contact from her to your husband. I can see where her actions are definitely making her less attractive to him. But its always best to end contact between prior affair partners to prevent the recurrence of the affair. That's why I'd suggested all contact go through a lawyer (your cousin)...so there's no more direct communication between the two of them, but your H is still clearly 'doing the right thing' and not abandoning her. Just my suggestion. Let me ask you this...what active steps are the two of you taking to recover your marriage from his infidelity? Marriage counseling, going on dates, etc...? Or is this drama sucking up most of your effort right now?
Author DealingWDrama Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 COOL!!! Let me ask you this...what active steps are the two of you taking to recover your marriage from his infidelity? Marriage counseling, going on dates, etc...? Or is this drama sucking up most of your effort right now? We have been dating...having a blast for the most part! We are planning marriage counseling soon to help us individually with issues...this mess more or less complicates that idea - I'd hate to go to marriage counseling and get a text from her before we go in there...as I've said before A's are syptoms of bigger problems. We spend more time actually communicating now more than anything. It's terrific ... we are getting to know one another again.
wildsoul Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 If he got a text before going into the therapists office, that would be ideal! Letting those issues get triggered helps the therapist see how you 2 respond to it, and then they can help you improve. Strong advice with a soft tone of voice: You are showing signs of obsession and need to stop engaging in the drama triangle. Make NO efforts to find out if she is pregnant or not (except as allowable by the courts.) No checking up. No need to hire a PI. Understandably, you are trying to exert control over this big huge thing you cannot control. Yet the obsession is in itself a sign of how this is making you sick. Even stronger advice: You did not create this affair. It's not your problem to solve. Your problem to solve is the repair of your marriage. That's all. Find a way to let go of obsessing about her.
Lucky_One Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 Yes, my cousin is a VERY good and reputable family attorney. Man, your cousin won't write a letter to this woman for less than $3500?? Unbelievable.
Recommended Posts