livinlovin Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 Three weeks ago, I found out that my boyfriend was an alcoholic. From what he tells me, I think he has also been dealing with bouts of depression (or maybe the two are interconnected). Since he told me, he hasn't had a drink. To keep his focus off of alcohol, he has tried to keep himself busy with work, running, or video games. I'm proud of him for not having a drink in three weeks, but I feel like he's still avoiding the problems that got him here. He tried going to AA, didn't like it. I knew the "higher power" stuff wouldn't sit well with him. Now he is trying to find a good counselor. The problem is, I feel like a selfish b**ch, but I am having a hard time with his entire focus being on running as a means to get him out of this. I don't feel like a relationship is possible in this situation. Even though I love him, I feel like right now I am giving, giving, giving and getting nothing in return. I know his focus is on his recovery (or abstinence for now, as I don't think he's quite "recovering" yet). I love him and want to be there for him, but part of me is thinking that I am wasting my time and that this one-sidedness is what our relationship has turned out to be and what it will be for good. Before these issues came up, everything seemed so great between us and he treated me better than anyone I've ever dated. Has anyone been through this? Is a relationship possible in this situation? I tried going to Al-anon to get more info on what he's going through, but I didn't identify with the group very well as I don't feel very dependent on my bf.
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