mooninite Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 I'm a guy, 23. We were best friends for 3 years in college. Anyways, I moved away (job related) across the country about 6 months ago. No, we never had any type of drunken "thing" even remotely. Nor was I ever attracted to him. It's just he was perhaps the only person I've ever felt I clicked with. We'd talk about anything and everything, from girls, booze, nerdy stuff, school, music, politics, you name it. We had so many common interests, and we both introduced each other to a ton of other cool stuff which became even more mutual interests. We'd talk **** to each other, play pranks, and it'd all be in good fun with zero drama or awkwardness. Same outlooks on religion, people, life, humor, types of women we liked and dated, you name it. Never any fights, never felt weird talking to him about anything. We were even roomates for a year, drinking buddies every weekend, study buddies, etc... and now that we haven;t hung out for so long, I've realized how none of my other friends compare/compared - including the ones I know out here and ones that I knew for longer back where I used to live. It'd still feel awkward telling them certain things about me, I'd be acting differently around them, the occasional pause in convo... not with this kid I'm tlaking about. I feel like I've known him all my life. Do you guys understand where I'm coming from? hard to explain but there are often days where I don't feel like hanging out with the current girl I'm dating, my current friends, and my current roomate. Not with my old best friend I'm talking about - I used to feel, and I did - hang out with him daily, and it'd never get tiring or boring. There are times when I've thought "damn, if this guy had boobs and a vagina, I'd do him in a heartbeat and he'd be my soulmate". I'm planning on taking PTO from work in a bit to visit him and some of my other fcollege riends, and that's all I can think about, how much fun that weekend will be hanging with him - especially kicking it with him only - than the weekends here hanging around here with my current friends, or my other old friends from college. He once brought up about how he might be working here for the summer back in May for an internship (he ended up not taking it), and I got more excited than I've ever been in the girl I;ve been dating for the past 3 months. sooooooo... is this weird? 6 months, new job, new friends and I still can't get over leaving my best friend and how much fun we had. and more importantly, how do I get over this?
Geishawhelk Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 Have you been in touch at all? Because I have to warn you, it could go one of two ways: On the one hand, you might pick up from where you left off, as if you'd never been apart (which is common, and is really great!) But on the other hand, you may wonder how far you've both moved on. It's great, for my opinion, that you've forged such a great friendship. As far as I know, it's not as common for men to become as close to other men as you have, without any sexual connection. It's fine, and I see nothing bad about that at all. On the contrary. It's a lot more common for women..... keep up the firendship. When all is said and done, it's too rare a thing to let it slip, and to have a friend like this whom you can call on in times of crud.... keep it going if you can.
carhill Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 OP, he likely feels to you like a twin brother and what you're likely feeling is the lines of emotional bonding blurring. I've had moments like that with my best friend and people have often commented (think I heard it first from his wife) that we look like brothers. It's perfectly normal, though most men won't talk about it (to other men). Just stay in touch with him. That's easy these days with all the communication options. Keep the connection going. If your friendship is true, you can resume it in person at any time and it will be there for life. Take proactive steps to nurture it. Sounds like a pretty special relationship to me
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