lala13 Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 I'm going to try and not have this be a novel so that you can get thru it faster and give me some much needed insight... i knew this man 10 years ago and we were very close as friends and before we could tell one another that we had both fallen in love with the other, life separated us in a very uneventful way. there was no falling out, no fight, just that our lives had run different directions that took us on our own life paths... skip ahead 10 years. we re-met, fell back in love (as i thought) but again, life separated us. we stayed close friends, but the love stuff had to be put on hold as he was going thru life changes that he needed to deal with alone. well, last week when i was in his town, he asked me to stay the weekend with him and see his new house and spend some time together. of course i did. but when it came to the actual time we spent together, it was weird and awkward and he barely spoke to me when usually he and i can't stop talking about anything and everything. yes, i'm in love with him, but outside of that, we've been thick as thieves each and every time we talk. this weekend, i couldn't pull anything out of him. he paid for every single thing we did, which i was a little uneasy with since i usually like to help pay for things, but he insisted, but then turned around and treated me like he had nothing to say to me. i was hurt and i snapped at the end of the weekend telling him that it had been a crappy weekend but that i didn't want to talk about it. i didn't explain myself furthur, so as far as i know, at this moment, he thinks i'm an ungrateful bitch that snapped at him for no reason. he's not one that likes to argue, and i am the same, and i didn't want to cause waves at the time. stupid decision. we didn't speak the rest of our time together except for when i apologized that night and his only response was "okay." he dropped me off at the weekend's end at the airport and gave me the least sincere hug i've ever had. yeah... he's done with me, isn't he? there's no other way to see this, right? he gave me more than enough non-verbal reasons to let him go and forget our past, didn't he? i don't think i'm reading this wrong, but i wanted to make sure since he has been the man i've been waiting to come back into my life for over 10 years and when he did, it was better than before... until now... clear as mud? have at me.
BackonTrack Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 Give it time. Maybe something was bothering him, he seem distant, but wanted you around. Maybe something happen and he just wanted your company. He probably knows why you snapped at him also, he's not stupid. He knew you 10 years right??? Depending on your connection with him, show up at his house with a movie or something. Or let time do its thing. Why would u think its over? If your thinking its OVER, there must be a reason. Why are you thinking this way? because of one incident or has this pattern been seen before?
2sunny Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 i think i would try to clear the air by having a conversation with him. ask him if something was on his mind that was making him not himself. maybe he's preoccupied with something, and it would give you a chance to be a good friend and listen to his concerns. then take the opportunity to apologize for snapping at him, at the same time allowing to understand that you want to continue to be his friend.
Rafa Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 It definitely sounds like something was bothering him that weekend. He wanted it to be a good weekend, made an effort in other ways, but something was on his mind and he found it difficult to talk about. Have you slept with this guy?
Intergalactic Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 yeah, i'd give it some time and then approach him about it calmly. it seems really out of the blue that he suddenly doesn't love you anymore, after so many years of chasing each other. also, you seem really ready to believe that's it, and that it's "over for good". why is that?
Grrlish Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 i think i would try to clear the air by having a conversation with him. ask him if something was on his mind that was making him not himself. maybe he's preoccupied with something, and it would give you a chance to be a good friend and listen to his concerns. then take the opportunity to apologize for snapping at him, at the same time allowing to understand that you want to continue to be his friend. I agree. I would initiate a conversation about what happened. I don't quite understand how the two of you have been so close and yet you didn't ask him over the weekend if there was something on his mind. It's been a long time. It is a possibility that perhaps he is no longer in love with you. Or there could have been something else that was distracting him. I, too, think that you owe him an apology for snapping at him. Then, I would tell him why you snapped at him without placing the blame for you snapping at him, on him. I mean, perhaps he was behaving in a certain way but that doesn't mean that it was his fault that you snapped at him. And telling him that you had a crappy weekend and leaving without telling him why, after he put out the invitation and the effort, wasn't really very nice, hon. It's your move. You may as well at least honor your friendship and your past by clearing the air and coming clean about your behavior. You may also then be able to figure out what was going on and hopefully how he feels about you...instead of sitting and guessing and feeling bad. Good luck.
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