daterhater Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 so this guy i knew several years ago moved to my town. i really like him and want to get to know him. on friday i went to an afterparty with my friend David (who is also a friend of my crush) because i knew he'd be there. i kept trying to find a chance to be alone with him so we could talk and catch up. what would happen is me, david, and crush would be standing outside talking and a minute or two later, my crush would walk away and go inside. this happened throughout the night. he barely talked. he mainly just laughed at things other people said. it was so awkward. this annoyed me. he never stuck around. so finally i gave up and just had fun (with hopes he'd notice). i mainly hung out with our friend david and another guy i knew. so why does he do this? we kissed on nye years eve several years ago, so i know i must not be THAT bad??? he makes me feel really sad. i'm not a bad looking person. is he shy or is he just not that into me? oh yeah... i'm pretty sure he thinks i am in a serious relationship. i had had a boyfriend for 3 years but we hit rocky times. good this be it? help me make sense of this. i feel rejected!
Author daterhater Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 anyone know? i have to go out in a few minutes and i think he's going to be there too. i want some good perspective on the situation before i head out.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 Don't feel rejected. It's a waste of time. It 's been a long time since you've shared a kiss. I'm sure a lot has happened to both of you in the meantime. To be honest, it sounds like he wasn't that into you. You had several opportunities to chat and he didn't really take the time to find out about your life and what you've been up to. I would take that as disinterest. Get a new crush. There are lots of cute boys out there, and you haven't even seen this guy in years.
westrock Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 i'm pretty sure he thinks i am in a serious relationship. That could likely be it. Any respectful guy who is under the belief you are in a relationship will not make any moves on you. Try flirting with him. Show him your best feminine happy side. If he doesn't respond, take comfort that other guys will notice you.
Author daterhater Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 Don't feel rejected. It's a waste of time. It 's been a long time since you've shared a kiss. I'm sure a lot has happened to both of you in the meantime. To be honest, it sounds like he wasn't that into you. You had several opportunities to chat and he didn't really take the time to find out about your life and what you've been up to. I would take that as disinterest. Get a new crush. There are lots of cute boys out there, and you haven't even seen this guy in years. aww. now i really don't want to go out tonight and run into him. a lot has happened since we kissed on new years eve. i have had two serious boyfriends and a couple casual relationships while he has had zero girlfriends. it doesn't even seem like he talks to girls when he's out. i remember after our new years eve kiss, i wanted to hang uot with him more and date him but he was really shy and weird again. he was so hard to read, that i stopped talking to him all together. like i'd see him out and pretend i didn't see him. this is when i began dating other guys. i've always secretly liked him though.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 That could likely be it. Start flirting with him! Show him your best feminine happy side. But still, if he was interested, he could have asked her about the bf. Hey, how's Bill? Are you guys married yet? Well, actually Jim, Bill is no longer in my life. End of confusion. That being said, there is no harm in the OP subtly letting him no she is no longer in a serious relationship.
Author daterhater Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 That could likely be it. Any respectful guy who is under the belief you are in a relationship will not make any moves on you. Try flirting with him. Show him your best feminine happy side. If he doesn't respond, take comfort that other guys will notice you. how would i go about flirting with him? the other night i tried my best. i went over to him and say, "so this is dumb.... but... i don't remember you being that tall." lame, yes. it also didn't make a good conversation started. it ended shortly after and i walked away blushing that time.
Author daterhater Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 But still, if he was interested, he could have asked her about the bf. Hey, how's Bill? Are you guys married yet? Well, actually Jim, Bill is no longer in my life. End of confusion. That being said, there is no harm in the OP subtly letting him no she is no longer in a serious relationship. he would never bring that up. here is why. a few weeks ago at a bar, i saw my crush. i was with my ex boyfriend. while talking to him, my ex (who is drunk) says, "hey, i'm going outside." i replied, "okay..." and my ex was like, "come outside with me." so, i had to go and i left my crush standing alone. i don't think he'd ask me about my boyfriend again. plus i'm not forward enough to say, "so, the weather is gorgeous and...oh yeah... i'm single."
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 Daterhater, that was just my take on it. Don't let one opinion color the whole scenario. I think it will be up to you to let him know there is no bf. You don't have to come right out with it and say, btw, I don't have a bf anymore. You could just chat him up casually, and in the middle of the conversation, start telling some story. Then you could say, wow, Jim always thought that story was funny when we were together. I don't know. Just bring it up casually somehow.
Lucky_One Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 What kind of kiss, and how old is he? Has he EVER had a serious GF?
westrock Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 I agree with Cherry Blossom. You need to convey to him you are single. Either do it directly ("You know I'm single, right?") or indirectly using Cherry Blossom's suggestions.
Author daterhater Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 What kind of kiss, and how old is he? Has he EVER had a serious GF? the kiss started out as an innocent clock strikes 12 kiss and didn't stop all night long. it was crazy and passionate and wonderful. i am NOT into PDA at all but that night we made out on a couch in a crowded room and didn't stop. the guy friend i came with (the same from earlier in my post) was pissed and left the party. i ended up going home with my crush that night...but i made sure nothing further than kissing happened. i was 20 at the time. he was 21. now he's 26. and nope, he's never ever had a serious girlfriend.
Author daterhater Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 I agree with Cherry Blossom. You need to convey to him you are single. Either do it directly ("You know I'm single, right?") or indirectly using Cherry Blossom's suggestions. but would him thinking i'm in a relationship make him keep running away at a party? i have known guys with girlfriends and if they're girlfriends aren't there, i don't feel bad at least talking to them.
Lucky_One Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 He could be gay, or struggling with some bi issues. That's pretty old to not have ever have a GF. It is a rare man who is approached several times by an old make-out partner and can't get the vibe that she is interested in him. I would have to guess that he knows you are interested, so he leaves the conversation. Sorry.
hanson Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 hes probably very shy, i'm sure he likes you, you probably going to have to put the moves on him since he won't
Author daterhater Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 He could be gay, or struggling with some bi issues. That's pretty old to not have ever have a GF. It is a rare man who is approached several times by an old make-out partner and can't get the vibe that she is interested in him. I would have to guess that he knows you are interested, so he leaves the conversation. Sorry. i agree. it's really odd. but i could understand not having a girlfriend if he's this way with every girl who likes him. it would be frustrating and a girl would move on before trying to crack him. i don't know. can you tell that i'm trying to put up a fight because i can't deal with him not liking me? ha.
Author daterhater Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 hes probably very shy, i'm sure he likes you, you probably going to have to put the moves on him since he won't i was GOING to try and put the moves on him at the after hours party, but he kept changing locations and i could never get to it! it's sad because i actually put a lot of thought into how i looked that night (which normally i don't give a **** because i was so nervous about seeing him). then he didn't even stay around me long!
westrock Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 It is a rare man who is approached several times by an old make-out partner and can't get the vibe that she is interested in him. I would have to guess that he knows you are interested, so he leaves the conversation. He may be getting the vibe, but if he thinks she is in a relationship, maybe he feels uncomfortable what she is doing and decides to distance himself out of respect. I think OP needs to communicate clearly to him that she is single.
Author daterhater Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 He may be getting the vibe, but if he thinks she is in a relationship, maybe he feels uncomfortable what she is doing and decides to distance himself out of respect. I think OP needs to communicate clearly to him that she is single. if i remember right... he acted this way before our nye kiss when we were both single. this baffles me though. who would NOT be all over a girl if she liked you or you liked her? i'm shy, but if i got the vibe a guy liked me, i'd try to talk to him a lot during the night.
Author daterhater Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 i might not go out tonight. maybe i should keep my distance from him.
westrock Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 i'm shy, but if i got the vibe a guy liked me, i'd try to talk to him a lot during the night. Even if you knew or thought he was in a serious relationship with someone else?
Author daterhater Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 Even if you knew or thought he was in a serious relationship with someone else? hmm...well...maybe if i thought his relationship wasn't going smoothly. it wouldn't hurt, would i? i would have zero interest in talking to a married guy though. i guess that sounds ****ty of me. hmm...
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 i might not go out tonight. maybe i should keep my distance from him. Why? Might as well find out sooner rather than later. Do you know he will definitely be where you plan on going?
Author daterhater Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 Why? Might as well find out sooner rather than later. Do you know he will definitely be where you plan on going? no, not 100%. he mentioned going a couple weeks ago. not sure if he still plans on it.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 no, not 100%. he mentioned going a couple weeks ago. not sure if he still plans on it. I say go if you still feel like it.
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